# Just So's We're Clear....
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [February 8, 2006, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509 "2006-02-08T05:21:01Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/1 "2006-02-08T05:21:01Z")
So, lemme get this straight…
I can call other posters who I don’t know IRL [shitstains](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357222). I can imply the perform acts of sexual congress with their mothers. I can heap upon them loads of verbal abuse and name calling, and that’s cool.
It’s just peachy to pit [public figures](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356701) and [celebrities.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357538)
I can berate those [I work with](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356865) or [attend school with](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356710).
And it’s ok to pit [relatives](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356303) , whether they are [by marriage](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=354416) or by [blood](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=326481).
But I cannot pit in a humorous manner a fellow poster whom I happen to know IRL? I could understand if I betrayed a deep confidence or bedroom inadequecy, which might be embarassing.
Sadly, I don’t have either to share. All’s I got is a moldy towel.
This is so profoundly assinine as to be hysterical. You owe me a new pair of underwear, as I laughed so hard I wet the first pair. Evidence upon request.
I’d ask you to explain, but I doubt you can. I just wanted to make sure we were clear. I can pit everyone EXCEPT fellow dopers who are in agreement with the said pitting and also happen to live with me and are given ample opportunity to respond as they see fit, on or off board. Uh, got it. Just drop me a line to arrange the underwear thing. Email’s in profile.
---
### Author:  [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/2 "2006-02-08T05:24:04Z")
Wait, follow up question…
Can I pit an ex, who is also an SDMB member? He lives about 30 miles away, but we have had sex in the past and I had a drawer full of clothes at their house when we dated.
Can I pit IRL friends, associates, and coworkers who are on board?
What about people I’ve met at Dope-related gatherings?
I just want to be sure I get this. It seems rather complicated and random.
---
### Author:  [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/3 "2006-02-08T05:28:49Z")
IMHO;
> [@inkleberry](#):
>
> Wait, follow up question…
>
> Can I pit an ex, who is also an SDMB member?
Not if it’s about something that happened IRL.
> [@](#):
>
> Can I pit IRL friends, associates, and coworkers who are on board?
>
> What about people I’ve met at Dope-related gatherings?
As above.
> [@](#):
>
> I just want to be sure I get this. It seems rather complicated and random.
It’s not. You’re just an idiot.
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### Author:  [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/4 "2006-02-08T05:29:44Z")
I don’t see whats so hard to comprehend about “Don’t bring real life problems between Dopers onto the board.” Did you get hit in the head recently or are you normally this daft?
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### Author:  [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/5 "2006-02-08T05:35:33Z")
Far out. You and your real life partner REALLY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER, aren’t you. Your similarities in both being incredibly daft and self absorbed and just too fucking stupid for words in being incapable of reading moderator warnings is just too scary for words.
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### Author:  [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/6 "2006-02-08T05:52:20Z")
Obligatory [Link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357646)
Why does everyone always want a blanket rule for every single situation? “Can I post this, can I post that?” Yeah, post whatever the fuck you want, and if a Mod wants to close it, they’ll close it. I agree that it’s a bad idea to pick a fight with your husband while he is out of town and can’t defend himself on a public message board. It’s not like you got an official warning or were scolded, the mod just closed the thread because they felt it was inappropriate.
There doesn’t need to be a written rule set in stone for every single possible thread that might be closed.
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### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/7 "2006-02-08T06:08:49Z")
> [@inkleberry](#):
>
> But I cannot pit in a humorous manner a fellow poster whom I happen to know IRL? I could understand if I betrayed a deep confidence or bedroom inadequecy, which might be embarassing.
You can Pit another poster you know in real life for something they did on the board that bothered you. You can not Pit a fellow poster for something they did off-board that bothered you.
I’m not sure how to make it any clearer than that.
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/8 "2006-02-08T06:21:37Z")
The tragedy is that the two of you have reproduced.
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### Author:  [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/9 "2006-02-08T06:22:17Z")
You can pit whoever you want to pit. And when it becomes a personal conversation between two dopers who know each other in real life and they start bringing their private life onto the board and basically having a private exchange in a public format, however much jocularity ensues, it’s quite likely to get closed.
It’s not so much that you pit your husband. It’s that it becomes this ridiculously cutesy little private exchange between the two of you that you seem to think is worth a lot of board space. You now have, between the two of you, four threads on the front page of the pit. Two locked, two not. Matching threads. How cute. Or not.
Believe it or not, not everyone is interested in seeing what crazy antics Lucy and Ricky have come up with this week. It’s a discussion board, not your personal performance space.
---
### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/10 "2006-02-08T07:23:21Z")
What others have said, plus:
—If you’re not really mad at each other, then it belongs in MPSIMS, if it belongs on the board at all.
—It may be innocuous at first, but these things have a way of cutting deeper as they go along. Better to close the thread before that happens.
—And in fact, you were giving a bit TMI in the original thread.
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### Author:  [@alaricthegoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alaricthegoth)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/11 "2006-02-08T08:20:50Z")
do all moderated boards have such detailed “regulations”?
I infer that the elaborate kabuki rituals arose over time as a response to what I can only speculate were some thermonuclear cyber dustups–
I want to laugh but damn, everyone here takes this shit awful serious…
to paraphrase another poster’s thread title," get over your bad selves…"
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### Author:  [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/12 "2006-02-08T11:58:14Z")
> [@alaricthegoth](#):
>
> do all moderated boards have such detailed “regulations”?
>
> I infer that the elaborate kabuki rituals arose over time as a response to what I can only speculate were some thermonuclear cyber dustups–
>
> I want to laugh but damn, everyone here takes this shit awful serious…
>
> to paraphrase another poster’s thread title," get over your bad selves…"
The rules here have evolved over time. Other boards I am a member of have also evolved over time. The rules are similar, but not the same, it all depends on what problems have given the board headaches in the past.
---
### Author:  [@Creative\_Munster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creative_Munster)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/13 "2006-02-08T12:55:39Z")
Why do you two feel the need to have an audience for your personal crap? Do you really think that the unfortunate soul who happens to open up one of your threads thinks to themselves, “Oh, those zany kids. Isn’t it cute how they have conversations and arguments on the message board so we can all enjoy them instead of just talking to one another on the phone or in person like a normal couple?” Well, I hope that the responses you have been getting dispel this notion for the both of you.
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### Author:  [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/14 "2006-02-08T13:01:41Z")
You know, I hope they ban you both. How fucking stupid must you be after what- going on 4 closed threads (assuming they’ll close this one too) that you keep asking the same question? You’re both dense as a lead brick.
Don’t
Post
Your
Stupid
Marital
Spats
On
The
Boards
Is it really that difficult? Get a LJ if you need an audience for your personal life so bad. Christ!
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### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/15 "2006-02-08T13:23:43Z")
**Inky** , here’s how **DrLoveGun** ’s last two threads were closed:
> [@Lynn Bodoni](#):
>
> If you have a problem with someone in another area, such as chat, other message boards, or real life, solve it in that area, not the SDMB. We especially don’t want marital/relationship spats on the message board. We’ve banned people over this. See a marriage counserlor, get a divorce, whatever, just don’t drag the rest of us into it.
>
> Lynn
> For the Straight Dope
> Reply With Quote
> [@Giraffe](#):
>
> Do you guys not have each others’ phone numbers?
>
> Seriously, a real-life fight between two posters needs to be handled off-board. It’s just better.
> [@Giraffe](#):
>
> You misunderstand. It’s not that we’re worried about your feelings. Personally, I could give a crap about your feelings. That’s why I’m a _Pit_ moderator. It’s that we don’t want to watch posters harp on each other for things that happened off-board, whether it’s on another message board or in their living room. That’s not what the Pit is for.
>
> This thread is closed. Don’t start another one on this subject.
Surely you’ve read your SO’s threads. And you still don’t get it?
Then I have some advice: Both of you should voluntarily stop posting for, say, a month. If you can’t understand the simple explanations they’ve given you for not bringing your personal shit onto the boards, then just stay away. OK?
---
### Author:  [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/16 "2006-02-08T13:32:14Z")
> [@alaricthegoth](#):
>
> do all moderated boards have such detailed “regulations”?..
No, we don’t. That’s the OP asking for such detailed regulations. We’re talking about some basic social interction norms here. If you and your partner of whatever variety go to a social gathering, you might tell a story on each other in good fun as part of a relevant conversation. You might even start a conversation about some domestic annoyance in which everyone shares their domestic annoyance stories. But generally speaking, it would not be acceptable to overtake the entire conversation with your personal grievances or your intimate little pet names for each other or any other private interaction. It becomes an exclusive conversation (and often uncomfortable to witness) that takes center stage and pushes out any hope of general discussion or interaction. It might be amusing once or twice. But over and over again at every party, it’s wearing. The level of “noise” starts to drown out the rest of the conversation.
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### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/17 "2006-02-08T13:40:03Z")
> [@alaricthegoth](#):
>
> to paraphrase another poster’s thread title," get over your bad selves…"
Does it make you feel better about yourself to spend so much time hanging out with folks you feel contempt for? When I think a place is stupid, I LEAVE.
Daniel
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### Author:  [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/18 "2006-02-08T13:46:13Z")
> [@hajario](#):
>
> The tragedy is that the two of you have reproduced.
Yeeeeeeoch, thats vicious.
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### Author:  [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/19 "2006-02-08T13:52:22Z")
> [@treis](#):
>
> Yeeeeeeoch, thats vicious.
Pulls up a chair.
Pops popcorn…
---
### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2006, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-sos-were-clear/343509/20 "2006-02-08T13:59:43Z")
I hope to god you don’t spill that popcorn.
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