# Just punchlines **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [January 13, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035 "2017-01-13T14:16:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2017, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/461 "2017-11-06T18:42:44Z")
I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2017, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/462 "2017-11-06T19:41:52Z")
He burned his lips on the tailpipe. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2017, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/463 "2017-11-09T05:17:39Z")
I had my wallet stolen October 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 28th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy some more wallets. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2017, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/464 "2017-11-09T14:43:07Z")
“No, no, my dear. In the Senate, perhaps, but not in the House…” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/465 "2017-11-10T09:34:10Z")
“Why should I care? I’m a helicopter!” ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2017, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/466 "2017-11-12T14:59:41Z")
Put it on my bill. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/467 "2017-11-13T14:48:51Z")
_Une shmatte? Quelle chutzpah!_ ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/468 "2017-11-13T14:50:00Z")
One is a group of cunning runts ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/469 "2017-11-13T17:11:21Z")
That’s not my dog. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/470 "2017-11-14T06:18:44Z")
Lucky for him I was still awake, playing the bagpipes. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2017, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/471 "2017-11-15T12:06:48Z")
“Today’s the day the teddy-boys have their picks nicked.” ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2017, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/472 "2017-11-20T12:22:08Z")
One of the three boys: _Oh! “When you die”… go to heaven. Sure! We thought you meant right now!_ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2017, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/473 "2017-11-20T12:32:24Z")
“At that speed, two days”. “I’m crazy, not stupid.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2017, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/474 "2017-11-20T20:34:02Z")
“Jeez, Mom, I’m going as fast as I can!” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/475 "2017-11-21T13:48:09Z")
Same disease, better health plan. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/476 "2017-11-21T20:44:38Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Same disease, better health plan. I did that awhile back as “Same diagnosis, better HMO.” A recent favorite of mine. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2017, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/477 "2017-11-22T13:41:22Z")
because _European_ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2017, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/478 "2017-11-22T14:52:07Z")
At Princeton, they teach us not to pee on our hands. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/479 "2017-11-23T00:33:21Z")
A full set of teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/480 "2017-11-23T05:00:40Z")
A West Virginia unemployment line. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035.md?page=25)