# Just saw an article on the NYT about a man who was arrested for assaulting a federal officer in WDC. . .with his Subway sandwich **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2025, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043 "2025-08-14T15:49:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/81 "2025-08-16T19:01:05Z")
Seems this should go here: > **[https://preview.redd.it/wagwp35mgajf1.jpeg?auto=webp&s=156315cb6da3f4b0c914e...](https://preview.redd.it/wagwp35mgajf1.jpeg?auto=webp&s=156315cb6da3f4b0c914e086d56545b4295a5a61)** ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/82 "2025-08-16T22:34:53Z")
More people have been arrested for throwing Subway sandwiches, than Epstein’s clients. ---
**Author:** ![Fair\_Rarity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fair_rarity/32/153_2.png) [@Fair\_Rarity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fair_Rarity)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2025, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/83 "2025-08-17T23:59:04Z")
I overlooked this thread and have been annoyed that one of my other online places has not appreciated my jokes about this. I have to ketchup here. on a serious note, if some weirdo in my town threw a sandwich at me, I think the 911 dispatch would laugh at me ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2025, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/84 "2025-08-18T00:08:56Z")
> [@Fair\_Rarity](#): > > I overlooked this thread and have been annoyed that one of my other online places has not appreciated my jokes about this. Oh, were they sub-par? ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2025, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/85 "2025-08-18T00:20:48Z")
IIRC every defendant has a right to face their accuser in court. So, this cop needs to show up to the court room for the trial. I hope they take every opportunity to mock this officer and belittle him. I doubt it will improve the officer’s disposition but it will be great for the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2025, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/86 "2025-08-18T00:57:22Z")
> [@Fair\_Rarity](#): > > I overlooked this thread and have been annoyed that one of my other online places has not appreciated my jokes about this. I’d better avoid that site, or they’ll bahn mi. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2025, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/87 "2025-08-18T01:00:04Z")
Wins the thread. 👏🏽 ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2025, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/88 "2025-08-18T04:24:14Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > The punishment will likely be 30 days of eating nothing but Subway sandwiches and no water to wash them down. Jared lost a lot of weight eating subway sandwiches…or maybe he lost a lot of weight _not_ eating prison food. Hmmm, which one was it again? > [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > More people have been arrested for throwing Subway sandwiches, than Epstein’s clients. In fairness, it’s a _lot_ harder to throw one of Epstein’s clients. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2025, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/89 "2025-08-20T15:03:46Z")
[edit: goddammit, misused the search function] ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2025, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/90 "2025-08-21T16:11:56Z")
[How a thrown sub made ‘Sandwich Guy’ a resistance icon in Trump’s D.C. - The Washington Post](https://archive.ph/Y9XJ8) Back in the news ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2025, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/91 "2025-08-21T16:21:33Z")
Fucking hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2025, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/92 "2025-08-21T16:41:57Z")
A salami sandwich? [History really does repeat.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Salamis) ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2025, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/93 "2025-08-24T17:03:16Z")
If I was the cop, I would determine if the sandwich was untouched, and if so, I would probably eat it. And laugh at the guy for throwing it. ---
**Author:** ![2nd\_Law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/f475e1/32.png) [@2nd\_Law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2nd_Law)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2025, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/94 "2025-08-27T17:04:21Z")
Grand jury refuses to indict: > **[Prosecutors fail to indict sandwich thrower in Trump's Washington public...](https://apnews.com/article/washington-sandwich-thrower-indictment-trump-5d6ca5e2834eb0bb7ebe28a5ad188101)** > > Federal prosecutors have failed to indict a man who was seen on camera hurling a sandwich at a federal law enforcement official in the nation’s capital. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2025, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/95 "2025-08-27T17:05:37Z")
> [@2nd\_Law](#): > > Grand jury refuses to indict: Take THAT Sol Wachtler! ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2025, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/96 "2025-08-27T17:09:41Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > While it’s pretty clear that the feds overreacted, based on my awesome expertise derived from watching a lot of police bodycam videos on YouTube, hitting anyone with anything no matter how benign or harmless can technically be charged as assault. I wonder how many people here laughing at the ridiculousness of it would feel differently when a Karen throws water on them (which is also assault). ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2025, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/97 "2025-08-27T17:17:41Z")
Sounds like it was a salami dunk. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2025, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/98 "2025-08-27T17:28:37Z")
That’s great. I wonder if the prosecutor intentionally made that happen or if the grand jury really decided to tell the state to f-off on this one? ETA: I can easily see why no prosecutor would want to take this to trial. They’d be mercilessly mocked the whole way. Enough to end good career progression. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2025, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/99 "2025-08-27T18:28:36Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > I can easily see why no prosecutor would want to take this to trial. They’d be mercilessly mocked the whole way. Enough to end good career progression. Well, they could always sub out the work. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2025, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043/100 "2025-08-27T18:43:10Z")
> [@2nd\_Law](#): > > Grand jury refuses to indict Should have charged the sandwich itself. Everyone knows a grand jury will indict one of those. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-saw-an-article-on-the-nyt-about-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-assaulting-a-federal-officer-in-wdc-with-his-subway-sandwich/1022043.md?page=6)