# Kanicbird. Yeah, It's probably pointless, but.. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 30, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711 "2009-01-30T14:37:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/381 "2009-02-10T05:47:01Z")
King James is definitely NOT a Catholic Bible. šŸ˜‰ No offense. Our family Bible is the [New American Bible](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_American_Bible). ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/382 "2009-02-10T05:59:29Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Thanks Juliana and Homebrew. Consider some of my ignorance fought. Learning is fun. I had no idea that all the bibles I had read were protestant. Makes sense though since I grew up around southern baptists. Good thing I am not christian or I would be more embarrassed. Glad I could help, and nothing to be embarrassed about. I grew up Southern Baptist, and I am convinced if they had their way, there would be no other denomination and they would be right about everything. While in a Southern Baptist church, one of the youth ministers had a copy of the Book of Mormon with a warning inside that read, ā€œPOISON! Do not read!ā€ Well, you know what that did to me: made me curious. So I got a copy and read it. The full impact of it all didnā€™t hit me until I became Wiccan for a few years, I understood a lot more of what non-Christians and unbelievers went through, so I have more empathy towards others. I did come back to Christianity, but with a whole different perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/383 "2009-02-10T06:05:29Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Sorry for spouting ignorance, Guin. Well, this place is about FIGHTING ignorance, and yourā€™s was fought, and conquered, right? So there you go! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/384 "2009-02-10T06:39:47Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > The Apocryphal books: > > ``` > * 1 Esdras (Vulgate 3 Esdras) > * 2 Esdras (Vulgate 4 Esdras) > * Tobit > * Judith > * Rest of Esther (Vulgate Esther 10:4-16:24) > * Wisdom > * Ecclesiasticus (also known as Sirach) > * Baruch and the Epistle of Jeremy (all part of Vulgate Baruch) > * Song of the Three Children (Vulgate Daniel 3:24-90) > * Story of Susanna (Vulgate Daniel 13) > * The Idol Bel and the Dragon (Vulgate Daniel 14) > * Prayer of Manasses > * 1 Maccabees > * 2 Maccabees > > ``` Along with Psalm 151 (NOT in the KJV Apocrypha) the above plus the standard Genesis to Malachi series are the Orthodox Old Testament (both Eastern and Oriental Orthodox ā€“ the latter are the Armenian Church, the Jacobites of Syria, and the Copts\*). The Catholic canon includes all of them but 1 and 2 Esdras and the Prayer of Manasses, terming them the ā€œDeuterocanon.ā€ (Of course Daniel and Esther are in the long form in their usual places; only in the KJV and NEV Apocrypha are the ā€œRest of Estherā€ and the three short extensions of Daniel broken out into separate books.) Anglicans, Lutherans, and officially the Methodists accord the Books of the Apocrypha a ā€œkind of Scripture but not exactlyā€ second place status. - This would be the Coptic Orthodox Church of Egypt. The Ethiopian Church, which also claims allegiance to the Coptic Patriarch of Alexandria, has a vastly expanded Bible with such things as Jubilees, Enoch, the Shepherd of Hermas, and the First Epistle of Clement included.) ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/385 "2009-02-10T12:31:02Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Since it takes a person about a year to read the Bible and if one really pushes it Iā€™ve heard 3 months, how could you have read it over 20 times? Have you really read every book of the Bible through at least once? Yes, I read the bible in almost all my spare time, I am nearly 79 years old. I have read the Bible to pieces and still have it. I can read a book in a day. In my freshman year in high school I read a total of 275 books( all fiction) The Bible, I read more slowly, I did not memorize it and at first I read it and believed because I was taught that it was the word of God. Later in life I taught it, then I began to see the contradictions, studied the History of the Bible which led me to study other religions, Archeology, History and the Dead Sea Scrolls, I realized the modern Bibles (this was in the 60ā€™s) were translated many times and many books were not in the Bible, many writings were discounted and I realized that Humans decided what was Godā€™s word and what was not. Humans stated it was inspired and humans decided what was holy. I have nothing against the Bible or people who believe in it as long as they do not use it to condem, or harm others, the same with the Koran. Some people are better for their beliefs, some worse, it depends on the person.There were many kind, and virtuous people long before the Bible was written and if what was written about Jesus had any truth he is quoted as using the Samaritan as an example. ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/386 "2009-02-10T12:40:56Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > Thereā€™s a lot of **Kanicbird** ā€™s stuff I donā€™t agree with. I think itā€™s strange that, as a Pentecostal, he does put stock in versions of the Bible other than the KJV. Every Pentecostal church I have ever attended has said that the KJV is the only authorized word of God. and any other version will lead you straight to Hell. > > I donā€™t think heā€™s a troll, and I do think heā€™s sincere in his beliefs. He has been a gentleman throughout all this: if heā€™d have flown off the handle, how many of us would have said, ā€œSee? Told you so! How much of a Christian can he be?ā€ No matter how much I disagree with him, I have to admire him for standing his ground against everyone here. > > Demons? Yeah, but I donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever met one. Heaven and Hell? I believe in an afterlife, but I donā€™t know what itā€™s going to be like. Iā€™ll find that out when I get there. And if there is none: then Iā€™ll know Iā€™ve lived my life on Earth as best as I can. Disease? God may be able to heal, but I believe that doctors were given their healing knowledge for that reason. Medicines were created by that knowledge to help people feel better. > > I believe in God and Jesus, but I also believe God speaks to people in different ways. I am not to judge whether someoneā€™s path is right or wrong, but I am to follow mine with all my heart and act as a support for others who need it, no matter what path they follow. This is why I love to study and read about other religions: I canā€™t understand and support if I donā€™t know about them. > > I love to talk about religion. I love to compare and take notes and learn. I do not like to argue. And this is why I donā€™t fit in well in any church. **Fenris** does have a point: with God being all-powerful and everything, why did someone - especially His Son - have to die? If He forgives our sins, why did He have to go that far? Why couldnā€™t it have been something else? The wages of sin not being death, but broccoli: and the gift of God being eternal life through Girl Scout cookies? Thatā€™s something I have to think about. The King James version of the Bible didnā€™t come out until way after Lutherā€™s time, so every one who read or used the Bible before then is sent to Hell? The New Testemant wasnā€™t even collected as one Book until 312 AD or so, that would mean all the writings, translations, etc. before the KJV kept by the Roman and Orthodox churches were then also wrong ? How do you determine what version is correct, isnā€™t that the decision of humans? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/387 "2009-02-10T14:19:46Z")
> [@monavis](#): > > How do you determine what version is correct, isnā€™t that the decision of humans? Apparently all we really need to rely on is \*\*kanicbirdā€™s \*\*ecclesiastical dousing rod-- heā€™ll let us know whatā€™s right. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/388 "2009-02-10T14:39:25Z")
> [@monavis](#): > > The King James version of the Bible didnā€™t come out until way after Lutherā€™s time, so every one who read or used the Bible before then is sent to Hell? Donā€™t believe that at all. They were following Godā€™s law as it was at the time. > [@](#): > > The New Testemant wasnā€™t even collected as one Book until 312 AD or so, that would mean all the writings, translations, etc. before the KJV kept by the Roman and Orthodox churches were then also wrong ? How do you determine what version is correct, isnā€™t that the decision of humans? It is indeed. All I was speaking of was my experience with the Pentecostals. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/389 "2009-02-10T16:07:36Z")
Nothing to add to the thread except that **kanicbird** is the calmest Pittee Iā€™ve ever seen. No lashing back - nothing. Canā€™t say I agree with you all that much, **kanicbird** , but your responses are a lot more Christian than those of a lot of people who I do agree with. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/390 "2009-02-10T20:39:37Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Nothing to add to the thread except that **kanicbird** is the calmest Pittee Iā€™ve ever seen. No lashing back - nothing. > > Canā€™t say I agree with you all that much, **kanicbird** , but your responses are a lot more Christian than those of a lot of people who I do agree with. > > Regards, > Shodan A lesson for you? ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/391 "2009-02-10T20:42:26Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > A lesson for you? Kanicbirdā€™s happy being a martyr? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/392 "2009-02-10T20:57:03Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > And the Catholic Bible has more books than the Protestant versions, and I think the Eastern Orthodox has even more-doesnā€™t it? Waitaminnit. If it is The literal thou shalt not change mess with or alter WORD OF GOD (echo effects), then WHICH is the right one? For that matter, which translasion? What if the REAL book was lost long ago? Weā€™re doomed. Doomed I say. Nahhh, cookies fix everything. ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/393 "2009-02-11T12:17:48Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > Donā€™t believe that at all. They were following Godā€™s law as it was at the time. > > Who determined what was Godā€™s Law? Wasnā€™t it some human or humans? > > It is indeed. All I was speaking of was my experience with the Pentecostals. People managed to survive with the old translations which made it possible to extend the Christian teachings.Since it wasnā€™t until the King James version(which used the older versions one can safely say none could be correct. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/394 "2009-02-11T21:08:21Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Nothing to add to the thread except that **kanicbird** is the calmest Pittee Iā€™ve ever seen. No lashing back - nothing. > > Canā€™t say I agree with you all that much, **kanicbird** , but your responses are a lot more Christian than those of a lot of people who I do agree with. > > Regards, > Shodan Heā€™s the bomb. The fact so many people hate him makes me like him even more. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/395 "2009-02-11T21:33:50Z")
> [@Omegaman](#): > > Heā€™s the bomb. The fact so many people hate him makes me like him even more. I donā€™t hate him. I find him hilarious. I canā€™t believe heā€™s kept up this schtick for so long and so well. If he is, however, not just taking the piss out of us, then I still donā€™t hate him. I feel sorry for him. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/396 "2009-02-11T22:06:25Z")
I certainly donā€™t hate him either. At worst, heā€™s a victim of religion. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/397 "2009-02-11T22:44:09Z")
No, at _worst_ heā€™s a schizophrenic whoā€™s going to wind up bludgeoning strangers to death with a shovel. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/398 "2009-02-12T00:28:11Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > No, at _worst_ heā€™s a schizophrenic whoā€™s going to wind up bludgeoning strangers to death with a shovel. You know, Iā€™m hardly a fan of **kanicbird** , but thatā€™s bullshit. Nothing heā€™s said has indicated that he, personally, is even remotely inclined to violent resolutions to problems. Iā€™ll go out on a limb and guess that I am a more violent person than he. Now itā€™s true that **kanicbird** is an apologist for the genocidal actions his god committed in what he thinks of as history and most of us think of as myth. But I feel confident in saying that **kanicbird** would feel that God having authority to do a thing does not translate into his followers having permission to do the same thing, or even the same sort of thing. I know more than a few Pentecostal, evengelical, and fundamaentalist Xtians, and generally they see a disconnect between events that occurred in Biblical ā€œtimesā€ and those in the present. They would say that, to use a Tolkienesque turn of phrase, the life of Christ represented a change in the Age of the world, and that the way God presents himself is different now, as are the ways he expects his followers to behave. Donā€™t misinterpret the above as agreeing with **kanicbird** ā€™s repellent statements demons & Nephilim and so forth. But itā€™s simply not fair or honest to imply that he is an incipient murderer. Doing so is no different and no better than George Bush saying that atheists cannot be true Americans. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/399 "2009-02-12T06:52:01Z")
He did say at ā€œworstā€, not at ā€œlikelyā€. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/400 "2009-02-12T08:20:59Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > No, at _worst_ heā€™s a schizophrenic whoā€™s going to wind up bludgeoning strangers to death with a shovel. While ill dressed. Which would be even worse. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711.md?page=21)