# Just the Punchlines, Please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261 "2005-05-24T15:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/221 "2005-05-31T12:35:46Z")
Go up and drain the dead blonde in 202. She’s full again. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/222 "2005-05-31T14:18:53Z")
The one in the middle with the beard and the bad breath has _gotta_ be Willie Nelson. I give up, what the hell did you do with the ship? No’m, it ain’t raisin, but it’s twitchin’ a mite. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/223 "2005-05-31T14:46:52Z")
You don’t understand…Chunks is my dog. ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/224 "2005-05-31T15:43:07Z")
So the Pope looks at each of them for a second, puts his hat down on the table and says, “You know… you fuckers are alright.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/225 "2005-06-02T13:07:13Z")
…and then I said “I’d like a little head.” ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2005, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/226 "2005-06-03T00:51:08Z")
Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em! Nope, I’m a frayed knot. To hide in strawberry patches. Put it on my bill. Cut off his nose. He was following the chicken. ---
**Author:** ![RunAmok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@RunAmok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RunAmok)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2005, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/227 "2005-06-03T01:57:46Z")
When I caught my breath, I called him Precious! Peer pressure. A can of Campbell’s Cream of Elephant soup. Because sheep don’t have strings. Not really… the hamster is a ventriloquist. We’re all going to Dallas! We’re all going to Dallas! ---
**Author:** ![manx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@manx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manx)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/228 "2005-06-03T04:24:20Z")
‘Come back, Cow!’ ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/229 "2005-06-03T18:01:51Z")
I’m leaving. The weather’s too bad to fuck in here. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/230 "2005-06-04T01:16:56Z")
**N** eed **A** nother **S** even **A** stronaughts ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/231 "2005-06-04T01:27:10Z")
“Damn ! I forgot I was riding the gelding !” “I am a drake , and there’s been a mistake… but I liked it !” “Aren’t you sorry you had me neutered ?” “You get eight more .” “So a Kentuckian can tell if he’s comin’ or goin’ .” ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/232 "2005-06-04T01:35:27Z")
Don’t tell me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there! For fifty bucks I want you naked! It was the least I could do. We were married for thirty years. By god, John, it’s a small world, isn’t it! Dammit, you didn’t have to go! _ **There’s no driver up there!!** _ You tell him, he’s shaving you! **MY** bicycle! ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/233 "2005-06-04T01:50:32Z")
Hey, these raisins are a bit off! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/234 "2005-06-04T01:59:02Z")
Supplies!! Supplies!! Not if I’m going to have to explain it five times. I think so, but I don’t know if my ass can take another hard-roll. Block that kick, block that kick! I thought you said “King Kong’s balls.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/235 "2005-06-04T13:10:41Z")
So he removed the golden screw and his ass fell off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=11)