# kanicbird, you are the stupidest POS I've ever seen **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 13, 2009, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333 "2009-03-13T15:17:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/141 "2009-03-18T10:22:38Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > It’s sort of like an adobe religion. So what are you saying, the entire Universe is Photoshopped? ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/142 "2009-03-18T15:29:54Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > So what are you saying, the entire Universe is Photoshopped? Hell, with my luck it’s a huge fuckin’ pdf. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/143 "2009-03-18T15:40:04Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > So what are you saying, the entire Universe is Photoshopped? I meant adobe like the building material, rather than Adobe like the software company… but yeah, that works too. It’s a montage. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/144 "2009-03-18T21:32:30Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Oh jeez, is kanicbird communicating with pookas now? What did [poor little Pooka](http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Theater/1658/pooka.html) do to deserve that? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/145 "2009-03-19T21:33:27Z")
[Update](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10947814&postcount=106) If EVER, the new Pit rules were a burden, then this is it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/146 "2009-03-20T01:40:11Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > [Update](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10947814&postcount=106) > > If EVER, the new Pit rules were a burden, then this is it. Man that is some fucked up EVIL imagination. He makes Jack Chick look like Bishop Spong. I’m just about ready to believe in demon possession. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/147 "2009-03-20T21:37:59Z")
Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I always thought rape was somehow a bigger evil than abortion. I know, it’s a crazy idea. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/148 "2009-03-20T21:54:25Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I always thought rape was somehow a bigger evil than abortion. I know, it’s a crazy idea. I don’t mean to sound anti-Christian, but there’s probably no way not to in this context. I don’t think the Old Testatment actually considers rape inherently wrong or sinful, not in the way we do now. By current mores, rape is a crime against the person upon whom sex is forced; to the Bronze Age authors of the OT, it was a theft of a father’s or husband’s control of his wife’s sexuality. Consider: [QUOTE=Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NIV] “If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated (anah) her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.” [/QUOTE] Also consider that, in the interminable and detailed catalogue of sexual sins in the Torah, in which incest is defined quite explicitly, there is NO prohibition against a father having sex with his unmarried daughter. And note that there is no condemnation anywhere in the Bible of Lot’s having sex with his daughters; indeed, he is described as a righteous man by St. Peter.\* I don’t mean to imply that the ancient Hebrews were all child molesters, or that father-daughter incest was rampant, or anything like that. I mean that the Old Testament authors would have meant something very different by the word “rape” than we do. \*Oh, and Kanicbird, if you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ll be back to point out that, according to the story, Lot’s daughters were the aggressors in the acts of incest and liquored him up and he “did not know when they lay down or got up.” Yeah, yeah. I’m officially and premptively calling bullshit on that claim, which only escapes being called a transparent and ridiculous lie by the fact that the whole thing is as mythical as the conception of Adonis. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/149 "2009-03-20T22:11:11Z")
But we’re not discussing Biblical law now. We were talking about the rape of a nine year old. **Kanicbird** stated that abortion is the greatest crime ever, and that it is better for a woman to die for her offspring. Did you read the post I quoted? He seems to be saying that getting her an abortion to save her life would traumatize her-but he simply dismisses what happened to her as “not expected and wrong, but the result of a child is a blessing.” Despite that it will kill her, and most likely, the fetuses (I believe she had conceived twins) wouldn’t have survived either. A BLESSING? A fucking BLESSING? He disgusts me, he’s a motherfucking piece of shit, and he can rot in hell for all I care. (And I seem to recall that causing a miscarriage was NOT considered murder in the the Hebrew Bible either. Or am I wrong?) ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/150 "2009-03-20T22:23:13Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > [Update](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10947814&postcount=106) > > If EVER, the new Pit rules were a burden, then this is it. Yes. He is unmitigated scum, at least borderline insane, and most definitely evil. The scary part is, he exists somewhere outside of this message board as a real person, and apparently interacts with actualized humans, even children! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/151 "2009-03-20T22:41:00Z")
Actually, I believe he said he does work with children. Let’s hope he never tells them anything like this. I don’t think those who are pro-life are scum-but people like **Kanicbird** are. Most think exceptions must be made in cases like the one we’re discussing. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/152 "2009-03-20T22:42:10Z")
Whether Kanicbird is a mad prophet or merely spectacularly mad, I hope somebody is keeping a secure record of all this. Either way, future psychologists will pore over it, and they’ll discuss it in classrooms and in coffeeshops. So will theologians, either way. In my own opinion, Kanicbird is barking mad, but in a strangely interesting way. Could any of us have written such a character? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/153 "2009-03-20T23:30:52Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > In my own opinion, Kanicbird is barking mad, but in a strangely interesting way. Could any of us have written such a character? No - I would have killed the computer I was writing it on. And theres a respectable chance that he would have destroyed the story plot becuase the other characters would be too dedicated to arguing with him in increasing rage and disgust for them to get around to actually carrying on the plot. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/154 "2009-03-21T01:00:13Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Oh jeez, is kanicbird communicating with pookas now? That would be an improvement. Harvey was pretty benign. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/155 "2009-03-21T01:17:49Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Whether Kanicbird is a mad prophet or merely spectacularly mad, I hope somebody is keeping a secure record of all this. Either way, future psychologists will pore over it, and they’ll discuss it in classrooms and in coffeeshops. So will theologians, either way. > > In my own opinion, Kanicbird is barking mad, but in a strangely interesting way. Could any of us have written such a character? Not hardly. Kanic is a run of the mill crack pot. Guys like him are a dime a dozen. Walk into any little storefront church and you will find a few like him. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2009, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/156 "2009-03-21T01:24:39Z")
Not really-he’s not all fire and brimstone. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/157 "2009-03-21T18:14:55Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > \*Oh, and Kanicbird, if you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ll be back to point out that, according to the story, Lot’s daughters were the aggressors in the acts of incest and liquored him up and he “did not know when they lay down or got up.” Yeah, yeah. I’m officially and premptively calling bullshit on that claim, which only escapes being called a transparent and ridiculous lie by the fact that the whole thing is as mythical as the conception of Adonis. Just as a side note, why is the claim bullshit? I mean, why are you not willing to accept it in the context of the story? (and, of course, in everyone’s defense, they did think they were the only people left alive in the world. The incest taboo sort of goes out the windown when it comes to repopulating the earth) More to the point, re **kanicbird** , a person either thinks that human life has some sort of inherant value or he doesn’t. A person’s values are going to be different depending on which side of that question he comes down on. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/158 "2009-03-21T18:32:24Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > Just as a side note, why is the claim bullshit? I mean, why are you not willing to accept it in the context of the story? (and, of course, in everyone’s defense, they did think they were the only people left alive in the world. The incest taboo sort of goes out the windown when it comes to repopulating the earth) I guess, in this context, I’m being like the people who complain about Lois Lane and Perry White being genuinely fooled by Clark Kent’s disguise. It’s too much at odds with human nature and the way the universe works. If the story actually happened–which, of couse, I believe it did not–I’d say that Lot is far more likely to have pressured his daughters into sex while intoxicated than to have been so virile he could get it up and impregnate them both, while drunk, and yet be so drunk as to not remember the story. But, of course, the story didn’t happen. It’s only slightly more plausible than Superman catching an airplane by the nose and deposting it in the middleof a baseball diamond without killing everyone onboard. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/159 "2009-03-23T16:00:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I guess, in this context, I’m being like the people who complain about Lois Lane and Perry White being genuinely fooled by Clark Kent’s disguise. It’s too much at odds with human nature and the way the universe works. He’s from another planet, so maybe it was just another Jedi mind trick. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333/160 "2009-03-23T18:13:14Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > He’s from another planet, so maybe it was just another Jedi mind trick. 😉 Pre-Crisis, it was. He had the power of super-hypnosis, and according to one story, because he wanted everyone think of Clark Kent as being frailer than Superman he (subconciously) caused everyone who saw him while wearing glasses & a suit to see him as thinner, someone older, and even slightly balding. This, of course, raised more questions than it answered, such as why the effect worked in photographs, why Lois & Lana still often thought Clark was Superman, and why either of those two hot chicks wanted to go out with the nerd that Clark appeared to me. (Both of them dated Kal as Clark at one point or another). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kanicbird-you-are-the-stupidest-pos-ive-ever-seen/489333.md?page=9)