# Just saw an article on the NYT about a man who was arrested for assaulting a federal officer in WDC. . .with his Subway sandwich **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2025, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043 "2025-08-14T15:49:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/41 "2025-08-14T20:58:55Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Now you’re just being a PITA. It’s what happens when you give me time to loaf. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/42 "2025-08-14T21:01:05Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > It’s what happens when you give me time to loaf. I think that’s a wrap. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/43 "2025-08-14T21:13:06Z")
I bet this feds did nazi that coming. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/44 "2025-08-14T21:15:04Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > The thing about Subway’s bread is that it’s terrible. QFT. They brag (or used to, I dunno) that they baked their bread every day. But it’s awful. Like eating cotton balls. No taste. No texture. > [@Aspenglow](#): > > We girlz just manna have fun. 😉 Good timing. My sister’s in the other room playing 80s videos, and she just played this (well, the Cyndi Lauper version). I hadn’t heard it in years. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/45 "2025-08-14T21:26:44Z")
The herb and cheese is doable and, given the paucity of toppings, I really wouldn’t want any more substantive a bread, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/46 "2025-08-14T21:49:43Z")
As this seems to be a joke thread, but vaguely political in origin, I’ll deliver this to #In My Humble Opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/47 "2025-08-14T22:01:09Z")
Jussie Smollett is back in the news, seeking publicity. Possible assault with a frozen Subway sandwich. MAGA hats. Going to be a big story. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/48 "2025-08-14T22:21:19Z")
One of their sandwiches used to assault a federal officer? This might be the worst publicity Subway’s ever gotten. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/49 "2025-08-14T22:25:39Z")
No, the worst publicity Subway has ever gotten is from anyone who has eaten their food. ---
**Author:** ![Zoobi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/13edae/32.png) [@Zoobi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoobi)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/50 "2025-08-14T22:52:21Z")
I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/51 "2025-08-14T23:04:56Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > They chased him down and arrested him. Unless one is assaulting police officers in the name of Trump, dragging them down steps, or crushing them in doorways, one will be arrested and charged with a felony. Maybe this offender should have donned (pun unintentional) a fashionable red baseball cap, then he could have done whatever the fuck he felt like doing. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2025, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/52 "2025-08-14T23:10:58Z")
Yeah, that doesn’t work when you’re resisting fascism. It only works for the fascists. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2025, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/53 "2025-08-15T00:29:28Z")
While not directly related this just happened: > **[Prosecutors clear Florida officer who punched man in traffic stop](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cq68z8e0v50o)** > > William McNeil Jr took a video of himself sitting in his car as an officer hit him and dragged him to the ground earlier this year. So, that happens and no punishment. At all. A guy throws a sandwich and gets federal assault charges (and fired from his job)? Please make it all make sense! ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2025, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/54 "2025-08-15T00:43:52Z")
It’s what the people wanted. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2025, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/55 "2025-08-15T01:00:04Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > So, that happens and no punishment. At all. A guy throws a sandwich and gets federal assault charges (and fired from his job)? > > Please make it all make sense! Welcome to 21092854. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2025, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/56 "2025-08-15T01:21:47Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Please make it all make sense! Sorry, that department has been DOGE’d. ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2025, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/57 "2025-08-15T01:24:35Z")
The other agents immediately wrestled the sandwich to the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Kimble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kimble/32/19185_2.png) [@Kimble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimble)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2025, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/58 "2025-08-15T01:40:30Z")
> **[Joshua Erlich (@joshuaerlich.bsky.social)](https://bsky.app/profile/joshuaerlich.bsky.social/post/3lwetltdcfs2i)** > > sandwich guy got charged with one count of monte cristo ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2025, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/59 "2025-08-15T01:43:43Z")
This one is easy. If a prosecutor doesn’t have a good relationship with police in most cities, that prosecutor is pretty much screwed. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2025, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/60 "2025-08-15T01:59:24Z")
Hope he’s got enough bread to put up bail. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043.md?page=4)