# Just when you think Republicans can't get any more fuckheaded **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 6, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897 "2004-10-06T19:05:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/61 "2004-10-07T20:31:55Z")
There’s no surprise in this. Any man who doesn’t understand the First Amendment isn’t likely to understand voter bribery laws. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/62 "2004-10-07T20:33:10Z")
> [@griffen2](#): > > And what’s unworkable about having private firefighters? You see a fire, you call them, they put it out, the owner of the property pays. You might want to look into the early history of New York City, when firehouses _were_ privately run. A free market is competitive by nature. When firefighters were privately financed, shit burned to the ground a lot more – because firefighters were more concerned with assuring their continued prosperity by preventing other houses from responding or with making sure that they were going to be paid before beginning to fight the fire than they were with protecting people and their property. “Oh, you don’t have a contract with us? Why would we risk our necks to save your shop?” or “Get away from that fireplug! Johnson’s Fire Dept was here first-- I’m their representative and _we’re_ fighting this fire. Our ladder truck should be here in another twenty minutes or so. You get _yours_ the hell away from here.” ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/63 "2004-10-07T21:12:50Z")
> [@griffen2](#): > > I don’t see why police protection can’t be provided privately. You could buy it like insurance or pay when you use it, depending on the circumstances. So people who can afford it are protected and those who can’t aren’t. Brilliant! I was just thinking the other day why the U.S. couldn’t be more like the Middle Ages or Afganistan. The world certainly does not have enought private militias, assassins, and utter chaos. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/64 "2004-10-07T21:16:00Z")
> [@TitoBenito](#): > > So people who can afford it are protected and those who can’t aren’t. So what’s different about that than we have right now? OJ Simpson could afford protection from the very law itself. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/65 "2004-10-07T21:20:00Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > **Reeder** and **Equipoise** are alright with me. They’re alright with me too. ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/66 "2004-10-08T01:54:55Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > So what’s different about that than we have right now? OJ Simpson could afford protection from the very law itself. Yeah but at least O.J. doesn’t have his own Police force to go around stabbing people for him. At least not that I know of. ---
**Author:** ![stockton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@stockton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stockton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/67 "2004-10-08T02:48:37Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > That’s because you don’t work at a nonprofit that sees the mentally ill not being able to get needed help because there’s no money from local government because they didn’t get allocations from the state because they didn’t get allocations from the feds because Bush took “less of your money away.” Can you please tell **Bricker** exactly how much of his workday he needs to work for free to supply your nonprofit with the necessary funds? I figure I’m on the clock from 8am until about noon paying for other people’s shit - food, housing, etc… The afternoon is all mine, baby. Really, his post was completely relevant and insightful. It IS a topic worthy of considering: How MUCH of my paycheck goes straight to folks that aren’t my wife or kids or mortgage broker or landlord? Why so much? Not worthy of discussion because you see folks that need help? Not good enough. FTR, I’m campaigning hard for the Democratic challenger. I just think I give up a hell of a lot of money that I earn because I have to. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/68 "2004-10-08T03:13:55Z")
> [@Evil Death](#): > > I hate to say it, but for once the Republicans have a case. > > If a candidate or his representative gives you $10 in exchange for agreeing to vote in November, you are more likely to vote for the guy who gave you the ten bucks because he gave you ten bucks for doing next to nothing and the other candidates didn’t. That’s why the statute prohibits candidates et al offering recompense to someone in exchange for their voting for a candidate of their own choice, as opposed to in exchange for voting specifically for one candidate. > > Moore’s not specifically rewarding people for voting Kerry, but by asking them to vote Kerry he’s made it clear that his encouraging them to vote is being done on Kerry’s behalf. This most definitely puts him in violation of the statute in question. I’m a democrat, and I like Moore, but I have to agree with this. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/69 "2004-10-08T03:19:36Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > For us latin impaired folk, what does that mean? There once was a lawyer named Rex With a very small organ of sex. When charged with exposure, He replied with composure: “_De minimus non curat lex._” ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/70 "2004-10-08T04:15:38Z")
Just for the record, and to be technically accurate, is in fact not possible for the Republicans to be any more fuckheaded. When you are 100% of something, it isn’t possible to be any more. Just fyi. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/71 "2004-10-08T14:26:18Z")
The point, though, is this isn’t ten dollars. It’s a pack of ramen noodles (he gave two to one guy when I saw him speak) or a three-pack of underwear that probably isn’t the right size. It’s not a gift in any significant respect - it’s a joke. Granted, the majority (though not all) of the audience when the Slacker Uprising Tour came to my school was democrats, and people who register thus probably will be voting for Kerry, the “gift” was simply not of any value whatsoever. It was a joke. A funny, funny joke from a guy who’s built a career out of being funny. And, working for Michigan’s government (and having two parents who do so as well) I can tell you that the Republican party here has a tradition of being particularly partisan and pigheaded, and they’re really having a hard time wrestling with our Democratic governor - she’s cute, popular, well-liked, and they can’t attack her too hard without looking like jerks. So it doesn’t surprise me if they’re getting desperate. And there’s a long, glorious tradition of playing Detroit against the entire rest of the state; the comment about suppressing the Detroit vote ought to have shocked me when I first heard in from my political science professor, but it didn’t. This is the way they do business in Michigan. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/72 "2004-10-08T14:44:43Z")
I think the ideal Republican response to this would be to pack the speaking halls with young Republicans who get called up on stage and say, “I’m voting for Bush. **Give me my fucking underpants**.” Moore suddenly finds himself in a no-win situation. Of course, having a sense of humor, he’s likely to insult them good-naturedly and give them some fucking underpants. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/73 "2004-10-08T15:48:01Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > I think the ideal Republican response to this would be to pack the speaking halls with young Republicans who get called up on stage and say, “I’m voting for Bush. **Give me my fucking underpants**.” > > Moore suddenly finds himself in a no-win situation. Of course, having a sense of humor, he’s likely to insult them good-naturedly and give them some fucking underpants. Though being Republicans, they’re unlikely to be in need of fucking underpants. Regular underpants will do. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/74 "2004-10-08T15:58:20Z")
> [@Gobear](#): > > It also means that you are taking money away from public transportation, libraries, hospitals, schools, the police, the firefighters, the military, and so on. Uh huh. And a reduction in crime means you are taking money away from muggers, thieves, pickpockets, and bank robbers. ---
**Author:** ![Monocracy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monocracy/32/4493_2.png) [@Monocracy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monocracy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/75 "2004-10-08T23:08:33Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Uh huh. And a reduction in crime means you are taking money away from muggers, thieves, pickpockets, and bank robbers. The major difference being that police, schools, military, public transportation, etc. are in place to insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, and/or promote the general welfare of the people of the United States. I doubt you could say the same about muggers and thieves. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/76 "2004-10-09T00:20:57Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Moore suddenly finds himself in a no-win situation. Of course, having a sense of humor, he’s likely to insult them good-naturedly and give them some fucking underpants. Moore has never demonstrated anything except a sense of entitlement to his outrage. If this happened, I bet you a million dollars\* that we’d be in for a screed as to how the Republicans were conspiring to disrupt his prophaganda session. Good humor from Moore about Republicans? He’s more likely to make a lighthearted bon mot about fucking children. What planet do you live on? \*A hypothetical million. Wagering is against board rules. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/77 "2004-10-09T00:43:29Z")
> [@Monocracy](#): > > The major difference being that police, schools, military, public transportation, etc. are in place to insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, and/or promote the general welfare of the people of the United States. I doubt you could say the same about muggers and thieves. Wow, nice delurk. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/78 "2004-10-09T01:18:31Z")
> [@Weirddave](#): > > \*A hypothetical million. Wagering is against board rules. I missed that rule, and have been in violation of it - without being warned, ever. Where was it posted? ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/79 "2004-10-09T01:59:59Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I missed that rule, and have been in violation of it - without being warned, ever. Where was it posted? I’m sorry, Citizen, but that information requires Ultraviolet clearance. Please report to the the nearest Clone Reapportionment and Soylent Distribution Center for debriefing. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897/80 "2004-10-09T04:14:35Z")
> [@Weirddave](#): > > Moore has never demonstrated anything except a sense of entitlement to his outrage. If this happened, I bet you a million dollars\* that we’d be in for a screed as to how the Republicans were conspiring to disrupt his prophaganda session. Good humor from Moore about Republicans? He’s more likely to make a lighthearted bon mot about fucking children. What planet do you live on? The one where I said he’d **insult the guy** (albeit goodnaturedly, in the same way he goodnaturedly did an “L for Loser” sign on his forehead to Republicans at another event while grinning ear to ear) and give him some fucking underpants. Disrupting the propaganda session? **Of course that would be the point**. That’s why I’m saying some Republicans should do it. Look. Moore is a clown, and if you deal with him, you join the circus. There are two ways you can join the circus: 1. You can pretend you’re not a clown. This is the Keystone Kops approach, and you don’t come off looking very good in it. 2. You can outfool the fool. Go on stage, and force him to play your game in public, and make him concede to you. I happen to think he’ll concede while grinningly insulting the shit out of the person who forces the concession, but maybe if you’re lucky, he’ll blow his shit–and then you’ve completely won. Read carefully, please. I’m no fan of Moore, and the advice I give would help Republicans counter him better. Daniel [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-when-you-think-republicans-cant-get-any-more-fuckheaded/267897.md?page=5)