# Just punchlines **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [January 13, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035 "2017-01-13T14:16:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/361 "2017-09-19T22:32:40Z")
She conks to stupor. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/362 "2017-09-20T18:09:14Z")
Well, on the one hand, the stage magician has a cunning stunt… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/363 "2017-09-20T18:27:53Z")
Are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew? ---
**Author:** ![Srsly\_Dad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@Srsly\_Dad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Srsly_Dad)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/364 "2017-09-20T18:50:08Z")
Hey Mister I see you shot yourself another golf ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/365 "2017-09-20T21:03:04Z")
“Ah, well,” he said. “I suppose it’s better Nate than lever.” And he ran over the snake. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2017, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/366 "2017-09-21T02:56:03Z")
(sweating profusely) Me? I’m not really here! ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2017, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/367 "2017-09-21T03:04:15Z")
(With a mischievous smile) Hi! I’m Mary! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2017, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/368 "2017-09-21T04:00:27Z")
Dammit, I missed! ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2017, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/369 "2017-09-21T17:56:39Z")
You are?! Damn! I’m the luckiest Palestinian in Ireland! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2017, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/370 "2017-09-22T03:33:56Z")
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2017, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/371 "2017-09-22T15:21:31Z")
Parrot: _ **IT’S THE PLUMBER!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/372 "2017-09-23T01:38:46Z")
Sir Lancelot: [unintelligible] ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/373 "2017-09-23T03:50:15Z")
It’s a start. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/374 "2017-09-23T10:55:09Z")
The parrot said, “Africa.” ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/375 "2017-09-23T18:38:16Z")
Tuna fish. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/376 "2017-09-23T20:23:26Z")
Michael (“Meathead”) Stivic: _ **Abraham** _ - Lincoln! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/377 "2017-09-24T03:21:19Z")
She said, “I thought I told you to go to sleep.” ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/378 "2017-09-24T05:16:08Z")
Edith (“Dingbat”) Bunker: 😕 I didn’t know Lincoln was Jewish… ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/379 "2017-09-24T15:14:17Z")
First one: Because they’re afraid of the cow falling on them. - Second one: Because they can’t figure out how to get a whole jug of water into the little packet of powder. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2017, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/380 "2017-09-25T03:52:32Z")
I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that lightbulb! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035.md?page=20)