# Just the Punchlines, Please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261 "2005-05-24T15:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/121 "2005-05-25T14:31:13Z")
A tribe of retarded baboons. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/122 "2005-05-25T14:58:48Z")
Beats me, I couldn’t find the head! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/123 "2005-05-25T14:59:50Z")
Shut up, I was talking to the duck. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/124 "2005-05-25T15:01:50Z")
Well, before we cut its tail off and painted it brown we called it an alligator. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/125 "2005-05-25T15:24:39Z")
Everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/126 "2005-05-25T15:42:09Z")
You didn’t come here to hunt, did you? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/127 "2005-05-25T15:45:30Z")
So he shot her. ---
**Author:** ![Typically\_Sunday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Typically\_Sunday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typically_Sunday)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/128 "2005-05-25T15:57:12Z")
“Holy shit, a talking muffin!” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/129 "2005-05-25T16:06:01Z")
Wake up, man, we’re gonna be rich! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/130 "2005-05-25T16:26:11Z")
The Koala Tea of Mercy is not Strained. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/131 "2005-05-25T16:26:31Z")
At these prices I’m not surprised! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/132 "2005-05-25T16:34:55Z")
Jello moves more when you eat it. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/133 "2005-05-25T16:37:56Z")
Get in the back of the line. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/134 "2005-05-25T16:47:10Z")
If it was straight it would poke your eyes out. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/135 "2005-05-25T16:51:16Z")
So, when they get drunk, you can turn them upside down and carry them like a sixpack. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/136 "2005-05-25T17:18:47Z")
“Two, one to screw in the lighbulb, and the other to hold the penis… I mean ladder.” “Can you put me up for the night?” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/137 "2005-05-25T17:29:04Z")
Before you go any further, that sheep on the end is a liar. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/138 "2005-05-25T17:38:08Z")
No, Father, I think that’s just a reflection from the stained glass. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/139 "2005-05-25T18:28:42Z")
Don’t lie to me; I know you were out all night playing pool with the guys. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261/140 "2005-05-25T20:35:08Z")
“She shat in my face and bit off my dick.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-the-punchlines-please/305261.md?page=8)