# Just the Punchlines, Please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261 "2005-05-24T15:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/41 "2005-05-24T17:16:23Z")
They both come in quarts. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/42 "2005-05-24T17:17:05Z")
Michael Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/43 "2005-05-24T17:17:09Z")
Please, madam, don’t make my job _disgusting_. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/44 "2005-05-24T17:17:49Z")
Five. One to hold the lightbulb and four to stand in the corners and drink 'til the room starts to spin. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/45 "2005-05-24T17:19:26Z")
No, it’s just ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/46 "2005-05-24T17:20:38Z")
It contains bells and smells like pepper. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/47 "2005-05-24T17:21:01Z")
The third one ducked. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/48 "2005-05-24T17:21:25Z")
They can’t stand to leave their buddies behind. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/49 "2005-05-24T17:22:38Z")
Was it DiMaggio? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/50 "2005-05-24T17:25:23Z")
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/51 "2005-05-24T17:25:33Z")
It’s a rambling rack, from George’s attack, and an elephant engineer. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/52 "2005-05-24T17:26:50Z")
No way. I’m not gargling after her ass has been in it! ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/53 "2005-05-24T17:26:53Z")
Yes, but if you rub it, it turns into a suitcase. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/54 "2005-05-24T17:27:58Z")
$20, same as in town. ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/55 "2005-05-24T17:28:17Z")
Thursday is your turn in the barrel. One is a flaming Nazi gasbag; the other is just a blimp. ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/56 "2005-05-24T17:32:38Z")
I gotta respect a man who can eat that much ice cream… ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/57 "2005-05-24T17:36:13Z")
One is a cunning bunch of runts… ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/58 "2005-05-24T17:36:31Z")
“Thats a long way to tip a rarie” “It doesn’t _do_ anything” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/59 "2005-05-24T17:41:23Z")
…And then I wished for a 12 inch prick… ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/60 "2005-05-24T17:56:00Z")
You _are_ going to lengthen his legs, aren’t you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=4)