Kazam! You're 14 years old again, back home, but knowing what you know now

In My Humble Opinion
61

Assuming that I’m living life over from that point on I’d remind 14-year-old me:

  • You will get taller than the 4’8" you are now, promise.
  • Little brother will become a lot more fun to be around soon, so hang on.
  • Spend more time with Grampy, since he’ll die in 4 years.
  • When you’re 23 Boy A admit he fancies boys a lot more than girls, so just think platonic thoughts.
    -Don’t listen to the guidance councilor about taking Algebra II. The college you’ll go to doesn’t require it, and it’ll sink your GPA.
  • Don’t room with Heather.
  • You won’t like journalism as a major, nor end up wanting to teach English. Don’t take Logic or Astronomy.
  • Guess what! Work-study earnings don’t need to be included on the FASA.
  • Boy B drinks and lies.
  • You might as well do a second year of Americorps*VISTA and knock off more $ from your student loans.
  • Hard work at your job after A*V will get you no where, so don’t stick around.
62

Woa, 14? There is so much I could do, so much I could change with my life. Or wait, no, that was 4 years ago. That is like asking what regrets I have with high school, and that comes down to “probably none.”

Maybe would have partied more, tried to make better friends, tried to hook up more, and all those things, but probably not. It was a good four years.

All I really wish I had done was taken drama classes and join the drama club. Still, I didn’t at the time because I had atleast one meeting everyday, sometimes two or more. Never had enough time for drama.

Might have also stuck with art more, but there was no where to go with it. The teachers at my school sucked, and there was only so much I could teach myself.

Oh, I have got one: soccer. I was on the team as a freshman, but I didn’t take it too seriously. As it turns out, I absolutely love soccer. Nothing quite like being on a field during a game, then running around for 90 minutes kicking whatever moves. Man, do I miss that feeling. Now there really is nowhere for me to go with it, except for possibly intermurals at school.

4 years isn’t enough time to change your life in anyway, not even if your name is Billy Pilgrim.

63

LOL. I hated high school, too, but I think the second time around would be quite a bit better if only because at least you know it’s all a mindfuck. In a lot of ways, I think that army bullshit was a lot better than high school bullshit, because in the army, you know it’s bullshit. You know that no matter what you do or how hard you try, you’re gonna get dropped for pushups, you’re gonna get KP, and you’re gonna get screamed at. You don’t take it to heart like you do in high school.

On that note, if I were 14 again?

I wouldn’t worry about growing up in some shitty little Pennsylvania farmtown with crazy parents. I would realize that Cowfuck, PA was not the real world, and the real world was actually a lot nicer and easier to get along with than Cowfuck, PA.

I would teach myself math beginning with algebra and going through calculus. I would get as much done before having to take math in high school, which leeches all the fun out of it.

I would threaten to break my dad’s arms if he touched me or my siblings again. Then I would go ahead and do it when he inevitably called my bluff (My father was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.). My record would be expunged four years later, and he might still be rotting in jail.

I would learn basic auto mechanic and home computer skills so that I wouldn’t starve to death before graduating college.

I would make it my goal to get into fights every day for a month, just to learn how not to be afraid of being hurt or humilated (I was soooooo pissed off when I found out there was no such thing as a permanent record.).

I would start saving money, so that I could have enough to move to Northern California after the military (which, btw, I would do before college).

64

I’ve been pondering this question and wondered about the same thing that people have said, what good things would I lose by changing bad ones? Now, if we take that out of the equation…

First thing I would do is insist that my mother let me get my GED early. I was homeschooled and even though I was more than ready for the test at 14 she made me wait a few years.
I would also start getting college credit as early as possible.
I would leave home earlier, I moved out on my 20th birthday. If I had that degree already by 18 things might have been better for me.
I would get diagnosed for bipolar and start meds, I would get diagnosed for IBS sooner (even though there wasn’t anything really helpful yet at that time)
I would not date my first BF. That was a mistake.
The 2nd was also a mistake. Even though it caused me major heartache it was still not a bad 4 years. I would however not buy a house in my name only with him.
I would try and maintain a good relationship with my parents. Although I’m not sure what I could do to fix the problems.

65

Read, read, read, read, read, read.

Oh, wait. That’s what I did anyway.

I still fantasize about living rent free with just high-school homework to do, and having all that time to reeeeaaaadddd . . . Mmmmm . . .

I wouldn’t take school quite as seriously this time around. I’d pay close attention in History and Chemistry, because those are my weakest subjects, but the rest of it, pfffft, I basically know it already. Gawd, math class is going to be boring.

I’d devote some extra energy to paying attention to what people are wearing around me, and how they cut their hair, and that crap, and try to look like less of a dork. Thank Og I know how to put on makeup now. That’ll be useful. If the “be less of a dork” plan fails, I think I’ll just cultivate a “possibly explosively violent” reputation instead of the “completely pathetic” thing I had going on the first time 'round, so people will leave me alone.

I’d take up a sport, or maybe just start running on my own. I was a little overweight at 14, but not much, but 14 would be a great time to get serious about fitness.

And I think I would want think seriously about something other than science, like writing maybe. If I do end up doing the astronomy thing, I might try to get in on the astrobiology bandwagon early. Like, everybody would all be telling me that astrobiology was a stupid thing to do, and that I should waste my career, and use phrases like “giggle factor.” And I’d just smile, and say, “You’re probably right.” Or if not astrobiology, then whatever, but I’d pick a specialty and start concentrating on it EARLY, which is what my more successful contemporaneous colleagues did.

66

Not telling the year. I’m old enough to be sensitive about that!!

Maybe not eat so much so I wouldn’t get fat and become anorexic later. Maybe be less hostile and nerdy with the girls at my school so I’d actually have some friends and be socialized better in the years to come. Maybe be nicer to my sister.

That’s about all. Probably would have helped, but on the other hand, therapy has helped a hell of a lot too. :smiley:

67

Oh, damn, I forgot the most important thing!

I would be nicer to my mother.

And also to my my little sister. Yeah, she was insufferable, but she’s going to turn out okay.

68

  1. Try to have a less miserable time in high school, if possible. Actually, this should be quite doable, since I now know that I am capable of having friends, and have a clue how to interact with others. Nevertheless, I already had a reputation for weirdness and general geekery at fourteen that would be hard to shake off.

  2. Do the work in all of my classes, not just the ones I liked. (On second thought, maybe not. I made it to a perfectly good college and grad school despite being a lazy, rebellious little screw-up, so there’s not much point in NOT being one.)

  3. Be nicer to my mother.

  4. Be nicer to my college roommates.

  5. Not make embarrassing confessions of love to a number of people, as I will know perfectly well that none of them will ever return my feelings.

  6. Take fuller advantage of my semester abroad: spend more time hanging out with actual Spanish people, and do some traveling afterward. Also, take a different way home after the last time I change money so as to avoid being mugged.

  7. When my grandmother takes me to England in July of 1997, obtain as many copies as possible of the first edition of an obscure children’s book called Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

  8. Run like hell from the guy who asks me out in the fall of my senior year in college. Assuming I succeed at #1, I will probably have had at least one other boyfriend by then anyway, and will not be desperate for the experience.

  9. Post fewer embarrassing confessions of various sorts to the Internet.

  10. Start going to conferences and thinking about publishing at the beginning of my grad school career, rather than the end.

69

I’d know that I’d wind up looking and acting like a guy in his mid-30s. I know that, as horrified as I was by the changes in my teenage body, and as awkward as that felt, it’s practically all downhill from there. In short, I’d probably kill myself. Better to face the future with blinders. All of life is never knowing you had it so good. I bet really knowing would be unbearable. Aging and mortality are best left to the ignorant. Memory is probably fonder than foresight.

70

1974

I’d know to stop wasting my time trying to get my immediate family’s acceptance and come out in a BIG way. Guess that would mean I coulda saved alot of dough on psychotherapy to figure out that it wasn’t ME that was screwed up, but THEM…

And I’d probably keep in touch with most of my cousins who turned out to be really cool about me being Gay… I wouldn’t have had to have hid my life for 10 years because my parents threatened to cut me out of their will…

Oh, and I’d make sure I call the cops to report my father for abuse… Not that they were that good at dealing with it in 1974, but at least it would be down on paper…

71

The year is 1984. I would:

  1. Be nicer to people in general.
  2. Spend more time with my grandmother.
  3. Work a little harder in school – geez, I hope that my adult mind could do pretty well with just a bit more work.
  4. Note to self: french kissing (in and of itself) will most likely not result in pregnancy, feel free to loosen up a little.

I don’t think I would try to make predictions or place bets (I’m not even sure I know where to place bets now) … that just seems like a lot of work. I would, however, be strategic in buying a few copies of first editions of books.

I think I could re-live high school without changing too many major things in life, while at the same time having more fun. When we get to college though, that’s when I have a mental breakdown while trying to figure out what things I have to do that will lead to the nice things about my life now, without re-living some pretty awful times.

72

Everything’s the same, except that I know everything I now do?

Then I’d still be fat and awkward with greasy hair and bad skin.

I still wouldn’t have any money.

I’d still be a brand new freshman in a high school where I didn’t know anyone else.

Oh, but I’d know a lot more. That’s going to make me a lot more popular with the kids who beat me up every week.

73

Maybe so, maybe no. You want me to come rescue you if your plan doesn’t work?

Well, it won’t be me PERSONALLY rescuing you. That’s mercenary labor and I’m a mercenary manager. But I’ll get you out of the pokey if you say to.

For a price.

74

Smoke pot in the morning.

EVERYone does that stuff at night. Who’d get caught doing that in the morning?

75

Now, I interpreted this question completely differently. See, I think that I hit my peak, intelligence-wise, at about age 15. Of course, I’ve learned a lot since then, and I’m still learning. So my overall mental capability is still, I think, increasing… But it’s not as smooth and well-oiled as it once was. But if I could have the advantage of my years of college and grad school, crammed into my brain as it worked in my teens… I could accomplish a lot. I don’t know what, exactly (since I don’t actually have my full education in a teenaged brain), but it’d be big.

That said, though, in the spirit of the other responses, there is one thing I might change: My freshman year of high school. The school I was at was not a good place for me, in a great many ways. Getting kicked out at the end of the year was one of the best things that ever happened to me, since I ended up landing in the best school in the city (which I hadn’t even considered, previously) after that. If I’d known that in advance, I could have gone to Benedictine in the first place, and have had four great years of high school, not just three. It wouldn’t even be a difficult decision, like some folks are talking about: I really didn’t have any friends at school my freshman year that I’d be missing out on.

76

I would have gotten a job as soon as legally possible.

I’d have saved up ALL the lunch money I got over my 4 years of High School. 20 bucks a week times nine months times four years is $2,880 That alone would net me 2.8 grand by the time I graduated. And believe me, I needed that money.

I would have worked my ass off in High School to get better grades and I would have joined the band and as many extracurricular activities as I could squeeze into my day. My chances of finding a girlfriend back then would have been exponentially increased.

My parents foolish choices were probably unstoppable regardless of what I’d have done, but I’d have tried nevertheless.

My mother netted about 35 grand from selling an internet domain name. I would urge her on an unceasing basis to invest some of that for my college education and to get a job sooner rather than live off that money for a year and drain it by going back and forth across the country to visit her soon to be husband who later turns out to be gay.

My dad’s choice of women is probably unavoidable, but I’d do my best to keep my stuff from being stolen and if I can’t do that I’d install a hidden camera and take the evidence to the authorities.

77

I think 14 year-olds should read this thread.

78

1982

Hmm… Tape a few Johnny Most broadcasts of the 80’s Celtics.

In High School, I wouldn’t make any changes about my academics - no regrets there. But Og love a duck, I’d do more to try to do things with classmates in highschool. And I wouldn’t fixate on Erin E. Sure she was safe, since she thought I was slime, but safe isn’t all that great, yanno. I’d ask out a number of girls whom I never let myself realize could have been possible.

After high school I’d have to make a serious choice: Do I go into the Navy straight out of HS or try college? I can see advantages to both options. I really don’t know which I’d do. But whichever I do end up choosing - don’t screw 'em up like I did. Be more open to being diagnosed with depression.

Talk more to my grandfather before the Alzheimer’s takes him away from us. Try to get his memoires into notebooks.

See if I can start up a correspondance with a few neat people: Grace Hopper, Donald ‘Kirby’ Ross, R. A. Heinlein, Jim Henson, Richard Feynman.

Make more of an effort to save money, and try to get stocks for companies I know will do well: Amazon, Yahoo, Microsoft, etc.

Make a point at 7:55 AM September 11, 2001 to call the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, telling them that I’ve planted bombs in both of the twin towers, which will go off at 9:30 AM.

Bike more often. See if I can train Duke to CD. Tell my sister that I know she’s smart more often.

Above all, knowing what I know now would be relaxing - compared to how angry I was then. (This is not to say that I’m not still facing problems with anger, just that it’s far less a concern now.)

79

I disagree. I’d only sting the big national franchises - Ladbrokes and so on - who make a ton of money off sink-estate deadbeats who can’t afford it, and I might even be in a position to engage in a little philanthropy (which is always better done with someone else’s money).

Enlarging on my earlier question, I need to make a trusty contact - I can probably think of one - to put some bets on for me between 1974 and 1978. An accurate prediction of the thorough hosing a strongly-fancied England cricket team are in for in Australia at the end of the year should do for a start. Then the big ones are probably:

[ul]The various cricket World Cups in the coming years. (Not so hot on football - even FA Cups or World Cups)
[li]UK to have a woman prime minister before the end of the decade[/li][li]In the Queen’s silver jubilee year, 1977, the following highly-sentimental sporting occurrences as an accumulator:[ol]Virginia Wade to win women’s singles at Wimbledon[]Red Rum to win the Grand National for the third time[]England to regain the Ashes[*]Geoff Boycott to return to the international XI and score his hundredth hundred in a Test[/ul][/li][li]HM Elizabeth the Queen Mother to live to be 100[/li][li]Pope John Paul I to die within the year and his successor also to take the name John Paul[/li][li]HRH Prince Charles to marry Lady Diana Spencer in July 1981[/li][li]Wait to bet on Thatcher’s re-election until the 1981 riots are at their height[/li][/ol]

And buy Microsoft shares, obviously. A stake in Bloomsbury circa 1997 wouldn’t hurt either.
Scope for actual self-improvement while all this money-making is going on is almost limitless, naturally…

80

The ability to say “answer” instead of “question” wouldn’t hurt, for that matter.