# Just When I Thought Lawn Ornaments Had Bottomed-Out **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458 "2003-11-15T19:47:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/21 "2003-11-17T13:11:55Z")
I have this neighbor who packs their yard with terrifying kitsch for every conceivable holiday. They must spend a couple grand _every year_ just on decorating the house. So of course they have several of these monstrosities proudly displayed. For Halloween, they had an 8-foot Frankenstein’s monster on their roof. How they got it up there I do not know, but a few days before Halloween there was a massive windstorm here and the thing came loose from its moorings and started blowing down the street. _An 8-foot-tall Frankenstein’s monster sailing down the street._ It’s a miracle there wasn’t a huge accident caused by drivers trying to get out of the thing’s flight path. I don’t know what eventually happened to Frankie, but right now they have a huge inflatable turkey on the porch and red and yellow lights strung all over the house. ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/22 "2003-11-17T14:51:58Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\* And the local Shop Rite and Rite Aid (can no one spell “Right” anymore?)_\* Oh, come now, Eve - you’re a copyeditor, you know full well that it’s not an error. It’s just part of the gigantic Masonic satanic conspiracy. O r maybe it’s Shriners, I can never tell the difference. ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/23 "2003-11-17T14:54:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > [B(can no one spell “Right” anymore?) \*\* You should say, “Can no one spell _correctly_ anymore?” 😉 \<\<…begins inflating 8 foot tall balloon grammar nazi.\>\> ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/24 "2003-11-17T15:35:50Z")
Inflatable Carrot Topp! Boy, that would keep the JW’s away, I bet. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/25 "2003-11-17T16:44:15Z")
Those Grannys bending over are hot. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/26 "2003-11-17T17:24:03Z")
I want the singing ass wiggling Santa Claus I saw at Fred’s Discount Store. He sings 15 different Christmas favorites! And ass wiggles while doing it! But wait! There’s more! He comes with a microphone. You plug the microphone into Santa (it didn’t say where and I didn’t look) and he’ll ass wiggle while you sing! It don’t get no better than that! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/27 "2003-11-17T17:32:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > **Re: Just When I Thought Lawn Ornaments Had Bottomed-Out** Ever been to the other side of New York state, specifically the beautifulBuffalo suburb of [Cheektowaga](http://www.cyburbia.org/gallery/showgallery.php?cat=6147&ppuser=1)? ---
**Author:** ![lovelyluka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f475e1/32.png) [@lovelyluka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lovelyluka)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/28 "2003-11-17T17:42:14Z")
Our Wal-Mart has a giant inflatable Tennessee Titan. And my roommate wants one for Christmas ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/29 "2003-11-17T18:11:13Z")
I’ve seen in store available now, giant inflatable Snoopy’s dog house, decorated for Christmas as he does in the Christmas special but Snoopy himself is sitting on the dog house in his WWI flyers get up, which he does not do in the Chirstmas special. Why this is for sale in the Party City in may area of Brooklyn where most people live in apartments and don’t have any sort of yard to put a yard ornament in is really puzzling. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/30 "2003-11-17T19:06:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ratty \* > \*\*… a few days before Halloween there was a massive windstorm here and the thing came loose from its moorings and started blowing down the street. _An 8-foot-tall Frankenstein’s monster sailing down the street._ It’s a miracle there wasn’t a huge accident caused by drivers trying to get out of the thing’s flight path. > > I don’t know what eventually happened to Frankie, but right now they have a huge inflatable turkey on the porch and red and yellow lights strung all over the house. \*\* Imagine the scene if another windstorm crops up. “As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” I’m waiting to see if those damn white wireframe lightup reindeer will still populate the neighborhood this year. If they do, I swear I’m going to sneak around nights and instigate some displays of sweet reindeer lovin’. Juvenile and overdone, I know. I hate those things. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/31 "2003-11-17T19:08:37Z")
Heh, my neighbor had one of those inflatable “ghost leaping out from behind pumpkins” this halloween. I don’t know what whoever designed that thing was thinking, but the two little round jack o’ lanterns combined with a big, long ghost just looks a little too much like a penis and testicles. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/32 "2003-11-17T19:27:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mama Tiger \* > \*\*Last year we drove around to see Christmas lights, and came across one family that had built an entire manger scene in their yard – complete with open shed-type stable – with a whole procession of wooden cutout animals marching up to adore the baby Jesus lying in his manger, being gazed at adoringly by… > Santa Claus. > > There IS justifiable homicide in Louisiana, I understand. 😃 \*\* I take it then then you’ve never seen [A Tuna Christmas](http://www.greatertuna.com/atc/tunaxmas.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/33 "2003-11-17T19:31:24Z")
[Link](http://www.greatertuna.com/atc/tunaxmas.htm), corrected. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/34 "2003-11-17T23:45:04Z")
> [@](#): > > An 8-foot inflatable nativity. _I don’t care if it rains or freezes Long as I got my blow-up Jesus_ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/35 "2003-11-18T01:53:05Z")
Hey, when is " Safe Sex Day"? Then I can inflate a giant dildo and blow up doll in my front yard. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/36 "2003-11-18T01:55:14Z")
I’m thinking of thinking outside the tub…box that is. And doing a bathtub buddha. Heeeee. But, I’d pay good money for an 8ft high infatible yard gnome or fat lady bending over. Now, that’s some classy sheit. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/37 "2003-11-18T06:32:05Z")
I pass by a house everyday on the way to work that has a bunch of bric-a-brac stuff they left up after a kid’s birthday party. Guess they decided to add to it for Halloween. Not sure what they’ve done for Christmas, I’ve been trying to tune it out lately. But the centerpiece of this lawn nightmare is an eight-foot inflatable Incredible Hulk. I guess it looked cool and menacing to the kid when they first put it up. But it just looks sad as the legs have deflated and look withered. Poor Paraplegic Hulk, I wish I could find a wheelchair to scale to help him out. All that rage and nowhere to go smash! ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/38 "2003-11-18T13:25:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Now the Thanksgiving crap is out: mostly huge inflated turkeys (dressed up as pilgrims, in a last-ditch, desperate effort to avoid being killed and eaten). \*\* Domestic turkeys are far too stupid to pull that ploy; wild turkeys aren’t in season. It’s probably a fashion thing. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/39 "2003-11-18T13:32:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Master Wang-Ka \* > \*\*If I EVER saw a seven foot inflatable Cthulhu for sale, I’d buy it. > > Santa hat or no Santa hat. \*\* Somebody is _lusting_ after you, **DreadCthulhu**! 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![HDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@HDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HDS)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458/40 "2003-11-18T13:52:03Z")
> [@](#): > > An 8-foot-tall Frankenstein’s monster sailing down the street. It’s a miracle there wasn’t a huge accident caused by drivers trying to get out of the thing’s flight path. Hee, this remind anyone else of Mr. Stay-Puft from Ghostbusters? They ever make that an inflatable, it’s going in my yard. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-i-thought-lawn-ornaments-had-bottomed-out/213458.md?page=3)