# Just say "Mr. \_\_\_\_" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594 "2013-12-17T20:25:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![spotthegerbil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@spotthegerbil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spotthegerbil)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/41 "2013-12-18T23:26:15Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Wow, really? So you can’t imagine that someone would call you who doesn’t know you well enough to call you by your first name, yet have good news, or important news? I can think of dozens of other possibilities. I’m sure you wait until you hear them first before hanging up though. Nowadays I never hang up. I let them introduce themselves and then put the phone on mute so I can see how far they get into their script before they realise I’m not responding. If they had only checked the TPS list before calling then they wouldn’t be wasting their time. Friends know and use my first name. Companies I have a relationship with will use my surname. Callers who address me by my wife’s surname are, more often than not, soliciting business. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/42 "2013-12-18T23:38:31Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Wow, really? So you can’t imagine that someone would call you who doesn’t know you well enough to call you by your first name, yet have good news, or important news? I can think of dozens of other possibilities. I’m sure you wait until you hear them first before hanging up though. Maybe it’s the fatigue talking, but it occurs to me that if the caller doesn’t know the callee, the caller really has no way of knowing what manner of information the callee would consider to be good news (or important news). Still, you claim that you can think of dozens of other possibilities. Could I trouble you to list, perhaps _half_ of one of those dozens? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/43 "2013-12-18T23:41:22Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > There’s a way to deal with these scum: > > Caller: Mr. Toby, would… > > You: **KUNTA KINTE** > > Caller: Mr Kunty, would you be… > > You: **KUNTA KINTE** > > Caller: Mr Koonty, I represent the International Federation Against Pornography… > > You: **KUNTA KINTE** > > **click** > > See? No harm done. It occurs to me that they could have gotten through _Roots_ in a single episode, had Levar Burton only adopted your oh-so-sensible plan… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/44 "2013-12-18T23:46:14Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > I don’t generally mind people calling me by my first name. I actually prefer it. But I do mind when people who use my first name insist on the more formal form of address for themselves. > > It often happens with physicians. “Hi, [my first name]. What seems to be the problem?” Well, Bob [because I’ve looked at his hospital ID], you see **this screwdriver sticking out of my chest**?" > > And then Dr. Bob gets all bent out of shape. Easy to see why. He didn’t spend sixty years in school to listen to some _layperson_ spouting off a bunch of fancy-schmancy medical terminology. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/45 "2013-12-18T23:51:11Z")
> [@spotthegerbil](#): > > Nowadays I never hang up. I let them introduce themselves and then put the phone on mute so I can see how far they get into their script before they realise I’m not responding. If they had only checked the TPS list… Yeahhhh, umm… I notice yours doesn’t have a cover sheet… ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/46 "2013-12-19T00:12:28Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Maybe it’s the fatigue talking, but it occurs to me that if the caller doesn’t know the callee, the caller really has no way of knowing what manner of information the callee would consider to be good news (or important news). > > Still, you claim that you can think of dozens of other possibilities. Could I trouble you to list, perhaps _half_ of one of those dozens? Mr. X, I’m calling to remind you of your dentist appointment for next Tuesday… Mr. X, I’m calling to warn you about your bank balance being too low… Mr. X, I’m calling to tell you your child has been in an accident - he’s fine, but you need to come pick him up… Mr. X, I’m calling to tell you that your distant cousin has died… Mr. X, I’m calling to tell you that there’s some unusual activity on your credit card and we need to make sure it’s not stolen\*… Mr. X, I’m calling from the state lost property office about some money you inherited that we just discovered… \*Of course, a call like this could be a phishing scam, so you’d be smart enough not to give out your card number, which they should already know if they’re the credit card company. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/47 "2013-12-19T00:15:11Z")
> [@spotthegerbil](#): > > Nowadays I never hang up. I let them introduce themselves and then put the phone on mute so I can see how far they get into their script before they realise I’m not responding. If they had only checked the TPS list before calling then they wouldn’t be wasting their time. > > Friends know and use my first name. Companies I have a relationship with will use my surname. Callers who address me by my wife’s surname are, more often than not, soliciting business. They have robot telemarketers now that can have conversations with you. It’s weird. > **[Meet the Robot Telemarketer Who Denies She's A Robot](https://newsfeed.time.com/2013/12/10/meet-the-robot-telemarketer-who-denies-shes-a-robot/)** > > Our encounter with an all-too-convincing robot. What we need is a robot to respond to them. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/48 "2013-12-19T00:16:11Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > There is when it makes me feel like an old gasbag. Enough snotnose losers calling you by what they think is your first name, and you get over that feeling fast. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/49 "2013-12-19T00:17:15Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Is it threadshitting to shit on a shitter who’s shitting on a threadshitter? Not sure, so I’ll stay out of that one… > But I could tell stories about working for a boss whose first name wasn’t pronounced the ‘majority way’. Perfect for weeding out the salespeople: > > _“Yeah, put me through to Jan.”_ > > “You want Jan?” > > \*“Yeah, hurry it up. Personal friend of hers, she’s waiting for me to call.” > > \*“I doubt _ **Yon** _ wants to talk to you, or that you’ve ever met _ **him** _.” [click] LOL. Except it only works once if you give away the secret. ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/50 "2013-12-19T01:33:03Z")
My wife’s last name is different than mine. If anyone calls and asks for Mr. her name or Mrs. my name I give them a few seconds to determine it isn’t a mistake, which it can be, then give the same reply I give to all telemarketers. Thank-you I’m not interested.(click) ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/51 "2013-12-20T20:40:12Z")
Well, if they are using you first name, you must assume they want to be friendly and will not mind when you ask, “_Wh-what are you wearing?_” ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/52 "2013-12-21T00:03:37Z")
Good one, **For You.** The example that this always reminds me of is J.R.R. Tolkien being disgustedly bemused with people who didn’t know him trying to call him “John.” No one who knew him called him “John,” and he called it out as a ridiculous failed attempt at unwanted familiarity. (I’m not sure what his actual familiars called him but “Tolkien.” I think he was “Tolkien” to his friends, and “John Ronald” to those in his family for whom there wasn’t a better way of calling him than a personal name. But not “John.”) ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2013, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594/53 "2013-12-21T00:04:44Z")
I ususally get called by my “title-surname” but I can always tell a solicitor because my surname is usually mispronounced. There are at least three ways to pronounce it, in English, German, or French, but solicitors always find a fourth way. And the only two people I’ve ever heard pronounce it German fashion were native speakers of German. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-say-mr-____/676594.md?page=2)