# Just the Punchlines, Please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261 "2005-05-24T15:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/1 "2005-05-24T15:08:52Z")
How he got in my pajamas, I’ll never know. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/2 "2005-05-24T15:15:42Z")
Lad, I dinna whur y’been, but I see y’tak first prize! ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/3 "2005-05-24T15:16:44Z")
Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!!! ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/4 "2005-05-24T15:17:37Z")
Yuh, the bull’s safe as anything. Can’t say the same about you though. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/5 "2005-05-24T15:25:44Z")
“Hey! Where’s my jelly donut?!” _ **\** _ ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/6 "2005-05-24T15:27:41Z")
Recognition: that’s all I want. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/7 "2005-05-24T15:49:38Z")
Know it?!?!? I _wrote_ it!!! ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/8 "2005-05-24T15:53:52Z")
He only took the tips. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/9 "2005-05-24T15:57:59Z")
All raht. Y’kin set ‘em a-swingin’ first. ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/10 "2005-05-24T16:00:27Z")
It was stapled to the monkey. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/11 "2005-05-24T16:07:43Z")
Voodoo Dick my _ASS_! ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/12 "2005-05-24T16:08:56Z")
I’s a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man is a Rolling Stone. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/13 "2005-05-24T16:09:49Z")
Maybe you should just pet him first. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/14 "2005-05-24T16:13:14Z")
I got your fucking canoe! Right here! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/15 "2005-05-24T16:14:44Z")
It doesn’t say “puny.” It says “Punxsutawney.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/16 "2005-05-24T16:15:36Z")
Posse, Silver! Posse! ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/17 "2005-05-24T16:17:18Z")
“I’m afraid not.” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/18 "2005-05-24T16:19:40Z")
“I’m a dreamer, Montreal.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/19 "2005-05-24T16:20:14Z")
Yo, man, I’m fuckin’ despair! ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/20 "2005-05-24T16:37:36Z")
“Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=2)