# Just what is unrealistic about porn? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 16, 2015, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302 "2015-07-16T05:52:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Vera98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Vera98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vera98)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/1 "2015-07-16T05:52:59Z")
I’m 24 with limited sexual experience. I keep hearing about how porn creates unrealistic expectations, esp. for men. Now, I know that everything is staged and airbrushed. Obviously the plot is unrealistic. I don’t think most people have sex with the pizza delivery guy. Nor do they often have in candle-lit rooms or on marble staircases. Now, as for body image; well, these days many women around the world have plastic surgery, men who are well-endowed and both women and men of all ages work on their fitness. Many people buy sex toys. So, what is really so unrealistic? I mean there many mainstream Hollywood movies and TV shows that are unrealistic in portrayal of emotional aspect of relationships, especially when they pretend that’s how it is in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/2 "2015-07-16T06:10:55Z")
The lack of lube. The lack of clumsiness. Women allowing men to insert cocks into pussy, ass, and mouth in sequence without a thorough cleaning in between. Doing tons of crazy shit without negotiating. Infinite, instant readiness on the part of both genders. Flexibility levels. Endurance levels. Lack of scars. Sex in stilettos without difficulty. Penis size starting with largish and going up from there. Never a hurt feeling. Rarely a condom. Women tolerating being slapped in the face and called bitches. Every white chick lusting for black dick. Black men accepting being called niggers just 'cause they’re getting blown. That’s off the top of my head. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/3 "2015-07-16T06:16:28Z")
> [@Vera98](#): > > . . . Obviously the plot is unrealistic. **I don’t think most people have sex with the pizza delivery guy.**. . . . At least one of the demographic audiences for porn consists of _those_ guys – you know, the ones who never seem able to make it with the ladies. You’ve seen their threads here. Porn offers them the fantasy that it’s really really easy to get laid. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/4 "2015-07-16T06:23:46Z")
Mechanical clockwork sex, position A to B etc. Having sex in areas and positions easily filmed. Women moaning with every thurst, screaming orgasms. Women enjoying ejaculate in the face. Hairless bodies, body types, ubiquitous plastic surgery, penises claimed to be larger than the largest ever documented. It goes on an on, and of course some people do enjoy or do these things but it is the aggregate. Porn is to real sex as a cop drama is to real police work. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/5 "2015-07-16T06:35:36Z")
Was listening to Nikki Sixx’s radio show one night and the subject of porn came up. He says he won’t watch it with his much younger wife because porn creates unrealistic expectations and he’ll suffer in comparison, both size wise and stamina wise. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/6 "2015-07-16T06:44:54Z")
On the other hand there is more kissing in real sex than in porn. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/7 "2015-07-16T06:46:37Z")
The belief that every woman is bisexual. No woman in porn ever turned down a threesome because she either wasn’t into men or women. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/8 "2015-07-16T07:48:43Z")
People rip off sometimes very expensive clothes, nobody takes the 15 seconds it takes to remove properly. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/9 "2015-07-16T08:29:49Z")
In terms of realism probably porn made for straight women is first, then porn for gay men, then porn for straight men last (I haven’t seen much real lesbian porn and don’t for sure know what realistic lesbian sex is like, so I can’t comment on that). At the risk of hijacking, it would be interesting to speculate on why. I would start by saying that gay porn tends to be more realistic than straight because many gay men have experienced being in both “roles”, so you can’t have one person in the scene just fulfilling the fantasies of the other person / people. Also, frankly, with more penises around it’s more difficult for everyone to stay hard so there are often a few shots left in the edit where (like real life), someone is not fully hard for a moment. * * * To answer the OP more directly though, I’d say everything people have already said, plus more kissing, looking into each other’s eyes, stroking hair etc, all the nice stuff. Not a close up shot of the train going into the tunnel, that’s something you never see if you’re 1 on 1 (and TBH I don’t really get why this exists in porn…more than 30 contiguous seconds just showing that is so boring to me). ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/10 "2015-07-16T11:10:43Z")
> [@grude](#): > > … Women moaning with every thurst … Great typo. 🙂 Maybe we can get “thurst” going as a new slang term for really, really wanting it. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/11 "2015-07-16T11:57:56Z")
Among the unrealistic expectations that can be created by watching porn: - penis size - how beautiful or endowed etc. your sex partners should or will be - how easy it is to get someone to agree to sex - how long a sexual encounter can last - how flexible the average person is - whether another person will enjoy certain acts, such as being spat on, slapped, spanked, choked, called names, pushed around, engaging in group sex, etc. - how a person should or will vocalize through moans or speaking - how often and how easily a woman will climax The biggest thing to know about porn is that it takes approximately an entire day to shoot one scene and they use a lot of lubrication and by the end they’re usually sore. And the men are on Viagra or using a similar drug that’s injected directly into the penis with a syringe. More resources: > **[Things In Every Porn You Should Never Do In Real Life](https://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-in-every-porn-you-should-never-do-in-real-life)** > > These fallacies have shown up on screen so often, people have started thinking those bizarre little porn tropes are what sex is. > **[The 5 Parts of Sex Porn Doesn't Prepare You For](https://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-parts-sex-porn-doesnt-prepare-you-for)** > > Let me take off these slacks and take you on a journey through all the sexual quagmires porn can't get you ready for. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/12 "2015-07-16T12:01:34Z")
Porn is giving generations of women unrealistic, damaging ingrained expectations regarding how promptly they can get a pizza delivery guy or cable TV installer to arrive, and the real world will prove disappointing to them. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/13 "2015-07-16T12:13:19Z")
In Porn, you look at your preferred gender… and you see a hot, sexy person with a nice personality that truly wants to have sex for their own enjoyment… because they are Totally Into who they are with. You Never look closely at the person they are having sex with & think to yourself, “…well, I guess that I’d have to look a whole lot better than that for this to ever happen that way. You know… 6% body fat, 6-pack stomach, starvation-ribs on the sides… LOTS of money… oh and 22 years old, maybe 24 Max. Now, where did I put that magic wand?” ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/14 "2015-07-16T12:28:14Z")
A few years ago I heard an interview with Jenna Jameson (I think). The interviewer asked her what her favorite position was, at home, with her husband. Without even thinking she said something like “missionary or me on top, just something boring”. The interviewer was surprised and asked her why and she said that laying and her side with her leg up in the air and the guy behind her (or just about anything else you’d see in porn) is not only uncomfortable bit not really any fun for either person, hard to “stay in” and no one can feel anything in those strange positions. Also, IRL, most people just don’t look like that. It’s like thinking that thinking that if you buy clothes at Abercrombie and Fitch you’ll like like those guys standing in the windows (that are surprisingly lacking in Abercrombie and Fitch clothes). I mean, it’s different because they’re not advertising, but you can’t get into the mindset that the only girl worth dating is one with huge tits that’ll give you a blowjob, have sex with you for 40 minutes (which you can’t do) and then let you finish on her face. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/15 "2015-07-16T12:59:40Z")
Not much to add here, except that the actors are young, good looking, and sream and moan a lot. Question: those 'erotic massage" clips; what is that oily stuff that the masseuse spreads over the body? It looks like some kind of aloe. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/16 "2015-07-16T13:28:08Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Not much to add here, except that the actors are young, good looking, and sream and moan a lot. Question: those 'erotic massage" clips; what is that oily stuff that the masseuse spreads over the body? um, oil? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/17 "2015-07-16T13:33:59Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > Porn is giving generations of women unrealistic, damaging ingrained expectations regarding how promptly they can get a pizza delivery guy or cable TV installer to arrive, and the real world will prove disappointing to them. This made me laugh out loud. > [@Joey\_P](#): > > um, oil? I’ve read that it’s usually coconut oil, since in the sort of quantities we’re talking about (and being left on for six hours during shooting) most other oils will cause skin issues. Also, I assume he meant _masseur_. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/18 "2015-07-16T13:36:20Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Not much to add here, except that the actors are young, good looking, and sream and moan a lot. Question: those 'erotic massage" clips; what is that oily stuff that the masseuse spreads over the body? It looks like some kind of aloe. Depending on how far in to the clip you are, that may not be oil. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/19 "2015-07-16T13:44:00Z")
The lights are always on. I mean, really! Who does that?! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/20 "2015-07-16T13:49:22Z")
Porn is sexual - not sensual. The only erotic zone is in the mind and in the real world if you don’t feel an erotic attraction to your partner, then at best there will be a brief sexual connection. Followed by disappointment. Or no connection at all. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302.md?page=2)