# Just to Annoy Gadfly: The Paris Hilton "Simple Life" Thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 2, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578 "2003-12-02T21:41:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/21 "2003-12-03T02:25:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astra \* > **I don’t think I have ever seen a pair of more self-centered, rude, obnoxious, lazy, slutty, spoiled-rotten bitches. Ever.** Oh, that’s right, you didn’t meet me at the last Dopefest, did you? ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/22 "2003-12-03T02:26:44Z")
Let me weigh in with the first report on this show. ItS GREAT. those two are show as the air headed bimbo’s that they are. THe towns folk come off as honest hard working people filled with people for these two rich morons. In the hilton empire colasped today, they’d starve by midnight. In the last fifhteen minutes of that show I have learned that Paris hilton doesn’t Know a lot of things. 1. You can get a tick in the woods. 2. What a well is 3. hi opal 4. What a soup kitchen is 5. What wal-mart is. ---
**Author:** ![LadyMack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@LadyMack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMack)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/23 "2003-12-03T02:37:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astra \* > \*\* > > I don’t think I have ever seen a pair of more self-centered, rude, obnoxious, lazy, slutty, spoiled-rotten bitches. Ever. > > The way they treat other people is just horrible. > > Not my idea of entertainment. \*\* Mine either. I couldn’t help thinking how ridiculous everyday life can be made to appear, if edited, and only a few of the worst things are left. The other 23 1/2 hours of the day are what counts. I’m proud to be a hillbilly from way back. Even prouder that the Beverly Hills Brats were just visiting, and have left. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/24 "2003-12-03T02:40:38Z")
Let me weigh in with the first report on this show. ItS GREAT. those two are show as the air headed bimbo’s that they are. THe towns folk come off as honest hard working people filled with people for these two rich morons. In the hilton empire colasped today, they’d starve by midnight. In the last fifhteen minutes of that show I have learned that Paris hilton doesn’t Know a lot of things. 1. You can get a tick in the woods. 2. What a well is 3. hi opal 4. What a soup kitchen is 5. What wal-mart is. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/25 "2003-12-03T02:41:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MonkeyMule \* > \*\* > > In the last fifhteen minutes of that show I have learned that Paris hilton doesn’t Know a lot of things. > > 1. You can get a tick in the woods. > 2. What a well is > 3. hi opal > 4. What a soup kitchen is > 5. What wal-mart is. \*\* Why would Paris Hilton know about these things? These are not the type of things a slutty, skanky society girl would know about. I bet she and all her friends would be suprised and shocked that I didn’t know about golden-headed coke dildoes[sup]\*[/sup] [sup]\*[/sup]Or whatever it is slutty, skanky society girls know all about that working, middle-aged frumps know nothing of. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/26 "2003-12-03T02:41:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FaerieBeth \* > \*\*Oh…BMOC from UCA and UoA hanging around, eh?..Poor little me and my _alma mater_ up in Jonesboro. 😃 > > FB \*\* Naw. ATU; the one with the REALLY dumb team name… ---
**Author:** ![light\_strand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a6a055/32.png) [@light\_strand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/light_strand)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/27 "2003-12-03T02:45:48Z")
It’s not the cow’s rectum, it’s artificial insemination. Cows must calve approximately every two years to produce milk. City folk…you know nothin’ 'bout no cows. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/28 "2003-12-03T02:52:14Z")
If you feed um Fox’s U-Bet, don’t they give egg creams? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/29 "2003-12-03T03:00:13Z")
> [@](#): > > - > > Originally posted by Astra\* > I don’t think I have ever seen a pair of more self-centered, rude, obnoxious, lazy, slutty, spoiled-rotten bitches. Ever. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > Oh, that’s right, you didn’t meet me at the last Dopefest, did you? **Eve** , my angel, **Astra** said “A pair of . . . spoiled-rotten bitches” She needs to meet you and me together. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/30 "2003-12-03T03:09:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by light strand \* > \*\*It’s not the cow’s rectum, it’s artificial insemination. Cows must calve approximately every two years to produce milk. > > City folk…you know nothin’ 'bout no cows. \*\* True, but before the breeder can inject the semen, he or she needs to evacuate the cow’s rectum. By hand. The semen is obtained through anal stimulation from a bull at a facility miles away. And how do you know when to call the breeder, and for which cow? Simple: when you see the other cows mounting a particular cow in mock mating behaviour, she’s ready. Anal foreplay, lesbianism, all stuff never encountered by the two socialites on the club circuit, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/31 "2003-12-03T03:31:17Z")
. . . Now, a really good show would be me, **Ukulele Ike, Gobear** and **Biggirl** trying to hold down a farm all by ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/32 "2003-12-03T03:46:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FaerieBeth \* > \*\*Oh…BMOC from UCA and UoA hanging around, eh?..Poor little me and my _alma mater_ up in Jonesboro. 😃 > > FB \*\* UCA? UCA?? Sorry, I’m afraid that being a graduate of the former Arkansas State Teacher’s College is not a distinction I’m able to claim. ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/33 "2003-12-03T03:53:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astra \* > \*\*I saw the end of it while waiting for “24” to start. > > I don’t think I have ever seen a pair of more self-centered, rude, obnoxious, lazy, slutty, spoiled-rotten bitches. Ever. > > The way they treat other people is just horrible. > > Not my idea of entertainment. \*\* You got that just from the end of the show? ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/34 "2003-12-03T03:54:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rackensack \* > \*\*UCA? UCA?? Sorry, I’m afraid that being a graduate of the former Arkansas State Teacher’s College is not a distinction I’m able to claim. \*\* Sorry! Sorry! Had UCA stuck on my brain, due to trying to line up all my paperwork for admission to the Grad School. No offense intended. FB ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/35 "2003-12-03T04:08:39Z")
Oh my my. Nicole can’t walk with that dress at the beginning without showing her panties. They toook one-third of the show just to drive out of a one-strip, two hangar airport. If they were in New York’s JFK, they would take until the year after next. The people were as nice as they could be. Nicole, I think that kid was a bit underage for a threesome. ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/36 "2003-12-03T04:45:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*. . . Now, a really good show would be me, **Ukulele Ike, Gobear** and **Biggirl** trying to hold down a farm all by ourselves. \*\* I feel sorry for the livestock just thinking about it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chrisean14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b782af/32.png) [@Chrisean14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chrisean14)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/37 "2003-12-03T05:26:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by capacitor \* > \*\* > > Nicole, I think that kid was a bit underage for a threesome. \*\* 19, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/38 "2003-12-03T05:27:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by capacitor \* > **Nicole can’t walk with that dress at the beginning without showing her panties.** I was more a fan of Paris’s pants slipping as she got out of the truck and her not noticing and/or not caring about it. Curse you censors and your pixels. I wonder what this will do for the Hilton business. I guess no press is bad press. ---
**Author:** ![Astra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f14d63/32.png) [@Astra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astra)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/39 "2003-12-03T05:28:35Z")
It was actually about the last third - my clock must be fast, I wondered why it was taking so long for “24” to start. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578/40 "2003-12-03T06:08:50Z")
When Paris came back from the grocery store, for which she was wearing these absurdly low-rider pants, they had to blur out her exposed butt crack. I found that very amusing. Knorf [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-annoy-gadfly-the-paris-hilton-simple-life-thread/216578.md?page=3)