# Just the Punchlines, Please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261 "2005-05-24T15:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/101 "2005-05-24T23:26:14Z")
“Shiksa nun, half cousin of your mother.” ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/102 "2005-05-24T23:27:28Z")
It’ a tighter fit around the back… ---
**Author:** ![legion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@legion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legion)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/103 "2005-05-24T23:40:19Z")
Very impressive Lt. Smith. We normally just ride her to the local brothel. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/104 "2005-05-25T00:30:09Z")
Make 'em all ugly again. I wish for a mild heart attack. Crap. Now we’ll have to piss in the boat. Breakfast was _my_ idea. I define myself to be outside. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/105 "2005-05-25T00:34:21Z")
Because the duck won the cockfight. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/106 "2005-05-25T01:30:50Z")
Eats shoots and leaves. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/107 "2005-05-25T01:32:08Z")
The ceremony wasn’t very good, but the reception was excellent. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/108 "2005-05-25T01:42:31Z")
“Honey, the guy who shit in your tuba is here” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/109 "2005-05-25T01:43:27Z")
“No thanks, I’ll eat it here.” ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/110 "2005-05-25T01:46:09Z")
So, he bends over to pick up the coke and _POOF_, Rock Hudson is gone! ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/111 "2005-05-25T03:44:41Z")
“Never mind that, look at these two buttery ears of corn!” ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/112 "2005-05-25T06:21:12Z")
Cock robin 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cabdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@cabdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cabdude)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/113 "2005-05-25T09:12:12Z")
Yes, twice in 1944 but it was dark and I didn’t stop. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/114 "2005-05-25T09:18:37Z")
NO! It’s only ice cream! ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/115 "2005-05-25T12:20:10Z")
Yeah, but this one’s eatin’ my popcorn! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/116 "2005-05-25T12:25:47Z")
His dick tastes of shit. ---
**Author:** ![mittu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@mittu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mittu)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/117 "2005-05-25T12:30:04Z")
He’s a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-vexed-with-halitosis ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/118 "2005-05-25T12:40:30Z")
Because the Indians just kept coming and coming and coming. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/119 "2005-05-25T13:23:32Z")
Two obese Pattys, special Ross, Lester and Jeeves picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/120 "2005-05-25T13:46:18Z")
Hell, time ain’t nothing to a pig. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=7)