# Kansas City Dopefest II (This time, bring clothes.) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 30, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598 "2003-05-30T18:49:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/181 "2003-07-25T05:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by SkipMagic_ > **And here I was gonna let you two take one of Horseflesh’s rugrats home (one each, that is) as a kind of door prize (as opposed to the actual door).** One 6 year old male monstrosity; needs watering and constant influx of Happy Meals. One 4-ish female Gestapo Barbie; requires fluffy kittens and Play-doh for sustenance. Thank you, **Skip** , but if it’s all the same just put my name in for the door. I can also bring a folding table and a few more chairs if it’s needed. Maybe some decks of cards, frisbees, lawn jarts…? Did we decide if everyone was bringing something to gorge ourselves with afterwards or was it only those precious few that can actually make edible foodstuffs? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/182 "2003-07-25T10:19:16Z")
**Horseflesh** , I’d say bring whatever you do or don’t feel like bringing. But a small table would be nice. I can bring goodies but I don’t have a table. What do **Horsefoal** and **Horsefilly** like to play with? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/183 "2003-07-25T15:38:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*What do Horsefoal and Horsefilly like to play with? \*\* Anything in this reality that will cause the other to whine or screech. 😉 I prefer durable, brightly colored, single-piece objects like balls, frisbees or anvils that can withstand the F5 forces of my offspring and won’t hurt if they hit you in the head. Remember last year’s croquet mallet debacle? You know, **Baker** , I forgot you worked at the library. I should have stopped by before now to at least visit. I hereby punish myself by making this a 6-cookie-only day instead of the usual 7. Anybody want to come with me on a pantry raid ( ← clever word play, eh?) of Baker’s pies? Now that I think about it, last year’s DopeFest thread had plenty of off-color witticisms about human body parts and underwear. Except for **SkipMagic** ’s alleged bustiness, I see no such banter here. Come on people, this is the Straight Dope! We gots ta know the TRUTH! ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/184 "2003-07-25T16:43:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > Now that I think about it, last year’s DopeFest thread had plenty of off-color witticisms about human body parts and underwear. Except for **SkipMagic** ’s alleged bustiness, I see no such banter here. Come on people, this is the Straight Dope! We gots ta know the TRUTH! \*\* So, **Horseflesh** what do you want to know about my body parts and underwear? I will answer all questions as honestly as I can ( for a small fee of coarse ) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/185 "2003-07-25T16:45:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by misstee \* > \*\*So, **Horseflesh** what do you want to know about my body parts and underwear? > > I will answer all questions as honestly as I can ( for a small fee of coarse ) 😃 \*\* I sure hope your body parts and underwear aren’t coarse. That starts to chafe after a while. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/186 "2003-07-25T17:21:12Z")
d’oh I meant of _course_. Its been a long week, can you all forgive me? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/187 "2003-07-25T17:28:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by misstee \* > \*\*Its been a long week, can you all forgive me? \*\* Only if you keep talking about your underwear (now that _that_ problem’s been smoothed out). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/188 "2003-07-25T18:05:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*Only if you keep talking about your underwear (now that _that_ problem’s been smoothed out). 😉 \*\* _giggle, giggle_ that was funny. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/189 "2003-07-25T18:15:17Z")
**SkipMagic** , what is the new and improved updated list of those who will be there? I need to get started on the cookies I will be bringing. I have to make at least 4 times what I need to bring. The kids will have to have some, hubby will have to have some, I will have to take some to work. You guys are getting the best batch. From reading on here, I have a lot to worry about. **auntie em** and **Baker** are food gurus, they both sound like they have forgotten more about cookie making than I ever knew. Well, I better get my underwearless self ready for work. ( I just got out of the shower.) ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/190 "2003-07-25T18:45:52Z")
**SkipMagic auntie em Gary T Enderw24 misstee withaK Baker Erika psychomonkey elmwood Mirror Image egamI rorriM ouisey toofargone** (possibly–he/she mentioned maybe going on the first page) **MamaHen** **sperfur Wikkit** **Horseflesh** Horsefilly Horsefoal (props to **Baker** for these names!) **Lilacs** (also a “maybe”) **w0rdsmith** _The Unnamed One_ Still a sizeable number, especially when compared to last year’s Dopefest (not that I’m complaining, mind you). Looks like more people to whom I can try and sell Amway… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/191 "2003-07-25T20:53:43Z")
**Skip Magic** if you’re going to bring Amway into it I wouldn’t eat the cookie I hand you. Heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/192 "2003-07-25T23:49:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by misstee \* > \*\*Well, I better get my underwearless self ready for work. ( I just got out of the shower.) \*\* Hmmmm. Naked and wet and sitting in front of the computer, eh? That’ll get you 5 Princess Points right off the bat. Any other takers? I got lotsa Points to give out. (Don’t even bother trying, **Skip**.) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/193 "2003-07-25T23:56:47Z")
Oh, I almost forgot to ask **Gary T** : Will you be bringing your musical instrument and playing in time with the weather like last year? That was cool. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/194 "2003-07-26T02:44:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*Last year we met on a Sunday and it seemed to fit well for the majority of folks. In fact, we had quite a few Dopers skip church, renounce their god, invert their holy signs and grown horns and tails just so they wouldn’t miss the Dopefest. I really, really think you guys can learn to sacrifice a little, too. 🙂 \*\* I’ll be skipping church, but as I helped out four evening this week with Vacation Bible School will that make up for it? It doesn’t? Oh well. I suppose I could go to the _early_ service. Grumble grumble. Oh, and I had an evil idea. Anybody got a dart board? One of the ones with _sharp_ darts, not those wussy soft things? I still have an enlarged photo of Fred Phelps that some of us once drew number rings on. Bullseye was his nose. Or am I being a bad example for the kids? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/195 "2003-07-26T05:20:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*Oh, and I had an evil idea. Anybody got a dart board? One of the ones with _sharp_ darts, not those wussy soft things? I still have an enlarged photo of Fred Phelps that some of us once drew number rings on. Bullseye was his nose. Or am I being a bad example for the kids? \*\* How exactly is this an evil idea again? I think lawn jarts would come in _really_ handy in this game. /\_/\ \<----- **Baker** ’s horns just got taller. | \* \* | \ – / ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/196 "2003-07-26T15:24:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*Oh, I almost forgot to ask **Gary T** : Will you be bringing your musical instrument and playing in time with the weather like last year? That was cool. \*\* Yeah, I just hope the weather can still keep time. And I’d really like not getting drenched with rain–though if the past month’s accuracy rate for prediction of rain continues, we’ll stay dry. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/197 "2003-07-26T16:10:57Z")
Ok, I confess to being lazy, I did not go back through to find out what kind of musical instrument **Gary T** plays. So, what is it? Will you be setting a hat out to collet funds from passersby? Are you good enough to make lunch? Maybe we should go to the park _before_ we go have lunch. I better get started on those cookies now! ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/198 "2003-07-26T16:15:18Z")
Err, that is _collect_ ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/199 "2003-07-26T18:06:11Z")
**misstee** , **GaryT** plays a guitar. Very well I might add. And I like the way you think. We could have **Horseflesh** bring two outfits for his kids. One must be all raggedy. Put them out. looking suitably pathetic and hungry, by their “dad”. I’ll bet we _could_ make out lunch money that way. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598/200 "2003-07-26T18:43:22Z")
Thank you, Baker (blush). Truth-in-advertising regulations compel me to clarify that I’m a singer who strums chords, rather than a guitar virtuoso. Since the Horsekids look kinda cute, maybe we could put them in darling outfits and just sell them outright\*. That way we could afford the deluxe lunch. \*Legal only because the sale wouldn’t stick. When the overoptimistic purchaser(s) come back begging to return the younguns, we can also assess a processing fee for that. Actually, I remember them as sweet kids. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kansas-city-dopefest-ii-this-time-bring-clothes/178598.md?page=11)