# Just to Clear Some Things Up... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 9, 2004, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724 "2004-09-09T02:45:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/21 "2004-09-09T14:29:11Z")
> [@Sisyphus' Stone](#): > > Or am I dithering? How can you possibly dither when Dopers in the New Jersey area aren’t even allowed to blather!? **Get some perspective, man!** ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/22 "2004-09-09T14:53:37Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Really, though, what if you were that one? The guy with the worst problems in the entire world? That would just suck now wouldn’t it? I think at the very least we should let him complain. That guy probably doesn’t have Internet access, so he’s probably not going to be posting much. > [@](#): > > Hey, Zeus, how can you tell someone they’re ‘flat-out’ wrong and not be discourteous? (Was that a triple negative?) “Having just finished my doctoral dissertation on the life cycle of the moebian flatworm, particularly in regards to their use in 17th century fiber arts, and, given the cites here, here,here and here, and based on the findings of the International Society of Flatworm Researchers, it’s apparent that they weren’t actually ever used as fuel for the Saturn V rockets. Perhaps you could provide a cite for your opinion?” ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/23 "2004-09-09T15:34:34Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. The world is divided into two kinds of people: those prepared to allow others to live their lives in peace, and those who know better and intend to reform those fools who don’t agree with you. This is not merely religious or political; it extends to such minutiae as musical taste or choices in recreation. You know what? Those of us who are usually laissez-faire may just accept your point of view long enough to force you to give up your preferences, since you seem disinclined to allow us ours. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the people of the world into two groups, and those who don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/24 "2004-09-09T15:41:28Z")
I appreciate the answers, everybody! **Ender** , **Ethelrist** stole my answer: The guy who does have it the worst, by an extension of Anselm’s Ontological Argument, clearly does not have Internet access, since if he did, it would be possible for someone to have all his problems plus lack of Internet access, and therefore be worse off than he. > [@vibrotronica](#): > > There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the people of the world into two groups, and those who don’t. There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary notation, and those who don’t! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/25 "2004-09-09T16:01:46Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > One more thing to clear up: > > The “Russian Siege Video” thread is not about a video that some Russians took of **Siege** and her new boyfriend. I had a feeling that thread title was going to haunt me. As usual, **Polycarp** has said all I need to say, but I will add one thing: you owe me an e-mail or a phone call, o Brother in Spirit! :Sigh!: How many more days until the election starts? :rolleyes: CJ (Beside, he’s Armenian, not Russian!) ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/26 "2004-09-09T16:04:31Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Nah, it’s the solid form of [polywater](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polywater_theory). Ptttttttttttttt!!! 😃 Now that’s funny! Oh, and **Poly** , solid OP. I think I agree entirely. Or do I? Actually, I was a little confused over the point of #1. But that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/27 "2004-09-09T16:11:17Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary notation, and those who don’t! 😛 OK, now I’m really wondering about you. You see, I heard that exact same joke made by **HJay** ’s best friend this past Monday, and, to add to the coincidence, you and he share the same first name. CJ ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/28 "2004-09-09T16:29:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Actually, I was a little confused over the point of #1. But that’s just me. The Master on [Le Petomane](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_394.html) and Moses (or the JEPD gang) on [Balaam and his talking ass](http://bible.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bible?language=english&passage=nm+22-24&version=KJV) (particularly beginning at Nm 22:28). ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/29 "2004-09-09T16:31:16Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > OK, now I’m really wondering about you. You see, I heard that exact same joke made by **HJay** ’s best friend this past Monday, and, to add to the coincidence, you and he share the same first name. > > CJ Me: “That’s the third most improbable event in the history of the Universe!” CJ: “What were the first two?” Me: “Probably just coincidence.” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/30 "2004-09-09T19:28:41Z")
My brother had a theory for a long time: no matter how bad your problems, things could be worse. You could have those same problems, AND he could be kicking you in the head. We called it his “kicking you in the head” theory. Then we read about an unfortunate lifeguard who drank a bottle of water in the lifeguard fridge, not noticing the label on the bottle that read, “DO NOT DRINK–JELLYFISH TENTACLES!!!” And we realized that if you drank jellyfish tentacles, nothing, not even being kicked in the head, could make the situation any worse. We call it our “drinking jellyfish tentacles” theory. So, unless you’ve just drunk jellyfish tentacles, quit yer bitchin. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/31 "2004-09-09T19:57:31Z")
**But** , if you just drank jellyfish tentacles, and you still have the presence of mind to bitch about the person who cut you off in traffic, go for it. You’ve earned it. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/32 "2004-09-09T20:01:00Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > My brother had a theory for a long time: no matter how bad your problems, things could be worse. You could have those same problems, AND he could be kicking you in the head. We called it his “kicking you in the head” theory. George Carlin has a similar routine, but things are made worse by adding a headache. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/33 "2004-09-09T20:09:15Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > My brother had a theory for a long time: no matter how bad your problems, things could be worse. You could have those same problems, AND he could be kicking you in the head. We called it his “kicking you in the head” theory. > > Then we read about an unfortunate lifeguard who drank a bottle of water in the lifeguard fridge, not noticing the label on the bottle that read, “DO NOT DRINK–JELLYFISH TENTACLES!!!” And we realized that if you drank jellyfish tentacles, nothing, not even being kicked in the head, could make the situation any worse. We call it our “drinking jellyfish tentacles” theory. > > So, unless you’ve just drunk jellyfish tentacles, quit yer bitchin. > > Daniel Bah, that’s just a ripoff of George Carlin’s “plus-a-headache” formula. No matter how bad things are for you, they can always be just a little bit worse if you also have a headache. “His wife left him for his mother, his kids got run over by a cement mixer, and he has AIDS. Plus, he has a headache.” ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/34 "2004-09-09T20:13:48Z")
I would cry simupost, but **5que** beat me by eight minutes. I just _knew_ I should have finished posting before I got back to work! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/35 "2004-09-09T20:17:41Z")
Could be worse. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/36 "2004-09-09T20:21:03Z")
Yeah, I could have a headache. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724/37 "2004-09-09T20:37:06Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Yeah, I could have a headache. And… it could be raining. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-to-clear-some-things-up/263724.md?page=1)