# Just smile and be nice to the crazy person (long) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 10, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273 "2002-06-10T16:49:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/41 "2002-06-11T12:28:33Z")
**jayjay** , a few inches in height can make a big difference in how you can handle weight. Fifty pounds is also quite a jump. The difference between 450 and 500 pounds may not look as noticably different as between 100 and 150, but I’m guessing your body feels otherwise. Also, you could have a higher percentage of muscle, which weighs more, than **The Mermaid’s** patient. That being said, I hope you to get medical help. That much weight can’t be good for your heart. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/42 "2002-06-11T14:22:17Z")
JayJay, I don’t mean this to sound horrible but hope it is scary enough to you for motivation. How many seriously overweight guys over 70 have you seen? 60? As a percentage of the men you see at that age? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/43 "2002-06-11T17:40:24Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **The Mermaid** _ > > It took 5 people to hold back the skin folds… **PANIS PATROL!** 😃 (Gads, I’ve dated one too many doctors…) **Mermaid** , you have my sympathies. My father was in the hospital for three months, and I went out of my way to be nice to the nurses - and in turn, they went out of their way to be nice to me (and him, who is also a swell guy). It made a wholly unbearable situation almost tolerable, and each and every one of them was a saint in the making. I have no doubt you are exactly of the same calibre. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/44 "2002-06-11T17:42:37Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **capybara** _ > > Thank you, receptionists and secretaries as well. You’re welcome. 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![cagiva650](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cagiva650](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cagiva650)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/45 "2002-06-11T19:01:33Z")
Why was this family allowed to berate and harass you for hours and hours? What are visiting hours 24/7 at your hospital!? Pushy aggressive people have no business hanging out at a hospital on the pretense of visiting someone! ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/46 "2002-06-12T18:09:39Z")
Is it possible that the man was trying to point to his groin area, but his arm wouldn’t reach/point right/whatever because of his bulk? I’m sorry you had to deal with that Mermaid, and the fact that you kept your cool is amazing, because I know I wouldn’t have. (There’s a reason my brothers used to call me screaming mimi) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/47 "2002-06-12T20:10:07Z")
I have a sister who is an RN and an ex-Marine. I’d like to see the wife and the mother from the OP try that crap with _her_! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/48 "2002-06-13T12:20:22Z")
**Mermaid** , you are a saint. I don’t have much to add, so I’ll just say: What everyone else said, and You are not overweight! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DoctorJ \* > \*\* > Patients who are that profoundly overweight usually have an enabler, often a wife but sometimes (in the case of younger patients) a mother. > > \ > > This was very sad, and in my opinion, criminal on the part of his wife. This man was probably unable to feed himself at 600 or 700 pounds, so she had to be feeding him enough to not only maintain that bulk but eventually nearly double it. (We calculated the number of calories this would require; I forget the number, but it was astonishing.)\*\* I saw a morbidly obese woman on one of those talk shows once. Her kids were her enablers. They were describing the stuff they “had” to buy for her and meals they “had” to make: loaves of toast, entire chickens, et al. I was yelling, “If she were alcoholic, would you buy quarts of vodka and bring them to her? If she were a junkie, would you go out and score for her and then tie her off? Wake the fuck up!” ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/49 "2002-06-13T13:11:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cleosia \* > \*\*Maybe being married to her drove him to find what comfort and compensation he could in food. \*\* That is a very um…polite version of what I was thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/50 "2002-06-13T14:43:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LaurAnge \* > **Having worked in a hospital (in human resources), I would advise you to not only talk to the risk manager, but also your union rep. They can help a lot.** Absolutely. It’s ludicrous for an administrative officer to have contacted you about the complaint, but failed to provide adequate security measures to control/remove the abusive family members. Given that nurses in general, not to mention ones who can handle such difficult situations with professionalism are often in short supply, it’d be surprising if a complaint to the right person didn’t get action to keep this from happening again. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/51 "2002-06-13T16:50:24Z")
I know that if it were me, I’d have been calm for a while, but for that long a period of time, I would likely have blown up at them and start running a long string of profanities out of my mouth at the woman. I have a much longer fuse than I used to 10 years ago, but it’s not as long as yours. Hope you have a much better rest of the week! Jman ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/52 "2002-06-14T03:05:40Z")
Well my first day back after the incident certainly was interesting. The patient is still there and his mother and wife are working their way through the staff roster one victim at a time. Every doctor’s order is an opportunity to challange authority. Every word spoken to them becomes grist for the misinformation mill. Every annoyance however slight becomes an indictment of the nurse’s level of caring. These are clearly the most fucking ridiculous people I have ever dealt with. Ever! What particularly annoys me is their ability to turn EVERY SINGLE OCCURANCE into a 4 alarm fire. Pt’s IV goes bad cause his veins are so hard to get to. It’s the nurse’s fault. They are calling the Director of Nursing. Central line needs replaced cause he just don’t give a shit how he treats it, it’s another nurse’s fault. They are suing the doctor for malpractice. Soup was not disfiguringly hot, it’s the nurse’s fault. They are going to ask the health department to inspect those kitchens. And can they see the documentation regarding the temperature log of the food carts. . Today I spoke to several higher ups requesting further info on exactly who heard whom say what and to whom. They want to know who witnessed which event and are asking for meticulous and incredibly precise documentation of care given and patient’s response to it. Either they are going to try to dismiss or transfer the patient or want to make sure all the bases are covered when the legal complaints are made. You know a little knowledge is indeed a dangerous thing. And these folks are dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![Sanscour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Sanscour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanscour)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/53 "2002-06-14T06:49:02Z")
Why would Stephen King ever have to make up psychos for his novels when he can just go to where you work and take a few notes? My mother has been a nurse for over thirty years. IMHO people in the nursing profession should be propelled to sainthood for putting up with the shit they do. My hat is off to you Mermaid, though if I were you, if that bitch touched me the way she did again, I’d put her on the ground and made sure she stayed there. At least she’d have the comfort of being in a hospital when she got the ever loving shit kicked out of her. Sanscour ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/54 "2002-06-14T07:15:08Z")
Mermaid, I feel for ya, I really do. I’ve been there, and I admire your restraint. What’s sad, guys, is that this is a daily occurence in hospitals. People are soooo sue happy anymore. They truly blame everyone (especially the nurses, because we’re there 24/7), if something goes wrong. I’m a good nurse and an extremely nice person, but I come across so many mean people, it’s really jaded me. I hope every Doper reading Mermaid’s and the subsequent posts remembers: be nice to your nurses, be sympathetic. We are overworked and underpaid, and are trying our very very best to do what needs to be done with the resources we have. We wouldn’t be in this job if we didn’t care about people. I could say more, but I’d be ranting and crying. Be nice to folks, Lorie ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/55 "2002-06-14T07:45:11Z")
I think it’s time to tell these folks find a new hospital… ---
**Author:** ![Nightingale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@Nightingale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightingale)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/56 "2002-06-14T12:52:24Z")
I’m glad to hear that your hospital admin is recognizing that these people are the problem, rather than the nurses. My hospital generally takes a stand of “The patient is always right, the nurse is always to blame”. Apparently it’s that way all over town; a woman recently jumped over the triage desk and broke a nurse’s nose at our local children’s hospital, and hospital administration said it was the nurse’s fault!! Hang in there, Mermaid, and kill those people with kindness. Above all else, remember to document everything. This RN will be thinking good thoughts for you in the days to come. 😉 Hmmm, maybe we need a “Nurses’ Rant” thread. . . ---
**Author:** ![Nightsong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nightsong/32/3083_2.png) [@Nightsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightsong)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273/57 "2002-06-14T18:08:33Z")
Uff da! While my Mom has had to deal with a few doozies in her time (30 years as a nusre, 20+ on the rehab floors), I don’t think anything she’s gone through tops this. Heh, at this rate I’m tempted to say you (and/or the hospital) should sue this woman/family for defmataion of character, creating a hostile work enviroment, etc., etc., etc. At the very least, if they get physical again, they should call the police, no if’s and’s or but’s! Hang in there: hopefully in a few days you’ll have one of those patients that make being in the medical profession all worth while… * * * \<\< “You wanna know what’s on my shoes?” \>\> [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-smile-and-be-nice-to-the-crazy-person-long/113273.md?page=2)