# Kansas City DopeFest! (And orgy). W/O the orgy.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 28, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465 "2002-06-28T21:43:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)
#### Post date: [June 29, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/21 "2002-06-29T23:51:32Z")
\*\*Crunchy Frog, \*\* I’m not trying to get personal, but are you a guy or a gal? The reason I am asking is because if the trip from St. Louis would put a strain on your budget, I’m sure we could put you up here in Topeka. If you are female I could put you up, if male my folks have a spare room. Call me old fashioned.
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### Author:  [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2002, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/22 "2002-06-30T00:06:35Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Baker \*
> \*\*\*\*Crunchy Frog, \*\* I’m not trying to get personal, but are you a guy or a gal? The reason I am asking is because if the trip from St. Louis would put a strain on your budget, I’m sure we could put you up here in Topeka. If you are female I could put you up, if male my folks have a spare room. Call me old fashioned. \*\*
I can assure you that **Crunchy** is _ **all male.** _. I’d go so far as to say the words “nummy treat” but I don’t want him to think I’m stalking him or anything.
Nope. No stalking going on here.
And if you _do_ have a get-together, you may want to schedule it for after August 9-11th. I’m holding my breath in hopes that a certain nummy treat will grace us with his presence at BamaDope. Not that he’s mentioned such a thing, but I’m working on my subliminal manipulations.
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### Author:  [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2002, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/23 "2002-06-30T00:39:48Z")
Topeka may be a bit far, since I have to watch how much I spend on gas.
I’m currently unemployed, so a weekend would be best for me, so I can be home during the week to answer phone calls, go to interviews, etc, if I’m still looking for work in August.
If I get a job by August, a weekend would probably still be best because I doubt I’d have any immediate vacation time.
In any case, whenever or wherever it is, I’ll only be able to say “maybe” until DopeFest plans are made definite and I know what my situation will be at that time.
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### Author:  [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/24 "2002-06-30T01:59:23Z")
Since I’m salaried I can kind of set my own hours and swap days around as long as it doesn’t interfere with any projects or meetings I’m involved with. My boss is pretty good at doing what I tell him to do.
What does one _do_ at these 'Fests? Do we sit around and barbecue or paint the town red? Not a whole lot to do in Topeka 'cept for the zoo, Gage Park, casinos and strip clubs, though I don’t know much about that last one 'cause I don’t get out of my cave much as Horsewife has started using tempered steel with my leg irons. KC might work out better for **Crunchy Frog** and others that might live in that direction. **Baker** , [here](http://littlebit.iwarp.com/) is a picture of Crunchy on **little\*bit** ’s (one of his many virtual wives) home page just so you know what you might be getting into.
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### Author:  [@psychomonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychomonkey)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2002, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/25 "2002-06-30T04:58:54Z")
Ill go. any day of the week is good. And yeah, closer to KC is a goooood Idea, central isnt always better, especially when it puts you in the middle of no where.
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### Author:  [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2002, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/26 "2002-06-30T10:52:06Z")
…and the monkeys finally show up. Just a matter of time. 🙂
Well I count 4 dopers from Topeka, 1 from KC, 1 from St. Louie, a couple of unknowns, and _The Mysterious One_. 2 location votes for Kansas City. Back to you, **Skip**.
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### Author:  [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/27 "2002-06-30T18:14:48Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Horseflesh \*
> **Baker** , [here](http://littlebit.iwarp.com/) is a picture of Crunchy on \*\*littlebit_’s (one of his many virtual wives) home page just so you know what you might be getting into. \*\*
Damn, **Horseflesh** , where did you dig up that bit of history? Not only is that picture a bit squashed, but it’s at least 7 years old, since that was taken in my dorm room while I was in the Air Force. I remembered the virtual marriage thread, but I’d forgotten that **little\*bit** put that page up.
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### Author:  [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/28 "2002-07-01T03:25:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \*
> \*\*Back to you, **Skip**. \*\*
Nah, you can never tell by a person’s back. I prefer the front. 🙂
Okay folks, take a gander at [this spectacular spreadsheet](http://www.tschirhart.net/kcdopefest.htm) and let me know what I have wrong.
**Crunchy** , I have your preferred city as KC because it’s closest. **Bobkitty** , I may have missed this in your post, but please let us know which city would work best for you. Since **Bobkitty** mentioned August 9th - 11th, I vote we do that. And it looks like the majority of us can make a Sunday. ( **Horseflesh** , I included you on a Sunday because you mentioned that you could, possibly, get that day off. I hope that’s alright.) **Truth** and **Auntie Em** , please let us know which day(s) would work best for you.
As for what one does for a Dopefest…I dunno. 🙂 I suppose we could start a gang and take over the hosting city’s turf, but I’d have to turn in my chains and guns by early Monday morning because they don’t let me use those at work. If not a gang, then perhaps some grub (as in eat some) and um…not sure I ever got past what my stomach wants.
For those who travel, if we do have it in KC, I can host two people. I have a second bedroom and a queen-sized pull-out couch in the living room. Of course, only one bathroom, but what does one expect from a 115 year-old house with a ghost? I also have two cats, so if you’re allergic, don’t breathe whilst you’re here.
Let me know if you have any suggestions and/or corrections!
Damn,
Skippy. 😃
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### Author:  [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/29 "2002-07-01T05:36:09Z")
**Crunchy** - in the last month or so there was a thread asking for submissions for best threads ever (IMHO, I think). Well, one thread led to another and in one **little\*bit** (humina, humina) had a link in her signature entitled ‘Virtual Wife to Crunchy Frog’. The picture is squashed? I was thinking you were deformed maybe. You flyboys certainly are allowed a lot of leeway on your haircut, eh?
**SkipMagic** - I can do Sunday in that timeframe. I like the gang idea (“Dopers, come out and play-ay, ::clink::clink::”), but having a five- and three-year-old with me would just blow the fantasy. Perhaps a game of drunken lawn jarts would be better after all. If I read Crunchy’s name right I see we’d have at least three Python fans there. That can always turn into something fun. And then there’s **auntie em** ’s experimental cheese contortions I’ve been fantasizing about…
P.S. If this doesn’t work out for some reason, seems there’s enough Topekans to get together for… get ready for it… Dopeka! Okay, I just thought that up and needed some excuse to put it in the post. 😛
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### Author:  [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/30 "2002-07-01T06:01:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \*
> **having a five- and three-year-old with me…Perhaps a game of drunken lawn jarts…we’d have at least three Python fans there**
**1.)** We have to use your kids as runners for the jarts. I hope they dodge well.
**2.)** And if they survive the jarts, then we can use them for banging the coconuts together as we go in search of…Castle Anthrax! Because, you know, Midge, Zoot, Piglet, Winston and Dingo (Zoot’s identical twin sister) hang out there. Oh, and they like to spank. (Sorry Doper girls who are neither gay or bi. We’d be on a mission from God. Without the Blues Brothers.)
**3.)**_Dopeka._ Crap. That was crappy. But only because I didn’t think of it myself. 🙂
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### Author:  [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/31 "2002-07-01T13:46:56Z")
Well, it seems Topekans are just oozing out all over the place! Where were all of you people when there was grilling in my back yard?? **Baker** and I had to import **Enderw24** from Lawrence just to get some testosterone into the mix! 😉
By the way, I’m sure that **Ender** would be down with a Dopefest, when he returns from his trip. I’m just not sure when that will be.
Right now, I’d say that weekends (Sat/Sun) are the best days for me (and btw, Topeka is NOT my city of choice for a gathering, unless we want to go to Golden Corral–I vote for Lawrence or Kansas City). Things are a bit up in the air until I hear about that teaching gig, which would start on Aug. 12. In Atchison.
I don’t know that that makes a whole lotta difference, but if I’m going to have to:
a) Sell my house
b) Find a house in Atchison
c) Move, and
d) Buy a bra
ALL before August 12, I will definitely be needing some alcohol at the Dopefest. 😉
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### Author:  [@shannybonanny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shannybonanny)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/32 "2002-07-01T13:58:10Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \*
> Now, let’s say we do move it to Topeka (my laziness gene is rebelling, people–you should see the drool and the shaking hands going on over here; and I’m not even on a date!), **Shannybonanny** and **Horseflesh** have conflicting schedules. Would either of you be willing to possibly change your availability?
Absolutely. Actually, just change my availability to “whenever” and I’ll make time. I’m easy. 🙂
On preview, I’ll second **auntie em** about Topeka not being my first choice as a get-together city. Unless we rented a shelterhouse at Shawnee Lake, or something.
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### Author:  [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/33 "2002-07-01T14:15:23Z")
HA! My kids would either snatch said jarts and hide behind a bush to eat them or would throw them back at us instead of handing them over. Perhaps if we used alcohol _and_ blindfolds things would get interesting…
Castle Anthrax you say? Zoot would be there? (rrowrr, rrowrr, uhh-ruff-ruff, ah-ooga, ah-ooga, boing-oing-oing-g-g-g.) Nah, last time I was escorted out because I was in terrible peril. They checked me out on SCMODS. The noive.
And on preview I see **auntie em** has beaten me to post a reply. You prolly had your grill before I was a member. Perhaps we can have a DopeMove to help you out. I can help critique your bra purchases as well. 😃
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### Author:  [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/34 "2002-07-01T14:25:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by auntie em \*
> **Buy a bra**
No, really, I should post this on the “Unofficial SDMB Members Photos Site”. I’m sure there’s no limit of adoring fans who would be willing to help you out here.
[QUOTE]
_Originally posted by Shannybonanny_
**I’m easy.**
[QUOTE]
Now, dear, save it for the Dopefest. So sense in giving away your secrets just yet. 🙂 :d&r:
Okay, the spreadsheet has been updated [here.](http://www.tschirhart.net/kcdopefest.htm)
So far it looks like the 'fest can be held on August 11th (we’ll get you nice and slushed before work, **'Em** ) and in KC (Victory! I’ve said my prayers to PotatoCouchGuy, the Greek god of laziness and they have been answered!) We can meet at Shawnee Mission Park or we can meet at my house or we can do the bar thing (limited because of **Horseflesh’s** cute little rugrats) or we can do the restaurant/bar thing or we can help **Auntie Em** with the bra thing or we can, even, help **Shannybonanny** with being easy. :eek:
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### Author:  [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/35 "2002-07-01T15:01:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \*
> \*\*Yeah? Well at least us NE Kansans got the only [missile silo turned into an LSD lab](http://cjonline.com/webindepth/missilesilos/stories/111900_lsdlab.shtml) in the world. How’s THAT for notoriety? Sadly, it won’t be on the DopeFest tour. \*\*
That’s my town bay-beee! What an embarassment to have cops _protecting_ an LSD lab!! lol. That silo was just down the street from my in-laws and I remember when it got busted.
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### Author:  [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/36 "2002-07-01T15:05:44Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Kiki \*
> \*\*I remember when it got busted. \*\*
_Another_ comment about **Auntie Em’s** bra? Sheesh, I thought I’d be the only one without class. 🙂
Kiki–are you frothing at the mouth wanting to join us for the Dopefest? (By the way, I think that if we do have it in KC, we should call it “Dopeka” regardless. After all, **Horseflesh** gave us a pretty damn cool name.
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### Author:  [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/37 "2002-07-01T16:17:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*Another comment about Auntie Em’s bra? Sheesh, I thought I’d be the only one without class.
\*\*
I had no hand in **Auntie Em’s** bra busting, I swear! 🙂
I wouldn’t say I was frothing at the mouth to go to the Doperfest but thinking about it makes my naughty parts tingle. :eek: j/k
Actually, I’d love to go to a Doperfest someday but I don’t wanna go all the way to KC. Now… if it were in Topeka on a Saturday morning/early afternoon I could swing it 'cause it’s not as far away and I could have the kids home in time for their nap. 😉 Of course, August 11 is still quite a ways away so maybe something will change between now and then and I’ll actually be able to make it!
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### Author:  [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/38 "2002-07-01T16:20:46Z")
I dunno, **Skip**. We might have to call it Dope-_Freaka_ what with all the cheese, bras flying around, subtle MP and BB references, psychotic monkeys and whatnot. And now a Wamegan/Wamegonite/whatever gets thrown in the mix? I can’t even imagine the chaotic jocularity that will ensue.
And BTW, **auntie em** , the utlimate test for a bra is if it will snap snugly under your chin when worn on the head. Otherwise the doll won’t come to life.
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### Author:  [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/39 "2002-07-01T16:24:48Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \*
> \*\*And BTW, **auntie em** , the utlimate test for a bra is if it will snap snugly under your chin when worn on the head. Otherwise the doll won’t come to life. \*\*
Oingo-Boingo, baby!
\*(Bits of) my creation–Is it real?
It’s my creation–I do not know\*
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### Author:  [@RickyRicardoIII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickyRicardoIII)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2002, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-and-orgy-w-o-the-orgy/116465/40 "2002-07-01T16:29:53Z")
I’m from KC – would love to participate.
Turns head and coughs.
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