# Just the Punchlines, Please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261 "2005-05-24T15:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/81 "2005-05-24T19:55:12Z")
“I don’t know, but my ass sure hurts!” “Bring me a _ **posse** _!!!” ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/82 "2005-05-24T19:55:22Z")
And for my second and third wishes, I’ll take another two just like this one. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/83 "2005-05-24T19:57:46Z")
It says sprocket, not socket! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/84 "2005-05-24T19:59:18Z")
No soap, radio. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/85 "2005-05-24T20:01:31Z")
Crossing state lions with gulls for immortal porpoises. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/86 "2005-05-24T20:20:37Z")
She tastes blood on her son’s penis. “I said, ‘I’m soooooooo drunk!’” ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/87 "2005-05-24T20:34:35Z")
So the duck says to the nun “No thanks, I’ll do it myself”. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/88 "2005-05-24T20:40:47Z")
So I was hiding in a refridgerator… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/89 "2005-05-24T20:45:07Z")
“Should we tell him about the stepping stones?” “What stepping stones?” ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/90 "2005-05-24T21:13:13Z")
moooooooooooooooooooooo! ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/91 "2005-05-24T21:14:53Z")
You shoulda been here yesterday, there was some guy doin’ it to a chicken! ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/92 "2005-05-24T22:26:44Z")
A raven is a bird, while a desk is a piece of furniture. Obscure, and not really funny, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/93 "2005-05-24T22:30:52Z")
“Better Nate than lever!” ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/94 "2005-05-24T22:35:12Z")
“Great, now I’ll never get that smell off the fish.” ---
**Author:** ![Wallflower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Wallflower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallflower)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/95 "2005-05-24T22:42:47Z")
“Holy Mackerel! Where did all those fucking Indians come from!” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/96 "2005-05-24T22:48:26Z")
Kermit the Frog’s middle finger. ---
**Author:** ![exastris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b38774/32.png) [@exastris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/exastris)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/97 "2005-05-24T23:04:25Z")
“None- KLINGONS are NOT afraid of the DARK!” ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/98 "2005-05-24T23:09:47Z")
Two, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the lightbulb while the world revolves around her. Don’t worry, in two weeks, it fall of by itself. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/99 "2005-05-24T23:11:46Z")
Remember, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/100 "2005-05-24T23:14:33Z")
No, no. You wear a size 38… if you were to wear size 36, it would squeeze your testicles and cause severe headaches! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=6)