# Just punchlines **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [January 13, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035 "2017-01-13T14:16:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/481 "2017-11-23T15:23:30Z")
“Who gave you the nickel?” “They _all_ did.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/482 "2017-11-23T17:44:51Z")
“And that’s why I thought she was over 18, Your Honor.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/483 "2017-11-23T23:58:05Z")
“Oh, I forgot – your brother has the car tonight.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/484 "2017-11-24T04:20:02Z")
He can barely pay attention, but when he does the picture’s _incredibly_ clear. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/485 "2017-11-24T14:43:27Z")
‘Hey, you’re Arnold Palmer!’. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/486 "2017-11-24T16:13:21Z")
How many vitamins do you have to eat before you’re full? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2017, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/487 "2017-11-28T13:59:50Z")
“I’m not surprised. Ever since you got here, it’s been bitch, bitch, bitch.” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/488 "2017-11-28T18:50:15Z")
Stupid autocorrect! I meant _wifi,_ not wife! ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2017, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/489 "2017-12-10T03:55:30Z")
Now is the discount of our winter tent. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2017, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/490 "2017-12-10T05:37:49Z")
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/491 "2017-12-23T20:29:33Z")
Who you gonna believe: the three mouse-cat ears or the count of Monry Chrisco? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/492 "2018-01-30T21:22:03Z")
Those who can count, and those who can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/493 "2018-02-19T18:32:24Z")
If you think that’s bad, I just saw the Pope go by on a skateboard ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/494 "2018-02-19T19:12:35Z")
Well, she’s black, and she’s pissed. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/495 "2018-02-19T20:42:41Z")
Then St. Peter returned and said, “Here’s your three bucks. Now go to hell.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/496 "2018-02-19T21:16:13Z")
He’s not an eggplant, he’s retarded! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/497 "2018-02-19T21:26:36Z")
_No, the Pearly Gates!_ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/498 "2018-02-20T02:51:31Z")
When it comes out, I’m going to sue myself and make a fortune. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2018, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/499 "2018-03-18T14:15:02Z")
Violint ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2018, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035/500 "2018-03-18T22:27:23Z")
I was going to put a stop to it, but I noticed the kitten was winning. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-punchlines/777035.md?page=26)