# Just punchlines **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [January 13, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035 "2017-01-13T14:16:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/1 "2017-01-13T14:16:32Z")
…The Scottish shepherd says ‘Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe’ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/2 "2017-01-13T14:17:51Z")
…It’s the chicken. He’s here to see you. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/3 "2017-01-13T14:20:54Z")
Twenty dollars, same as in town. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/4 "2017-01-13T14:25:28Z")
> [@Cardigan](#): > > …The Scottish shepherd says ‘Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe’ “But you fuck one sheep…” ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/5 "2017-01-13T14:28:41Z")
…Death by ooga booga ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/6 "2017-01-13T14:30:23Z")
…Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that ate your new shoes? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/7 "2017-01-13T14:39:01Z")
Damn near killed him! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/8 "2017-01-13T14:39:18Z")
“If the tampon’s behind my ear, where did I put my pen?” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/9 "2017-01-13T14:41:28Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > “If the tampon’s behind my ear, where did I put my pen?” …then some asshole has my pen!" ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/10 "2017-01-13T14:41:37Z")
…no, but thankfully I got 'em with the car door. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/11 "2017-01-13T14:44:55Z")
You’ve got me driving two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester G. picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/12 "2017-01-13T14:45:41Z")
…a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/13 "2017-01-13T14:49:01Z")
…and anyone can catch a blue elephant. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/14 "2017-01-13T15:17:38Z")
. . .most of us just ride the camel into town and find a prostitute. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/15 "2017-01-13T15:18:14Z")
You have a drink named _Bob_? ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/16 "2017-01-13T15:31:13Z")
…don’t worry, Father, there’s a parachute left; that guy who said he was the smartest man in the world jumped out with my knapsack. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/17 "2017-01-13T16:34:55Z")
Because she’s my girl, Bill. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/18 "2017-01-13T16:37:02Z")
Crunch bird, my ass! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/19 "2017-01-13T16:54:48Z")
MOO! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/20 "2017-01-13T16:57:32Z")
No, no, it’s just ice cream! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035.md?page=2)