# Just why the hell are people so damn sexual? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 20, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882 "2001-09-20T21:28:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dale\_The\_Bold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dale\_The\_Bold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_The_Bold)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/1 "2001-09-20T21:28:32Z")
I remember reading about Freud and thinking about how crazy he was to apply sexuality to everything. Then I see it in our culture and the main motivation for a lot of people as they set out on a “quest” for sex. Why not just settle for chocolate or something else good. Why be so damn sexual? Sex is kind of gross. People’s bodies essentially produce bad smells. The sweat glands that produce “BO” basically go into overdrive. Also, it creates a mess that isn’t pleasant to clean up, so what’s so appealing? I’d rather golf, or ski. And I’m not into golfing and skiing. (I’m 26, so I’m not a ‘kid’ either). Regardless of sexual orientation, people are jumping in the sack with friends or strangers with no feelings other than some desire for sexual gratification. Isn’t this a little demeaning? Why do this? They could just go to their room alone, y’know. Don’t these people have hands? Why not just go for self-gratification? It’s instant, it doesn’t come with and “baggage” and chances of disease or unwanted pregnacy are eliminated. Is there a rule book I never got, or are people just that weird? Don’t flame me, I’m trying to ask a legitimate question here. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/2 "2001-09-20T21:32:35Z")
Still a virgin, eh? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/3 "2001-09-20T21:38:11Z")
Biologically, sex is the only reason we’re here. ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/4 "2001-09-20T21:41:24Z")
Because there wouldn’t be people here to be sexual if we weren’t. ---
**Author:** ![Alatariel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Alatariel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alatariel)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/5 "2001-09-20T22:02:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > \*\*I remember reading about Freud and thinking about how crazy he was to apply sexuality to everything. Then I see it in our culture and the main motivation for a lot of people as they set out on a “quest” for sex. Why not just settle for chocolate or something else good. Why be so damn sexual? > \*\* Not to be too flippant, but good sex makes me (at least) feel **much** better than a chocolate bar > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > Sex is kind of gross. People’s bodies essentially produce bad smells. The sweat glands that produce “BO” basically go into overdrive. Also, it creates a mess that isn’t pleasant to clean up, so what’s so appealing? I’d rather golf, or ski. And I’m not into golfing and skiing. (I’m 26, so I’m not a ‘kid’ either). > \*\* But the focus of the act is not solely the smell/secretions of your partner, is it? It can be the sensations, or the fact that you care for the person, or any number of other focuses. Generally, before, during and after an orgasm, I’m not focusing on whether my partner is sweaty or not. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > Regardless of sexual orientation, people are jumping in the sack with friends or strangers with no feelings other than some desire for sexual gratification. Isn’t this a little demeaning? Why do this? They could just go to their room alone, y’know. Don’t these people have hands? Why not just go for self-gratification? It’s instant, it doesn’t come with and “baggage” and chances of disease or unwanted pregnacy are eliminated. Is there a rule book I never got, or are people just that weird? > \*\* It sounds like a conflict in your question, as well. If the act is inherently distasteful, then emotional attachments for the person would seem immaterial. Except, maybe, as noble self sacrifice to concieve a child, or to make your not-quite-so-sensitive-to-the-hideousness-of-it-all partner happy. Or if the act is not, then it makes sense to chase partners if you ain’t attached 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/6 "2001-09-20T22:11:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > **Sex is kind of gross. People’s bodies essentially produce bad smells. The sweat glands that produce “BO” basically go into overdrive. Also, it creates a mess that isn’t pleasant to clean up, so what’s so appealing? I’d rather golf, or ski. And I’m not into golfing and skiing. (I’m 26, so I’m not a ‘kid’ either).** I don’t think you are likely to be criticised for this view of sex. I fully agree with what you say. The way I come to terms with the problem is to go shopping. Here is my shopping list: 1. Soap 2. Shower gel 3. Anti-perspirant/Deodorant 4. Washing machine 5. Washing powder (or liquid, as you prefer) 6. Fabric softener 7. Spare bed linen (to use whilst the messy set is in item 4) 8. Rotary clothes drier (for outside use) 9. Clothes pegs Items 4, 7, 8 and 9 last quite a long time, whilst the others are consumables, but don’t eat them. If I have any funds remaining after making these purchases I normally buy a packet of cigarettes (low tar) in order to enhance the post-coital feeling of languor. I can assure you that sex is better than golf, _and_ you get to keep your balls, at least most of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/7 "2001-09-20T22:25:20Z")
Dale, you’re not [Stephen Fry](http://www.geocities.com/~quickfry/quotes.htm) IRL are you? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/8 "2001-09-20T22:35:48Z")
Dale The Bold wrote: > [@](#): > > Sex is kind of gross. People’s bodies essentially produce bad smells. The sweat glands that produce “BO” basically go into overdrive. Although, as far as I can tell, the scent of a partner is one of the things that makes it a memorable experience. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_The\_Bold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dale\_The\_Bold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_The_Bold)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/9 "2001-09-20T22:48:59Z")
Okay, I see that my point kind of went out the window with a lot of people here. Simply put, sex isn’t the greatest thing on earth, so why is it that some people live solely for sex? Can’t anyone put the snickering child in them aside for just a minute? ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/10 "2001-09-20T22:49:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > **Why be so damn sexual?** It’s fun to put your wee-wee in the yim-yam!! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/11 "2001-09-20T22:53:13Z")
Dale The Bold wrote: > [@](#): > > Simply put, sex isn’t the greatest thing on earth, I disagree. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/12 "2001-09-20T22:55:04Z")
Putting aside the physical desire for sex for a moment, if you have no _emotional_ desire to bond with your mate, then you are a robot; a machine for all intents & purposes. Once your CPU makes the connection between the emotional bonds and the sights, smells and yes, tasts of sex, you stand a chance of becoming human and feeling the desire to reinforce this bond. > [@](#): > > Simply put, sex isn’t the greatest thing on earth, so why is it that some people live solely for sex? Deep in our reptillian brain there is a strong desire to mate, sharpened by millenia of evolutionary forces. We are driven to have sex by forces beyond our control. Whether or not it’s the greatest thing on earth is largely a matter of opinion. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/13 "2001-09-20T22:59:21Z")
> [@](#): > > Simply put, sex isn’t the greatest thing on earth, so why is it that some people live solely for sex? The same reason that some people live solely for, say, cars… or clothes… or food… or TV… or politics. Some people find a nice little rut and enjoy themselves in it. Just because you don’t like something, that shouldn’t mean that other people can’t like it. ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/14 "2001-09-20T22:59:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > **Simply put, sex isn’t the greatest thing on earth…** It **is** the greatest thing on earth. Except for a nice MLT… mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich - where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe… ---
**Author:** ![Firx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Firx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Firx)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/15 "2001-09-20T23:04:28Z")
Originally posted by Dale the Bold: > [@](#): > > The sweat glands that produce “BO” basically go into overdrive. Technically all sweat glands produce is, uh, sweat. Bacteria that live on your skin produce the smell. By the way, if you wash very thoroughly with antibacterial soap you don’t _really_ need to wear deodorant. Speaking from personal experience, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_The\_Bold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dale\_The\_Bold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_The_Bold)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/16 "2001-09-20T23:52:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Attrayant \* > **Putting aside the physical desire for sex for a moment, if you have no _emotional_ desire to bond with your mate, then you are a robot; a machine for all intents & purposes. Once your CPU makes the connection between the emotional bonds and the sights, smells and yes, tasts of sex, you stand a chance of becoming human and feeling the desire to reinforce this bond.** I think that’s what bothers me. People are often so sexual, that they forget to have emotion, to be human. They are more interested in satisfying a physical urge than they are in making sure it’s the right person, or that they even care about that person. That’s what I call robotic. The primary function is reproduction and instant gratification. “Is she hot?” is the first question, there’s never a question of intellect or a common bond. There’s a priority of sexual gratification that people put before emotion. So I’m not being unemotional, I’m wondering why people put sex _before_ emotion. Why give “it” such priority. In other words, foreplay is just as important as “the deed.” I’m tired of hearing women complain about men. I say give to woman what she wants, romance. 🙂 (I think I’m going to get in trouble now). ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/17 "2001-09-21T00:13:15Z")
You do realize, don’t you, that it’s quite possible (in fact quite common) for casual-sex partners to engage in foreplay? ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/18 "2001-09-21T00:29:15Z")
I sometimes wear one of Mr. Seawitch’s t-shirts when he’s away, because it still smells like him. I have no desire whatsoever to make both of us (and our entire house) smell like Downey. I don’t mind sweat. I don’t think sexual gratification is demeaning. And I don’t think sex is even a little gross. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to have fabulous sweaty sex. And I’m not gonna shower until tomorrow right before work. ---
**Author:** ![Limerick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a87d85/32.png) [@Limerick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limerick)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/19 "2001-09-21T00:38:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > \*\* > > In other words, foreplay is just as important as “the deed.” I’m tired of hearing women complain about men. I say give to woman what she wants, romance. 🙂 (I think I’m going to get in trouble now). \*\* Uh, ok, foreplay is good. Foreplay plus crazed delirious sex is better. Sometimes crazed delerious sex without the foreplay is what the woman wants. Just a little unsolicited womanly advice 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TruthFinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/13edae/32.png) [@TruthFinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruthFinder)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/20 "2001-09-21T03:27:04Z")
[Overly Simplistic Explanation] Humans are basically animals. Animals do 2 things. They feed themselves. They mate. So “Good Food” and “Good Sex” are very important. [/Overly Simplistic Explanation] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882.md?page=2)