# Kanicbird. Yeah, It's probably pointless, but.. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 30, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711 "2009-01-30T14:37:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/81 "2009-01-30T21:28:34Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > He is the … only begotten son of Odin. WHAT?!?!? Cripes, he isn’t even Odin’s only-begotten BASTARD! Baldr and Hödr are at least LEGITIMATE. Blasphemer. :mad: If Mary went along because she felt threatened if she didn’t, it was still rape. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/82 "2009-01-30T21:46:15Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > WHAT?!?!? Cripes, he isn’t even Odin’s only-begotten BASTARD! Baldr and Hödr are at least LEGITIMATE. > > Blasphemer. :mad: Fool of a Took! I speak of the [blond, usually-but-not-always clean-shaven Thunder God](http://www.samruby.com/Heroes/Thor/ThorBright.gif) whose adventures are chronicled (in bastardized form) by the blessed Stan Lee and his inheritors, not of the bearded [redhead](http://www.linsdomain.com/gods&goddesses/pictures/thor.jpg)spoken of in the Eddas. The former is long dead, having perished in battle with Jormagund. For Volstagg’s sake, don’t they teach you kids anything in school these days? > [@](#): > > If Mary went along because she felt threatened if she didn’t, it was still rape. Even I think that’s over-stating it. In the story of the Virgin Birth, there is, obviously, no sex. I’ve always taken it that Yahweh caused Mary to conceive parthenogenetically and then tweaked the embryo’s hormones to make it mal rather than female. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/83 "2009-01-30T22:01:13Z")
No need for any tweaking. An entity capable of saying “Let there be light” and light coming into being in an energy-free universe is certainly capable of saying “Be thou pregnant with a boy-child”. History doesn’t record what _would_ have happened to anyone, nor to any beta-test Virgins who said “It’s all very well bearing the incarnate Son of God, but I don’t _wanna_!” - if any existed, plainly they didn’t come to the Gospellers’ attention. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/84 "2009-01-30T22:02:06Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Fool of a Took! 1. And I speak of the REAL one, not the one who isn’t even good enough to be in DC. 2. You mean the latter. 3. You call ME a fool? Ragnarok has not yet occurred and Thor’s death has only been fortold. 4. No, the angel did not ask her permission, just told what was going to happen. As other people in this thread have said, Mary didn’t have much choice, concerning God’s track record with those who disagreed with him. Ergo: rape, same as if an executive demanded sex from an employee who would lose her home if she lost her job. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/85 "2009-01-30T22:29:44Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I hate that “sins of the father” crap about as much as I hate the concept of karma. I prefer the Dogbert interpretation of karma. If I do bad things to you, it must be because you deserve it. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/86 "2009-01-30T22:57:33Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Thank you and may Lord Jesus bless you all. > > And to answer the long awaited question, yes I am male. Several thousand years ago, believing as you do made as much sense as anything else. Today, there’s no excuse. Fuck you, and fuck your infinitely evil God. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/87 "2009-01-30T23:10:05Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > History doesn’t record what _would_ have happened to anyone, nor to any beta-test Virgins who said “It’s all very well bearing the incarnate Son of God, but I don’t _wanna_!” - if any existed, plainly they didn’t come to the Gospellers’ attention. Well there was always Brian. Some British Documentary group covered his life in the 70s. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/88 "2009-01-30T23:16:18Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > 1. And I speak of the REAL one, not the one who isn’t even good enough to be in DC. > > 2. You mean the latter. > > 3. You call ME a fool? Ragnarok has not yet occurred and Thor’s death has only been fortold. > > 4. No, the angel did not ask her permission, just told what was going to happen. As other people in this thread have said, Mary didn’t have much choice, concerning God’s track record with those who disagreed with him. Ergo: rape, same as if an executive demanded sex from an employee who would lose her home if she lost her job. Rape requires SEX. There WAS no sex. There was a BYPASSING OF THE SEXUAL PROCESS. I’m not defending Yahweh, mind you. He hardly needs my defense, being either omnipotent or imaginary. But calling the conception of Jesus “rape” is a torturing of the language. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/89 "2009-01-30T23:42:02Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > History doesn’t record what _would_ have happened to anyone, nor to any beta-test Virgins who said “It’s all very well bearing the incarnate Son of God, but I don’t _wanna_!” - if any existed, plainly they didn’t come to the Gospellers’ attention. Although if his past behavior is anything to go by, “Swallowed by a whale” is one likely outcome. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/90 "2009-01-31T00:01:08Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Although if his past behavior is anything to go by, “Swallowed by a whale” is one likely outcome. True, and then “Spewed up alive and well after having had time to think it over” if we’re continuing to run with that model. And Jonah, of course, was even given leave to be pissed at having done his duty and thereby saved Nineveh. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/91 "2009-01-31T00:33:53Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Rape requires SEX. There WAS no sex. There was a BYPASSING OF THE SEXUAL PROCESS. > > I’m not defending Yahweh, mind you. He hardly needs my defense, being either omnipotent or imaginary. But calling the conception of Jesus “rape” is a torturing of the language. Thanks to this post, I’ve had to ask my weirdest [question](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=504403)yet to GQ… So hopefully I’ll learn something from all of this. -\_- But thanks for the burst of inspiration, however unwarranted I didn’t want it to be. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/92 "2009-01-31T01:03:37Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > True, and then “Spewed up alive and well after having had time to think it over” if we’re continuing to run with that model. Well, I guess that makes everything alright, then. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/93 "2009-01-31T01:26:29Z")
Reading debate on God’s motivations in the OT just drives home the point I’ve believed for years…there is a God, but he’s as capable of caring and devoting love to us humans as we are to ants. The most interest anybody develops in caring for ants happens when they hit age 10 or so and make ant farms. They observe the little buggers making tunnels and carrying around bits of leaves, and deem it as cool. Then they hold up the magnifying glass up the sunlight and watch the ants burn and deem it even cooler. Then God sees that the red and black ants don’t like each other, and will fight if He dumps their ant farms together into one big pile. He doth deem it the coolest. Moses was just the first ant to realize God has fun with acts of depraved indifference. ---
**Author:** ![dactylic\_hexameter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d26b3c/32.png) [@dactylic\_hexameter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dactylic_hexameter)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/94 "2009-01-31T01:34:51Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > I’m afraid i don’t understand this thread. > > But if you argue with believers _as if_ their non-existent deity were real, then you shouldn’t be surprised when the responses you get sometimes reflect the more bizarre extremes of interpretation. I’m with **Mhendo** on this one. So, it’s we’re fine with the idea that God a) exists b) punishes man for their sins by c) sending a flood in which it rains for forty days and nights, and after which less than ten people are left alive to repopulate the earth along with two of each animal yet we’re not fine with the idea that the children are punished for the sins of their fathers? Isn’t that begging the question? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/95 "2009-01-31T15:54:08Z")
> [@Ro0sh](#): > > Thanks to this post, I’ve had to ask my weirdest [question](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=504403)yet to GQ… > > So hopefully I’ll learn something from all of this. -\_- > But thanks for the burst of inspiration, however unwarranted I didn’t want it to be. I WAS ABOUT TO START THAT THREAD!!! Ah well. ETA: Actually I was about to ask about the precise situation in the story (magical insemination) which isn’t what you asked about. So I retract my yelling. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/96 "2009-01-31T15:56:37Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > True, and then “Spewed up alive and well after having had time to think it over” if we’re continuing to run with that model. And Jonah, of course, was even given leave to be pissed at having done his duty and thereby saved Nineveh. You realize that the Book of Jonah is a comedy, right? I’m not kidding. It’s meant to be absurd. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/97 "2009-01-31T16:05:34Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I hate that “sins of the father” crap about as much as I hate the concept of karma. So if your Father was an executive at Kodak which was responsible for a great deal of the pollution in the Hudson river way upstream, you could drink it with impunity because you of course are not subject to the result of your Father’s sins? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/98 "2009-01-31T16:11:14Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You realize that the Book of Jonah is a comedy, right? > > I’m not kidding. It’s meant to be absurd. You mean there were jokes in the bible? Damn, I missed them! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/99 "2009-01-31T16:12:15Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > So if your Father was an executive at Kodak which was responsible for a great deal of the pollution in the Hudson river way upstream, you could drink it with impunity because you of course are not subject to the result of your Father’s sins? Your comparison is not apt; that would make **tdn** the _victim_ of his/her father’s sins. _Punishing_ someone for his/her father’s sins in this scenario would be sending the child to prison for something the father died before the child’s birth. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711/100 "2009-01-31T16:13:16Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > You mean there were jokes in the bible? Damn, I missed them! It’s a comedy. Jonah is constantly being mocked throughout. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-yeah-its-probably-pointless-but/483711.md?page=6)