# Just punchlines **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [January 13, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035 "2017-01-13T14:16:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2017, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/401 "2017-10-03T12:04:00Z")
Two: one to mix the drinks and the other to call the electrician ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2017, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/402 "2017-10-03T18:36:41Z")
You don’t know, man! _You weren’t there!_ ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2017, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/403 "2017-10-03T19:06:41Z")
The third statistician yells out: “We got him!” ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/404 "2017-10-05T18:12:28Z")
No, I really don’t, teacher. I just hated to see you standing up in the front _ **all by yourself** _! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/405 "2017-10-05T19:07:52Z")
Not right now, dad. My butt’s still sore. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/406 "2017-10-07T02:23:06Z")
Boy: (smirking voice) “It’s not my finger.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/407 "2017-10-07T04:57:23Z")
Beige. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/408 "2017-10-10T15:55:04Z")
The other half are men. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/409 "2017-10-10T16:37:37Z")
My third wish is to have my ability to please them reduced by half ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/410 "2017-10-10T18:29:44Z")
He fell out of a guard tower. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/411 "2017-10-10T19:45:05Z")
Fill it up with water. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/412 "2017-10-10T19:52:10Z")
There’s white-out on the computer screen. ---
**Author:** ![Srsly\_Dad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@Srsly\_Dad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Srsly_Dad)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/413 "2017-10-10T20:02:54Z")
You don’t have to Father, the world’s smartest man just took my backpack ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2017, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/414 "2017-10-11T15:49:19Z")
One… B. Six…G. Seven… I. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/415 "2017-10-13T06:31:31Z")
The doctor said: “Okay, you’re ugly too!” ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/416 "2017-10-13T12:56:11Z")
No, he’s-a not! He’s-a wearin’ a neck-a-tie! ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/417 "2017-10-13T13:16:54Z")
Yes, but this Fokker was flying a Messerschmidt ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/418 "2017-10-13T15:32:00Z")
Well, just do your best. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/419 "2017-10-13T17:24:32Z")
“See - I _told_ you it was Joe DiMaggio!” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/420 "2017-10-14T05:12:55Z")
Your parole officer hasn’t been born yet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035.md?page=22)