# Kanicbird, Just Leave It Alone **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 6, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414 "2010-08-06T16:26:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/41 "2010-08-06T23:23:51Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Edit: I mean that my laughter scared the animal, not my four-hour erections. I figured this out on my own, but your post was more awesome before I did. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/42 "2010-08-06T23:33:56Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@Marley23](#): > > > > If God’s Love lasts more than four hours, consult a physician. > > I terrified the cat because of this. > > Edit: I mean that my laughter scared the animal, not my four-hour erections. Quit scaring the cat with your four-hour erections. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/43 "2010-08-06T23:41:45Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@Marley23](#): > > > > If God’s Love lasts more than four hours, consult a physician. > > I terrified the cat because of this. > > Edit: I mean that my laughter scared the animal, not my four-hour erections. So the cat is _used_ to the four hour erections? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/44 "2010-08-06T23:46:29Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > I terrified the cat because of this. > > > > Edit: I mean that my laughter scared the animal, not my four-hour erections. > > So the cat is _used_ to the four hour erections? I’d hope so; it’s because of the cat that I have them! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/45 "2010-08-07T01:12:09Z")
Remember how there’s no such thing as spousal rape, because you’re literally one, thus you would be raping yourself? (I asked him if that wouldn’t just make marital sex masturbation but he didn’t reply) Or that he has literally seen demons in disguise – often in the faces of children or animals. (When I told him he should seriously get help, I was accused of “diagnosing someone online”) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/46 "2010-08-07T01:45:59Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12769988&postcount=2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12769988&postcount=2) > > I know you have some…special…ideas about violence and rape. I find them exceptionally deviant, forthrightly offensive, and would question your sincerity had you not been so inerringly consistent about the subject for so long. > > In sum, you are one scary motherfucker. I haven’t read enough of your posts to have a good handle on how you live your life day to day, but I do hope that you live in some area of the world quite remote from me and that you never encounter me or any of my friends or family in any capacity. Frankly, when I come across one of **Kanicbird’s** posts, I have the same reaction as if I encountered a homeless delusional person . I pay no attention. He really must by a lonely harmless person deserving of pity rather than scorn or fear. Especially on an anonymous message board. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/47 "2010-08-07T01:46:28Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > > [@Kobal2](#): > > > > OK, I knew birdie boy had a… special theology, but damn. This is nuttier than trail mix. > > It’s a bit word salad, but if I squint at it sideways he seems to be saying that placebos work and that’s cool - stop looking for causitive cures and learn to love all palcebos. Cause causitive cures aren’t as much fun. The cure of the placebo comes from within us, which is much cooler. Placebo cures show that we’re cool. > > To which most of us would add: > > “Yeah, they’re cool _when they work_. And I’m cool anyway. So give me a therapy that works even if I don’t love it. I’ll spend my time and love on something else.” So…he’s a juggalo? ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/48 "2010-08-07T10:32:41Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > I terrified the cat because of this. > > > > Edit: I mean that my laughter scared the animal, not my four-hour erections. > > So the cat is _used_ to the four hour erections? Cats are timing erections now? Cat: “OMG, it’s been… 2 hours 36 minutes and it’s still up, this must be a record. Why is he looking at me like that?” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/49 "2010-08-07T10:41:03Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > > [@vivalostwages](#): > > > > I feel sick to my stomach. > > Wait, because of what he said, or because of what I said? > > Despite the offensiveness of **kanicbird** ’s words, I just have a hard time getting myself worked up about him. The guy is a freaking crazy person. It’s like having an argument with the guy on the streetcorner with a sandwich board saying that 9/11 was perpetrated by Venusians and that everyone in Sweden is a vampire. A Swëde ønce bit mi sister! Nø realli! ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/50 "2010-08-07T11:03:31Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > I terrified the cat because of this. > > > > Edit: I mean that my laughter scared the animal, not my four-hour erections. > > So the cat is _used_ to the four hour erections? He just wrapped it in sisal and convinced kitty it was a scratching post. Oh, and Kanicbird is, as **SteveG1** stated, crazier than a shithouse rat. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/51 "2010-08-07T12:18:04Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Or that _ **he has literally seen demons in disguise – often in the faces of children or animals** _. (When I told him he should seriously get help, I was accused of “diagnosing someone online”) Is **Kanicbird** a serial killer? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/52 "2010-08-07T12:29:01Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > > [@Kyla](#): > > > > Wait, because of what he said, or because of what I said? > > > > Despite the offensiveness of **kanicbird** ’s words, I just have a hard time getting myself worked up about him. The guy is a freaking crazy person. It’s like having an argument with the guy on the streetcorner with a sandwich board saying that 9/11 was perpetrated by Venusians and that everyone in Sweden is a vampire. > > A Swëde ønce bit mi sister! Nø realli! And now my coworker thinks I’m crazy for laughing aloud at seemingly nothing. But now I have to have you sacked. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/53 "2010-08-07T14:44:22Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@Guinastasia](#): > > > > Or that _ **he has literally seen demons in disguise – often in the faces of children or animals** _. (When I told him he should seriously get help, I was accused of “diagnosing someone online”) > > Is **Kanicbird** a serial killer? Probably. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/54 "2010-08-07T16:44:56Z")
Quite honestly, it would not surprise me. (And you know what’s REALLY scary – he volunteers to work with kids) > [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > Frankly, when I come across one of **Kanicbird’s** posts, I have the same reaction as if I encountered a homeless delusional person . I pay no attention. He really must by a lonely harmless person deserving of pity rather than scorn or fear. Especially on an anonymous message board. That would be easy – if he wouldn’t tell rape victims they still have soul ties to their rapists, and that “date rape” isn’t really rape. Or when he tells parents that the reason their children are disabled is because said children made pacts with demons before they were born. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/55 "2010-08-07T17:26:27Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12769988&postcount=2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12769988&postcount=2) > > I know you have some…special…ideas about violence and rape. I find them exceptionally deviant, forthrightly offensive, and would question your sincerity had you not been so inerringly consistent about the subject for so long. > > In sum, you are one scary motherfucker. I haven’t read enough of your posts to have a good handle on how you live your life day to day, but I do hope that you live in some area of the world quite remote from me and that you never encounter me or any of my friends or family in any capacity. Read link. Got to _“If the female is at the point were she desires to give life to a child rape could be blessing…”_ Head asplodes. Perhaps if **kanicbird** had been so blessed said person would understand why that statement is so fucked up (in every sense of the word). ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/56 "2010-08-07T17:31:51Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@Guinastasia](#): > > > > Or that _ **he has literally seen demons in disguise – often in the faces of children or animals** _. (When I told him he should seriously get help, I was accused of “diagnosing someone online”) > > Is **Kanicbird** a serial killer? That, or a serial rapist. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/57 "2010-08-07T17:41:14Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > That would be easy – if he wouldn’t tell rape victims they still have soul ties to their rapists, and that “date rape” isn’t really rape. Or when he tells parents that the reason their children are disabled is because said children made pacts with demons before they were born. All we “know” about **Kanicbird** and his beliefs is what he tells us. He seems to ramble on in his posts like they are simply monalogs without any attempt to debate. If he talked like that in real life he would be shunned by just about everyone. No one would want to stick around to listen to him. Frankly it would be somewhat embarrassing . I can’t believe that anyone, including rape victims or parents of disabled children can be offended by the musings of a mentally disabled person. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/58 "2010-08-07T17:42:59Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > One time I went back and forth with **kanicbird** , in an effort to get a line on the madness of his method. It turns out he believes in [soul ties](http://ministeringdeliverance.com/soul_ties.php), so he places great stock in a potential bond between partakers of sex. He thinks this bond forms irrevocably, whether or not those involved had feelings for each other. This belief may not make sense, but it’s something to bear in mind when he comes off sounding like a complete loon. This really doesn’t help his case, though. If someone decides to forge a “soul tie” with someone else against her will, it doesn’t make such a thing okay, it makes it violent and wrong on yet another level. It’s not just a violation in the physical and emotional/psychological senses, but it’s also a violation in the spiritual/metaphysical sense. One could even argue that violating someone spiritually is even worse than the other two. I couldn’t parse his post either, but it sort of sounded like male victims of rape wouldn’t feel bad because they want to procreate, along the same lines as what he said for female victims of rape. Although I suppose it could be interpreted that he meant rape is okay cuz gee, the rapist just wants to have a baby. :rolleyes: Either way, he is completely delusional about what rape is – a violent assertion of power and control over someone, having nothing to do with making babies. It also apparently never occurred to him that by and large, male victims of rape would not be assaulted by women, making the “procreation” angle utterly moot. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/59 "2010-08-07T17:59:19Z")
You know how half the time (not this time!) his first paragraph will be normal and good sense and a perfectly respectable thing to say, and then the second paragraph will be absolutely nucking futs? He does that on purpose, he said once. He’s trying to lull you with a nice reasonable beginning and then drop that shit on your after you’re already reading. It’s a tool of his to get you to, you know, accept him into your heart or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414/60 "2010-08-07T19:08:08Z")
After I accept him into my heart, do we have a soul tie? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-just-leave-it-alone/549414.md?page=4)