# Just what is unrealistic about porn? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 16, 2015, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302 "2015-07-16T05:52:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/81 "2015-07-17T17:21:24Z")
> [@Vera98](#): > > Yes. But, I have another question. Like I wrote in my op, do you agree that the way relationships are portrayed in mainstream films and TV shows is unrealistic? I’m not only referring to romantic relationships but also to parent-child relationships and friendships? I think romantic relationships in mainstream TV and film are absolutely unrealistic. In fact, ironically enough, I was talking to my wife about one of her TV shows that I hate (Grey’s Anatomy) a while back, and I called it “feelings porn.” Much as porn shows improbably proportioned people doing improbable stuff in the bedroom, romantic dramas feature people saying improbably scripted-sounding and timely stuff at moments of high conflict or drama. It creates an unrealistic expectation of what your real-life significant other is going to say when he accidentally forgot your anniversary. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/82 "2015-07-17T17:26:15Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > people shouldn’t cite either of Linda Lovelace’s books. Not one person who worked on those films agreed with her claim that she was being raped. There was no doubt that her boyfriend _Chuck Traynor_ was abusive to her and coerced her into doing porn, but that has nothing to do with the other actors, director or crew. I’m having a hard time seeing that as much better than rape, ethically speaking. I don’t disagree that her story isn’t necessarily typical of porn actresses at the time or today (though it isn’t necessarily atypical either). I’m sure some people have bad experiences, depending in part on era and on which segment of the industry they work in. Some people have good experiences. Some people are motivated to misremember – positively or negatively – their experiences, or to obfuscate or dissemble. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/83 "2015-07-17T17:28:03Z")
> [@Vera98](#): > > Yes. But, I have another question. Like I wrote in my op, do you agree that the way relationships are portrayed in mainstream films and TV shows is unrealistic? I’m not only referring to romantic relationships but also to parent-child relationships and friendships? Since you mention romantic relationships, and since JohnClay mentioned the Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie _ **Don Jon** _, I thought I’d point out the uniquely interesting “moral” of that movie. In _ **Don Jon** _, the guy is shown to be highly immature because of his addiction to porn, and he has to learn that REAL love is nothing like porn, and that he has to give up his pornographic fantasies if he’s ever going to have a real relationship. So far, so conventional. But what’s NOT so conventional is that Scarlett Johanson’s character, whose head is filled with romantic fantasies (fueled by hundreds of chick flicks and bodice-ripping novels) is ALSO shown to be immature. SHE needs to grow up too, and learn that her romantic fantasies are no more realistic than the guy’s sexual fantasies, that a REAL relationship is no more like a Harlequin romance than it is like a Jenna Jameson film. Women often complain, justly, that porn gives men dangerously wrong ideas about love. But few movies or books ever dare ask whether WOMEN’S fantasies aren’t every bit as unrealistic and dangerous. No, of COURSE Jenna Jameson isn’t a “real” woman. But Fabio and Christian Grey aren’t real men, either. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/84 "2015-07-17T17:29:05Z")
> [@Vera98](#): > > do you agree that the way relationships are portrayed in mainstream films and TV shows is unrealistic? I’m not only referring to romantic relationships but also to parent-child relationships and friendships? Sure. If real life relationships were that interesting as a whole, they wouldn’t take “reality” television and chop up and edit the happenings all to hell to artificially create drama and interest. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/85 "2015-07-17T17:41:06Z")
> [@lalaith](#): > > When you’re talking about plastic surgery in the context of porn, it’s boob jobs. > > The average natural breast size in the US was a B cup (pre-common-boob jobs and when obesity levels were lower – Cecil even [even wrote a column on it](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/77/am-i-imagining-or-are-womens-breasts-getting-bigger)). But, from what I’ve seen of porn that’s **not** the average breast size. You’d be wrong. [Somebody](http://jezebel.com/5985139/everything-you-thought-you-new-about-female-porn-stars-is-probably-wrong) actually ran the numbers. The average breast size of porn stars is 34B. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/86 "2015-07-17T17:46:24Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > You’d be wrong. [Somebody](http://jezebel.com/5985139/everything-you-thought-you-new-about-female-porn-stars-is-probably-wrong) actually ran the numbers. The average breast size of porn stars is 34B. Obviously all those barely legal teens skewing the average. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/87 "2015-07-17T18:23:58Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Obviously all those barely legal teens skewing the average. In the documentary (available on Netflix) _Hot Girls Wanted_, they address this. If the ‘barely legal teen’ actually lasts a few years instead of washing out, they are better off getting the boob job. It just doesn’t sell in that particular niche. For those who might want to watch, I thought it was ok. To steal a line from a reviewer, it doesn’t shine a spotlight on the industry, more like a porchlight. ---
**Author:** ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/88 "2015-07-17T20:04:13Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > You’d be wrong. [Somebody](http://jezebel.com/5985139/everything-you-thought-you-new-about-female-porn-stars-is-probably-wrong) actually ran the numbers. The average breast size of porn stars is 34B. Unless I’m misreading, that’s not the average, that’s the mode. I’d be curious about the median and mean. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/89 "2015-07-17T21:05:11Z")
> [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](#): > > I’m having a hard time seeing that as much better than rape, ethically speaking. She was claiming, in _Ordeal_: “Everyone that watches “Deep Throat” is watching me being raped" Unless she’s claiming there is such a thing as “rape by proxy”. None of the other actors in the film believed she was there other than willingly. They did believe Chuck Traynor was a jerk, and the director found that the only way to get a good performance was to make sure Traynor was not on the set. Then, she was friendly, happy and enthusiastic. Claiming that everyone involved in the film, a low-budget film that wound up making, by some estimates as much as _Titanic_ (which was stolen by the films Mafia backers). None of the other actors, the director or any of the crew has ever, to my knowledge, supported Linda’s claim. And before she left porn and fell in with a bunch of anti-porn activists, she had stated in numerous interviews that she was doing this entirely of her own volition. And in the two books she wrote (or had ghost-written) during the 70s. > [@](#): > > I don’t disagree that her story isn’t necessarily typical of porn actresses at the time or today (though it isn’t necessarily atypical either). I’m sure some people have bad experiences, depending in part on era and on which segment of the industry they work in. Some people have good experiences. Some people are motivated to misremember – positively or negatively – their experiences, or to obfuscate or dissemble. …or if they only got paid a few thousand for a film which made hundreds of millions, and that money was taken by Chuck Traynor. The weird part is that, post-Linda, Traynor was married for ten years to Marilyn Chambers. Either he mellowed quite a bit, he was not the monster Linda claimed or Chambers also sought out an abuser. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/90 "2015-07-17T21:07:08Z")
> [@GoodOmens](#): > > Unless I’m misreading, that’s not the average, that’s the mode. I’d be curious about the median and mean. Yeah, sounds like the numbers are skewed by a few quadruple-F pairs. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/91 "2015-07-18T00:07:34Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > …At the risk of hijacking, it would be interesting to speculate on why. > I would start by saying that gay porn tends to be more realistic than straight because many gay men have experienced being in both “roles”, so you can’t have one person in the scene just fulfilling the fantasies of the other person / people… Straight guys are far, _far_ less likely in real have sex with another man in real life than in porn. Then there’s the external ejaculation thing Jophiel mentioned; I’ve not had that happen in real life, at least not on purpose. We got caught and my partner reflexively tried to stand up and ended up cumming on my forehead. :o ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/92 "2015-07-18T00:13:42Z")
Someone on another board said, “I love 70s porn. Silicone-free and nobody shaved a damn thing!” 😃 🆒 I saw something on Facebook (!) that included, in the list, “Asian men do not exist.” Interesting concept, unless you’re into all-Asian porn, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/93 "2015-07-18T01:18:48Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I saw something on Facebook (!) that included, in the list, “Asian men do not exist.” Interesting concept, unless you’re into all-Asian porn, I guess. I was hanging out at a friend’s video store, and a black customer came in, trying to find some all-black porn. Tons of interracial porn in stock, mostly white women with black men, and fewer black women with white men, but no films featuring black men and women. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/94 "2015-07-18T01:20:37Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Someone on another board said, “I love 70s porn. Silicone-free and nobody shaved a damn thing!” 😃 🆒 The problem is that '70s porn is all withdrawal, almost always ending in a facial. > [@](#): > > I saw something on Facebook (!) that included, in the list, “Asian men do not exist.” Interesting concept, unless you’re into all-Asian porn, I guess. There’s almost nothing that doesn’t exist in some porn genre. There’s almost no such thing as “mainstream” porn any more. Everything is a fetish of some kind. So there’s definitely Asian man/white woman porn. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/95 "2015-07-18T01:20:48Z")
Porn vids generally end before the cleanup. Real sex is messy, can get queefy or farty depending on the hole. You will not always get off every single time in real life. Boners die sometimes. You might try a position and can’t really get the angle right because the bed is too low/high and have to switch it up semi-awkwardly. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/96 "2015-07-18T01:21:52Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Straight guys are far, _far_ less likely in real have sex with another man in real life than in porn. Then there’s the external ejaculation thing Jophiel mentioned; I’ve not had that happen in real life, at least not on purpose. I’m straight, but I understand one of the most popular gay porn sub-genres is “gay for pay”, straight-identified performers having sex with other men. ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/97 "2015-07-18T01:44:18Z")
It’s not real? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/98 "2015-07-18T01:47:43Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > _The Breast Wing?_ > > _Charlie Wilson’s Whore?_ > > _Stripclub 60 on the Sunset Strip?_ > > _A Few Good Women?_ _Splorts Night_ ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/99 "2015-07-18T01:51:14Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > There’s almost nothing that doesn’t exist in some porn genre. There’s almost no such thing as “mainstream” porn any more. Everything is a fetish of some kind. > > So there’s definitely Asian man/white woman porn. Oh, I know that. There’s something for everyone out there. When I was in college (early 1990s), I worked with a straight guy who had a lesbian roommate, and one night, he came home and she and her butch friends were all watching a lesbian porno movie. First of all, he asked me if women ever got together to watch porn like men sometimes do (see footnote), and then told me that he had no idea that there was such a thing as lesbian porn. I told him, “Hey, if people do it, someone’s filmed it!” Footnote: I never have, but I’ve had friends who did, but not to get off or anything. They would give it the MST3K treatment, watch it on fast forward, things like that. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302/100 "2015-07-20T14:02:54Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > She was claiming, in _Ordeal_: > > “Everyone that watches “Deep Throat” is watching me being raped" > > Unless she’s claiming there is such a thing as “rape by proxy”. Isn’t there? I’m not going to argue about whether _Ordeal_ is true. But I’m not going to say “even if it is true, she shouldn’t have used such strong language.” Expanding on that would be a derail; if you want to ask in IMHO or GD what my thoughts are I’d be happy to discuss it there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-what-is-unrealistic-about-porn/725302.md?page=6)