# Just why the hell are people so damn sexual? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 20, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882 "2001-09-20T21:28:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/41 "2001-09-22T00:15:14Z")
Dale The Bold wrote: > [@](#): > > Call me old-fashioned, but why can’t people keep it in their pants until they get married and then keep it within the marriage? If they’ve already “done it” together, there’s nothing to “consumate.” And if they **haven’t** already “done it” before they get married, and then after they get married they discover that they’re **lousy** in bed together, **then what?** For this reason, it makes good sense to do the horizontal lambada with your fiancée before you sign your names to that marriage contract. It also makes good sense to move in together before you’re married. I mean, what if your feelings for your would-be spouse aren’t what you thought they were? What if, despite all your feelings toward one another, you just plain can’t stand living together? The time to find this out is **before** you get married, so you don’t have to go throught the messy, painful, expensive, and looooooooong process of divorce. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/42 "2001-09-22T00:20:29Z")
What tracer said. Sex is too important in a relationship for me to wait til I marry someone before finding out that he thinks it’s messy, gross and smelly. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/43 "2001-09-22T00:24:10Z")
**Dale The Bold** : If sex is gross and messy and not worth it, then why would you do it at all? And if you did do it, why would you wait until you are married and subject the person you love to such a distastful experience? ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/44 "2001-09-22T00:31:09Z")
mmmmmmmm… sex. _tries to remember what she was going to say…_ _sigh_ I’m sure it’ll come to me later. Oh, and what tracer said… if I broke up and got engaged again and he wanted to wait, I would, but I-need-good-sex in order to have a good relationship. It doesn’t make it, but bad sex WILL break it. Two people, working together, to make each other happy. Ain’t life grand. mmm… tequila. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_The\_Bold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dale\_The\_Bold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_The_Bold)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/45 "2001-09-22T00:37:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > **And if they haven’t already “done it” before they get married, and then after they get married they discover that they’re lousy in bed together, then what?** How can they think of it as “lousy” when they have nothing to compare it to? What is “good sex” when you’ve only had one kind? Has anyone **ever** said that sex is unpleasant? Is there “bad sex?” (I have only pointed out the aspects of sex that are unpleasant and never implied that the _experience_ itself was unpleasant, because it obviously needs to be-or we’d go extinct). My question was not “why are people so sexual,” because the answer is obvious. My question was “why are people **so damn** sexual.” ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/46 "2001-09-22T00:40:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SenorBeef \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by TruthFinder \* > > \*\*[Overly Simplistic Explanation] > > Humans are basically animals. > > Animals do 2 things. They feed themselves. They mate. > > So “Good Food” and “Good Sex” are very important. > > [/Overly Simplistic Explanation] \*\* > > Overly Accurate Explanation. \*\* I was waiting for the above answer while reading this thread. Dale - Like it or not, when you get down to basics, we’re not all that different from any other mammal on this planet. Generalizing that people are somehow dysfunctional for wanting sex is like saying they shouldn’t like breathing. I will disagree with truthfinder that “good sex” is not a biological requirement only that the potential for conception occurs (of course good sex might result in repeated opportunities :D) Sex is an innate behavior, IMHO supressing it would probably be more psychologically damaging than excess. In response to your friends who “go out to score” who should “wait for marriage” please remember that fidelity is a cultural and or societal issue. It is not demanded by our biological makeup that a man be faithful, in fact it would inhibit the drive to spread your genes as far as possible. Yes we do attempt to “rise above” our animal existence but in a nutshell we are just (really damn smart) animals. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Dr.Lao_ > > Dale The Bold: If sex is gross and messy and not worth it, then why would you do it at all? And if you did do it, why would you wait until you are married and subject the person you love to such a distastful experience? Yeah spare her the ickiness, the rest of us will be more than happy to make an extra kid or two to compensate and assure the propagation of our species. I already have 3 so I think I’m going to bow out and say I have done my part. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/47 "2001-09-22T00:45:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > > How can they think of it as “lousy” when they have nothing to compare it to? What is “good sex” when you’ve only had one kind? > > Has anyone **ever** said that sex is unpleasant? Is there “bad sex?”\*\* I know a lady who tells some horrid stories about her ex-hubby. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/48 "2001-09-22T00:45:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > \*\*My question was “why are people **so damn** sexual.” \*\* Why shouldn’t they be? If people like it, why does that bother you? As long as they don’t enforce participation, why does it matter? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/49 "2001-09-22T00:49:44Z")
Dale The Bold wrote: > [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > > And if they **haven’t** already “done it” before they get married, and then after they get married they discover that they’re **lousy** in bed together, **then what?** > > How can they think of it as “lousy” when they have nothing to compare it to? What is “good sex” when you’ve only had one kind? It sounds like you’re proposing a kind of “ignorance is bliss” philosophy. If you don’t know what sex with other people is like, you’re more likely to stay faithful to your spouse, because you won’t know that you can do better. Is that it? Personally, I don’t know if lifetime monogamy is such a virtue, if that’s the kind of price you have to pay to get it. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_The\_Bold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dale\_The\_Bold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_The_Bold)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/50 "2001-09-22T03:35:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dr. Lao \* > \*\*Why shouldn’t they be? If people like it, why does that bother you? As long as they don’t enforce participation, why does it matter? \*\* Hey, I think you got it! Everyone was so busy being offended by my question that they forgot to answer it. “why does that bother you?” It bothers me because it’s everywhere. I get crap on the internet all the time that I don’t want. Pop-ups are intrusive, and 90% of it is porn. Just as most people don’t like hearing women describe their periods, why should I have to be bombarded by people’s twisted fantasies (and exaggerations)? (No, sex itself is not twisted, but some people do some sick things.) What’s with people who eat each other’s crap? I’ve stumbled upon pictures of that twice now and I don’t look for that! Aside from that, my question is not about whether or not anyone should be bothered by it. It’s a question of **why** it’s so prevalent. What good does it do to have sexual instincts _beyond_ that which is physically necessary for reproduction? I know, I know, I’m starting to understand that many of you don’t understand how I can say it’s “beyond necessary” but come on, what good does anal sex, or “protected sex” do for continuing the species? Sooo much sex, but so little for reproduction. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/51 "2001-09-22T05:47:33Z")
Just for the record, Dale, humans are **not** the only species that engages in sex for reasons other than procreation. Take a look at _Bonobos_ (pygmy chimps) some time. Bonobos will Do It with each other at the drop of a hat, and they engage in such non-procreative practices as mutual masturbation, oral sex, and a form of lesbian sex not usually practiced by humans because human labia are just too damn small. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/52 "2001-09-22T05:48:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Dr. Lao \* > > \*\*Why shouldn’t they be? If people like it, why does that bother you? As long as they don’t enforce participation, why does it matter? \*\* > > Hey, I think you got it! Everyone was so busy being offended by my question that they forgot to answer it. \*\* It’s been answered, quite well, several times. People are sexual because all successful species are sexual. It’s a biological drive. You may as well ask why people are so obsessed with breathing oxygen. > [@](#): > > \*\*I know, I know, I’m starting to understand that many of you don’t understand how I can say it’s “beyond necessary” but come on, what good does anal sex, or “protected sex” do for continuing the species? Sooo much sex, but so little for reproduction. \*\* It’s nature’s way of MAKING SURE the job gets done. People’s propensity for screwing each other in the ass or wearing French maid outfits is simply a byproduct of the overwhelming basic desire to have sex. You can’t have intelligent animals with such a powerful drive WITHOUT having that drive consciously expressed in many different ways. I mean, why do we have so many forms of cuisine? Italian, French, Chinese, Thai, Indian - what’s the point, really? Why aren’t you just happy with eating some basic foodstuffs, some grain, a little dog meat, some insects, grass, and berries? All the stuff a growing boy needs - proteins, fats, and carbs. You see WAY more food crap in advertising than sex crap. McDonald’s ads are everywhere. Grocery stores on every corner! Restaurants are legion. Advertisements for Coke, chocolate bars, milk products fill my TV screen. Why is that? ---
**Author:** ![Limerick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a87d85/32.png) [@Limerick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limerick)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/53 "2001-09-22T07:16:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by minty green \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Limerick \* > > Uh, ok, foreplay is good. Foreplay plus crazed delirious sex is better. Sometimes crazed delerious sex without the foreplay is what the woman wants. > > “Sometimes”? This is the best we have to go on?!? That’s it, I’m goin’ gay. > > [sub]Not really. Damn how I love my soon-to-be fiancee, who humors me no end.[/sub] \*\* Hmmm… well, I’m new here, I didn’t know if posting a detailed timeline would go over. But don’t worry, if the lady wants it hot, wild and NOW, you will definately know 😃 BTW, Dale, most species–from cows all the way down to moths–regularly engage in sexual behavior that’s not going to result in procreation (masturbation, homosexual behaviors, blah blah blah). As far as why we’re swamped with sexual innuendo in this country, it’s partly a reaction to a puritanical society. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/54 "2001-09-22T07:28:07Z")
> [@](#): > > You may as well ask why people are so obsessed with breathing oxygen. Well, I, for one, avoid breathing oxygen as much as possible, because I think it’s icky. When you get right down to it, breathing oxygen isn’t the best thing in the world. In fact, I’ve abstained from breathing oxygen, and you know what? I can live without it. The only reason all you pathetic people breath oxygen is because you’re addicted to it, and you don’t know that life is pretty good without oxygen. I am offended by oxygen, because it is everywhere. It is all around me when I walk, and when I talk, and when I watch TV. Heck, oxygen even has its own channel. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/55 "2001-09-22T07:39:57Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s a question of why it’s so prevalent. What good does it do to have sexual instincts beyond that which is physically necessary for reproduction? Good question. Personally, I don’t have any desire either to go and have sex outside of marriage. (Happily, I’m single.) I don’t see the point in sex. Sure, I’ll do it when I want to have children, but it’s pretty much a means to procreation. I don’t want to see people have sex either. So I suppose to try to lend a sympathetic ear, I don’t see the point in sex. [sub]Then again, they say women hit their sexual peak in their mid-30s, so maybe I’m just not ripe yet…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f19dbf/32.png) [@dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dude)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/56 "2001-09-22T10:49:34Z")
Go out and have some totally non-relationship ‘session’ with a VERY sexy escort and then come back and tell us if you do NOT get it. Sex in relationships is more emotional than a ‘fling’ but I don’t see that one is morally better than another. Feel the beast inside., grrr, beat that chest mr ape ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/57 "2001-09-22T11:36:52Z")
yick. flings. that’s just MHO 🙂 lel, hope you change your mind, at least hope you marry a sensitive and empathetic guy. Great sex in a relationship is just like one more hobby. No need to buy protective equipment, balls, pucks or skates 😉 (wow, I think I just invented a new kink) Dale, I now see your point. The hypersexuality depicted in today’s media IS overwhelming. Realize it is also sensationalized and not an accurate depictment of REAL life. The number of people who like sodomizing chickens is, in reality, very low, no matter what Larry’s Animal House of Pleasure would have you believe. Plus, if anyone wants to find something disgusting, think about EATING. EW. I will take semen over poo anyday. ( I love food, in reality.) ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/58 "2001-09-22T15:55:37Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Venoma \* > \*\* I will take semen over poo anyday._\* What a great quote… ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/59 "2001-09-22T16:35:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dale The Bold \* > It bothers me because it’s everywhere. I get crap on the internet all the time that I don’t want. Pop-ups are intrusive, and 90% of it is porn. Just as most people don’t like hearing women describe their periods, why should I have to be bombarded by people’s twisted fantasies (and exaggerations)? (No, sex itself is not twisted, but some people do some sick things.) What’s with people who eat each other’s crap? I’ve stumbled upon pictures of that twice now and I don’t look for that! Am I the only one who doubts the veracity of these statements? C’mon, **Dale** , it’s not like Amazon and [cnn.com](http://cnn.com) have pop-up porn ads. If you’re getting this stuff, it’s because you’re looking for it. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882/60 "2001-09-22T17:18:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Deep in our reptillian brain there is a strong desire to mate… and that’s why we have tongues… _flick flick flick_ But seriously, sex isn’t the main thing, it’s is not the be all and end all of our existance… Theres… damn. I can’t think of anything else right now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-why-the-hell-are-people-so-damn-sexual/82882.md?page=4)