# Just saw an article on the NYT about a man who was arrested for assaulting a federal officer in WDC. . .with his Subway sandwich **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2025, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043 "2025-08-14T15:49:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/1 "2025-08-14T15:49:56Z")
Just saw an article on the NYT about a man who was arrested for assaulting a federal officer in WDC. . .with his Subway sandwich. He started out yelling at the feds, calling them “fascists”, started to leave, then returned and hit the guy in the chest with the food. They chased him down and arrested him. He could get a year or more. I’m wondering if the fed was transported to the Mayo clinic? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/2 "2025-08-14T16:11:24Z")
It was Assault With A Sub(marine sandwich), and the cop had (cold)cuts all over his body. The dude was literally peppered. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/3 "2025-08-14T16:14:23Z")
If it was a ham sandwich, all bets are off… > **[indict a ham sandwich - Wiktionary, the free dictionary](https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/indict_a_ham_sandwich)** ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/4 "2025-08-14T16:59:07Z")
[Here’s a more detailed origin of the phrase.](https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/11/sol-wachtler-the-judge-who-coined-indict-a-ham-sandwich-was-himself-indicted.html) ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/5 "2025-08-14T17:02:26Z")
It’s getting so difficult to mustard any outrage about stories like this these days. ---
**Author:** ![Airbeck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/airbeck/32/6574_2.png) [@Airbeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airbeck)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/6 "2025-08-14T17:03:49Z")
Lettuce get back to the topic at hand, shall we? ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/7 "2025-08-14T17:11:34Z")
Perhaps this topic should become it’s own sub-thread? ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/8 "2025-08-14T17:18:33Z")
Um, I was making a joke. I didn’t mean for it to be taken seriously. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/9 "2025-08-14T17:18:42Z")
**Moderating:** Spun off new thread. > [@Tatterdemalion](#): > > Perhaps this topic should become it’s own sub-thread? Absolutely. (and yes I see what you did there.) ---
**Author:** ![teelabrown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teelabrown/32/8412_2.png) [@teelabrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teelabrown)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/10 "2025-08-14T17:28:42Z")
> [@Airbeck](#): > > Lettuce get back to the topic at hand, shall we? Yes, before we grinder the hijack into the ground, or the mods will torpedo the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/11 "2025-08-14T17:38:25Z")
Some would call this man a hero. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/12 "2025-08-14T17:43:08Z")
I relished the whole story. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/13 "2025-08-14T17:43:56Z")
Subway: beat flesh. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/14 "2025-08-14T17:54:12Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > They chased him down and arrested him. He could get a year or more. This seems like a clear case of malicious prosciutto. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/15 "2025-08-14T17:55:19Z")
Well, I’m out of puns, so let’s wrap this up. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/16 "2025-08-14T17:56:14Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > They chased him down and arrested him. He could get a year or more. Good thing the cheese wasn’t extra sharp. That’s an enhancement. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/17 "2025-08-14T17:56:50Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > beat flesh. I read that as ‘beat _ **fish** _. The difference between meat and fish is that if you beat your fish, it will die. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/18 "2025-08-14T18:01:22Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > Well, I’m out of puns, so let’s wrap this up. The thing about Subway’s bread is that it’s terrible. You can hardly make anything out of flour worse than what they make. The sandwich fillings are fine, but the bun is the lowest form of wheat. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/19 "2025-08-14T18:05:24Z")
Setting the dumb jokes aside, turns out the bread-tosser was – and that’s the correct tense–a DOJ employee: > **[Alleged DC sandwich-thrower worked at justice department, attorney general says](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/aug/14/dc-sandwich-thrower-justice-department)** > > Sean Charles Dunn, who was charged with assaulting a law enforcement officer, was fired after incident ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/20 "2025-08-14T18:05:36Z")
If it becomes a trend, instead of sandwiches they should throw pierogi at the cops, to commemorate their [boss](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeanine_Pirro) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043.md?page=2)