# Just the Punchlines, Please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261 "2005-05-24T15:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/61 "2005-05-24T17:58:02Z")
Dem Fokkers vas Messerschmidts! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/62 "2005-05-24T18:02:41Z")
You can’t hear a vitamin. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/63 "2005-05-24T18:12:25Z")
No wonder you’re cold. You done kicked off all your dirt. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/64 "2005-05-24T18:18:36Z")
I’m sorry, honeypot. I forgot that your brother wanted borrow the car earlier. ---
**Author:** ![swanky\_glue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@swanky\_glue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swanky_glue)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/65 "2005-05-24T18:26:25Z")
“Better Nate than Lever!” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/66 "2005-05-24T18:30:09Z")
You picked the ugliest one!!! ---
**Author:** ![cabdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@cabdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cabdude)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/67 "2005-05-24T18:30:32Z")
Easy - we just switched the heads. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/68 "2005-05-24T18:43:24Z")
That’s where I put it when I’m the kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/69 "2005-05-24T18:45:39Z")
:smack: **in** the kitchen. Sorry, ma’am, I didn’t realize you were a police officer. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/70 "2005-05-24T18:49:23Z")
Smurf come. “You’re such an asshole, Superman.” ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/71 "2005-05-24T19:09:08Z")
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? Seventy-three! Seventy-three! ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/72 "2005-05-24T19:17:37Z")
Dam! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/73 "2005-05-24T19:18:51Z")
Only when he’s drunk, officer. ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/74 "2005-05-24T19:25:27Z")
sis-boom-bah! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/75 "2005-05-24T19:39:34Z")
It’s better than pork, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/76 "2005-05-24T19:42:29Z")
Ever have a blowout in a running shoe at ninety miles per hour? ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/77 "2005-05-24T19:43:30Z")
Arrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts! ---
**Author:** ![cabdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@cabdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cabdude)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/78 "2005-05-24T19:49:10Z")
Ear sticky. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/79 "2005-05-24T19:50:32Z")
And, I swear your honor, that’s how this 16 year old girl came to be in my room. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/80 "2005-05-24T19:50:53Z")
You think I wanted a 12-inch _PIANIST_? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=5)