# Kanicbird, you are an idiot. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 19, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555 "2009-02-19T15:53:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/281 "2009-02-24T17:12:40Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Or that according to God’s plan, [women were not blessed with common sense](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=10860748#post10860748). That was a corker. I just had an epiphany. **kanicbird** worships a deity who is, frankly, pure unblinking evil. Who sets up Byzantine schemes for the fun of it, who delights in the suffering of his creations, who deliberately arranged things for half of his creations to be mentally retarded, who permits a tiny minority of his children to be saved because that makes it worse for the rest, who thinks nothing of raining flaming hail to punish them for doing something he forced them to do, who makes bets with his arch-enemy over the conduct of his best servant in full knowledge that, in the course of the wager, the servant’s children will all be murdered, and so forth. **kanicbird** lives in a world in which my former alter-ego **Fabulous Creature** is God. Poor **kanicbird**. ---
**Author:** ![katannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@katannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katannah)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/282 "2009-02-24T18:41:47Z")
You forgot the “wholesale mortgaging of other people’s souls to demons while you’re still in the womb is permissible” thing. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/283 "2009-02-24T18:44:30Z")
> [@katannah](#): > > You forgot the “wholesale mortgaging of other people’s souls to demons while you’re still in the womb is permissible” thing. Nah. FabC woulda done that too. He was a right bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/284 "2009-02-24T19:01:35Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Or that according to God’s plan, [women were not blessed with common sense](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=10860748#post10860748). That was a corker. I’d say what I’m thinking…but unfortunately, we’re no longer allowed. ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/285 "2009-02-25T11:12:31Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > In a matter of speaking, yes He is, we are to clothe ourselves with Christ (Ro 13:14) > In doing so become more conformed to His likeness (Ro 8:29). To the point that we become one with Him in a marital relationship relationship between Christ (bridegroom) and the church (bride)(Eph 5:31,32). > > Failure to do this would mean that you didn’t do the work that God had for you AFTER He called you, but when your own way. > > IMHO It is also the reason that we believers get to pray in the name and authority of Jesus, we as the bride of Jesus get to use His name in it’s full authority, just as a (human) bride gets to take the name of her husband, she gets full authority of that name and is fully accepted as a member of that family. How would a person know if God called them? What work would they know was what a God wanted? If God knows all things ahead of time then He would know that some would not hear His call, and it would be like punishing a deaf person because they couldn’t hear. Either God doesn’t know every thing or he likes to play games. Some brides now days keep their own name and in some cases (though rare), the couple decide to keep the woman’s name. No one can in truth say they “know” what God wants. Just what their own desires tell them. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/286 "2009-02-25T16:46:55Z")
> [@monavis](#): > > How would a person know if God called them? What work would they know was what a God wanted? If God knows all things ahead of time then He would know that some would not hear His call, and it would be like punishing a deaf person because they couldn’t hear. Either God doesn’t know every thing or he likes to play games. Of course the Lord of Hosts likes to play games. He commanded David to take a census, then punished him for it. I think what happened there was that David had figured out a way to stay out of trouble, so God manufactured a situation just where he could (a) punish the son of Jesse and (laugh at the look of betrayal on his face. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/287 "2009-02-25T23:11:45Z")
Sorry about that. But I just had a revelation concerning **Kanicbird** that I had to share. The funky shit (there is no other phrase that expresses it so perfectly) that he posts has made me question my own faith a thousand times more than anything any atheist has ever said to me. To wit- If he really believes that funky shit, how can I be sure that my own faith is not just a similar delusion? ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/288 "2009-02-25T23:15:29Z")
I just cannot believe that people are still trying to argue with him. I mean, I know I was bad for arguing with ivan astikov in the gun threads, but either kanicbird is the most devout fundamentalist on the boards or he is the greatest troll ever. Either way, it’s like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/289 "2009-02-25T23:30:30Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Sorry about that. But I just had a revelation concerning **Kanicbird** that I had to share. > > The funky shit (there is no other phrase that expresses it so perfectly) that he posts has made me question my own faith a thousand times more than anything any atheist has ever said to me. > > To wit- If he really believes that funky shit, how can I be sure that my own faith is not just a similar delusion? Don’t worry, dude. I checked you out with my delusio-detector-omatic, and while you are _mistaken_, you’re not a delusional nutjob. I’m not sure how much stock you should put in that, as the DDO insists that I am one. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/290 "2009-02-25T23:51:19Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > To wit- If he really believes that funky shit, how can I be sure that my own faith is not just a similar delusion? It doesn’t matter what your delusion is – it’s your actions that judge the state of your soul. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/291 "2009-02-26T00:00:28Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > It doesn’t matter what your delusion is – it’s your actions that judge the state of your soul. Ah, but do I have a soul or is that just a delusion? You see how shaken to the core I am. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/292 "2009-02-26T00:05:58Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > It doesn’t matter what your delusion is – it’s your actions that judge the state of your soul. [Calvinist hat] Untrue. From the beginning of time, the Lord of Hosts decided which souls (the vast majority–something like 99.9999999999999% – he would condemn to everlasting torment, and which he would bring into Paradise with him as accomplices. [/calvinist hat] ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/293 "2009-02-26T00:17:16Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > [Calvinist hat] > > Untrue. From the beginning of time, the Lord of Hosts decided which souls (the vast majority–something like 99.9999999999999% – he would condemn to everlasting torment, and which he would bring into Paradise with him as accomplices. > > [/calvinist hat] [Universalist Hat]Nonsense. God is too good to damn anyone, and it is therefore our obligation to behave toward each other befitting our Saved state.[/universalist hat] ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/294 "2009-02-26T00:17:27Z")
[Hobbesist hat] C’mon! It’ll be greater than the hamster Huey and the gooey kablooey[/Hobbesist hat] ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/295 "2009-02-26T00:21:16Z")
> [@SisterCoyote](#): > > [Universalist Hat]Nonsense. God is too good to damn anyone, and it is therefore our obligation to behave toward each other befitting our Saved state.[/universalist hat] [King of Sweden hat] The Universalists can never win. At least not the Unitarian Universalists. They’re a bunch of pacifists, and you know who’s afraid of pacifists? The same people who are afraid of the Nobel committee: nobody. [/king of sweden hat] ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/296 "2009-02-26T00:28:51Z")
Universalists, not Unitarian Universalists. I’m not sure what I’d say if I were wearing my UU hat. I suppose, limiting it to the subject we’re discussing, that most UUs are all about works over faith. Inasmuch as one can say most UUs are about anything. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/297 "2009-02-26T00:37:34Z")
> [@SisterCoyote](#): > > Universalists, not Unitarian Universalists. > > I’m not sure what I’d say if I were wearing my UU hat. I suppose, limiting it to the subject we’re discussing, that most UUs are all about works over faith. Inasmuch as one can say most UUs are about anything. My joke only works if I pretend there is no difference. It’s kind of like Bobby Jindal’s speech last night. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/298 "2009-02-26T00:39:00Z")
Actually, your joke worked just fine. My brain is just set on “literal” today. Mostly. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/299 "2009-02-26T00:41:08Z")
> [@SisterCoyote](#): > > Actually, your joke worked just fine. My brain is just set on “literal” today. Mostly. Clearly, as my response to your response was ALSO a joke. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555/300 "2009-02-26T00:56:49Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Clearly, as my response to your response was ALSO a joke. Right. There is obviously too much blood in my alcohol and/or chocolate stream. Perhaps when I remedy this my ability to detect humor will reappear. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-an-idiot/486555.md?page=16)