# Just say "Mr. \_\_\_\_" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594 "2013-12-17T20:25:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/1 "2013-12-17T20:25:45Z")
Okay, young man/woman on the phone who has called me to ask for money for your cause or who I called for customer service, I’m the old man now, but this has nothing to do with being fussy about titles and all that. Now that I’m older, I know there are good reasons for social conventions. You should learn that too if you want me to listen to your stupid phone pitch or whatever. I have a legal first name, yes. But it’s not the name I use. I use a variant of it. If you knew me well, you’d know that. But you don’t. And that’s why you should stop calling me by my legal first name and call me “Mr.” and my last name instead. Using my legal first name just points out three things: your attempt to be personable has backfired and you don’t actually know me at all, you shouldn’t be calling me by my first name (even if you knew it) because you don’t know me, and you don’t know how to get around that problem by doing what you should be doing anyway, which is calling me “Mr. \_\_\_\_\_” instead. Got it, young fella? ---
**Author:** ![DragonAsh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DragonAsh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DragonAsh)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/2 "2013-12-17T20:46:17Z")
Also, get off my lawn. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/3 "2013-12-17T20:51:25Z")
Geez gramps, is it time for your Geritol? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/4 "2013-12-17T20:58:01Z")
(sound of me hanging up on you) ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/5 "2013-12-17T21:06:52Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Geez gramps, is it time for your Geritol? Like I said, this isn’t about titles or respect for elders or that crap. It’s about you using a simple way to avoid calling me a name that’s not really my name and thereby revealing how fake and rude your attempts to be familiar with me are. It would apply to anyone of any age. It’s just that young people don’t seem to understand how that works. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/6 "2013-12-17T21:07:41Z")
I get calls at work from people using my first name in an attempt to speak with me. Sometimes friends will call, but most of the time these are salesman. My receptionists always say, “well, Kayaker is busy now, why don’t you try his cell later?” This leads to a request for my number, which the receptionist can answer with, “oh. . .I assumed you would have it. I’m not permitted to give it out, sorry.” ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/7 "2013-12-17T21:11:08Z")
Whatever you say, Mr. Lance. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/8 "2013-12-17T21:14:10Z")
This advice helps no one. It doesn’t help you, because it removes a powerful tool for recognizing and avoiding telemarketers. I’ve known people who deliberately list their phone number under an unused variation of their name for just this reason. It doesn’t help the telemarketers because it’s well established that false familiarity from sales and service people results in greater sales, despite the number of people who hate it. Everyone would be worse off if your advice were followed! ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/9 "2013-12-17T21:19:30Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Like I said, this isn’t about titles or respect for elders or that crap. It’s about you using a simple way to avoid calling me a name that’s not really my name and thereby revealing how fake and rude your attempts to be familiar with me are. It would apply to anyone of any age. It’s just that young people don’t seem to understand how that works. This isn’t exactly fail-safe if the person they’re calling is female. Personally, I prefer that the telemarketers call me by my first name, because otherwise they default to “Mrs. Porpentine,” which I certainly am _not_. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/10 "2013-12-17T21:28:51Z")
Being called Mr. gets old really fast when it’s from a script. ‘Good Even Mr Typo. Thanks for taking the call Mr Typo. Does that sound like something you would be interest in Mr Typo. Hold on, Mr Typo…I need to be able to say Mr Typo 3 more times or else my manager will beat me.’ ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/11 "2013-12-17T21:35:29Z")
Wow… I’ve never had a solicitation (fund raising or opinion poll or whatnot) where the caller just jumps right in and calls me by my first name. I’d find it DAMN creepy, and probably tell the guy off before I hung up on him. (It’s funny enough that my last name is very difficult to pronounce. “Hello, Mr. Zirikino…Cheronoko…Vorobozo… Hi!”) ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/12 "2013-12-17T21:50:16Z")
Well, telemarketing drone is caught between a rock and a hard place, isn’t he ? If he calls you, you’ll tell him “Call me Mr. Strongarm !”. If he calls me just after that, I’ll probably tell him “Mr. 2 is my dad. I’m just Kobal”. Then I’ll make a fart noise and hang up, because fuck telemarketing drones. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/13 "2013-12-17T21:52:38Z")
Call me Mr. Tibbs!! ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/14 "2013-12-17T22:00:36Z")
For some odd reason I a large proportion of the telemarketers that I get call me Mr [First Name]. I suppose that there must be some mailing list I’m on where the first and last names are reversed, but it makes it really easy to figure out that I don’t want to talk to this person. ---
**Author:** ![spotthegerbil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@spotthegerbil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spotthegerbil)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/15 "2013-12-17T22:34:20Z")
(ring ring. I pick up.) “Hello Mr Hamster. I’m calling about…” The phone listing is still in my wife’s maiden name, but it’s usually me that answers the phone. If you know me, you are on first name terms and we talk. If you call me Mr Hamster, then you are out to fleece me. And don’t hang up on them. Just mute the phone. Once they start the script, they keep taking, and it means they aren’t bothering someone else. I’m on the “do not call” list, so I’ve given them fair warning. If they call me then it’s their time they are wasting. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/16 "2013-12-18T00:19:10Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Got it, young fella? How about they split the difference with the African-American convention - an honorific with your first name, so “Mr. Lance?” Familiar \*and \*respectful! ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/17 "2013-12-18T00:38:30Z")
That’s _MR._ Mr. to you sonny. ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/18 "2013-12-18T01:28:03Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > That’s _MR._ Mr. to you sonny. Cool! Play “Broken Wings”! ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/19 "2013-12-18T15:14:51Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Whatever you say, Mr. Lance. Well played, sir. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/20 "2013-12-18T15:16:27Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > This advice helps no one. It doesn’t help you, because it removes a powerful tool for recognizing and avoiding telemarketers. I’ve known people who deliberately list their phone number under an unused variation of their name for just this reason. > > It doesn’t help the telemarketers because it’s well established that false familiarity from sales and service people results in greater sales, despite the number of people who hate it. > > Everyone would be worse off if your advice were followed! Good point, Mr. Smithee, but my complaint is that it extends beyond telemarketers. People who call for causes I support, or people on customer service lines that I call, do it too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594.md?page=2)