# Keanu Reeves could not kick Jet Li's ass, who agrees? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 10, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855 "2003-06-10T13:51:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/21 "2003-06-10T19:15:32Z")
Keanu Reeves couldn’t kick Sara Lee’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![wakimika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f08c70/32.png) [@wakimika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wakimika)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/22 "2003-06-10T19:47:46Z")
In fairness to Reeves, when told of Joel (I am given to insane hyperbole) Silver’s remarks, he said that Joel was very kind but the idea was preposterous. I don’t remember what interview I read that it in, but I’m sure it’s eminently googlable. The Wachowski brothers had a part scripted for Jet Li in the original Matrix but, already over budget, they could not afford to add him to the cast. Too bad, Jet Li would have been great. Maybe even as an agent. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/23 "2003-06-10T19:57:31Z")
[Devil’s Advocate][hyperbole=on] Isn’t Jet Li like 3’ 6" tall and 50# soaking wet? Sure, he’s way more skilled, but Keanu only needs to hit him once to crumple him. Even if Li gets 50% more effectiveness out of his punches, it’s still like having my 10 y.o. daughter punch you. [/Devil’s Advocate][hyperbole=off] Who’s going to take me seriously? ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/24 "2003-06-10T20:43:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by D\_Odds \* > \*\*[Devil’s Advocate][hyperbole=on] > Isn’t Jet Li like 3’ 6" tall and 50# soaking wet? Sure, he’s way more skilled, but Keanu only needs to hit him once to crumple him. Even if Li gets 50% more effectiveness out of his punches, it’s still like having my 10 y.o. daughter punch you. > [/Devil’s Advocate][hyperbole=off] > > Who’s going to take me seriously? \*\* Sorry, but I disagree with this. Even if Keanu is stronger, which I doubt, Li is faster and far more supple. He’ll be able to dodge any strikes directed towards him, and give a decent one back to finish Keanu off. Hopefully, the finishing blow will be a kick to the top of the head with an x-ray scene like the final fight in Romeo Must Die. Why dont we actually organise this fight, instead of debating this? (Well, it’s not much of a debate since the overwhelming majority here realise that Li would be victorious in this hypothetical battle) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/25 "2003-06-10T22:24:58Z")
Keanu couldn’t kick Peggy Lee’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Peg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Peg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peg)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/26 "2003-06-10T22:32:36Z")
Maybe we should ask the Mods to retitle this thread to Keanu couldn’t kick \_\_\_\_'s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/27 "2003-06-11T00:01:41Z")
Keanu couldn’t kick Stan Lee’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![thi6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@thi6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thi6)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/28 "2003-06-11T00:07:38Z")
Keanu couldn’t kick hyperbole’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![heid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heid)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/29 "2003-06-11T00:24:45Z")
Keanu Reeves could not kick Jet Li’s ass on the ass kickingest day of his life with an electrified ass kicking machine! ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/30 "2003-06-11T00:47:45Z")
Excellent first post **heid**. I might just have to use this as a sig now… ---
**Author:** ![Govindha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5fc32e/32.png) [@Govindha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Govindha)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/31 "2003-06-11T01:08:43Z")
Pretend my name is witty, are you serious about what you said? Forgive me for saying this, but you must be a schmuck. Getting hit by jet li would be like getting hit by multiples of your daughter. You think size indicates the strength and power of a punch? You must know very little about martial arts. Bruce Lee was somewhat small as well. Do you think it would be like getting hit by a child to have been hit by him? Think again my friend.Think again… Also, why is it that you all seem to think keanu is a wimp? Sure he couldn’t be li, but he isn’t a small guy. He certainly doesn’t seem dumb, despite how you judge an accent… ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/32 "2003-06-11T01:25:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Govindha \* > \*\*Pretend my name is witty, are you serious about what you said? Forgive me for saying this, but you must be a schmuck. > Getting hit by jet li would be like getting hit by multiples of your daughter. You think size indicates the strength and power of a punch? You must know very little about martial arts. Bruce Lee was somewhat small as well. Do you think it would be like getting hit by a child to have been hit by him? Think again my friend.Think again… > > Also, why is it that you all seem to think keanu is a wimp? Sure he couldn’t be li, but he isn’t a small guy. He certainly doesn’t seem dumb, despite how you judge an accent… \*\* I’m sorry, but if this impression was given across in my previous posts, it wasn’t intended. And no, I’m not a ‘schmuck’, at least not for this reason. I dont think this at all! I have an under-21 black belt in kenpo karate, and have at least a foot in height on my instructor. He’s not a big guy, but he can hit very hard. I haven’t yet gone back and checked what I said, but shall after I’ve written this. I thought my point was that the strength of any punch was determined by speed, as it’s the damage you do in a very short contact period of time that matters. I’m sorry, but I dont know very little about martial arts, and I’m sorry if my posts gave across this impression! Cheers, Harry ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/33 "2003-06-11T01:29:11Z")
Right, now I have gone back and checked, I can’t find anything that I think would give such an impression posted under my moniker. If I have given this impression, then rest assured that it’s not my opinion. Either you or I must be mistaken. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/34 "2003-06-11T01:40:51Z")
**Govindha** , I think you’re getting posts by **Pretend My Name Is Witty** and **D\_Odds** confused. Also **D\_Odds** post was pretty obviously a joke. ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/35 "2003-06-11T01:44:20Z")
Thanks **Porcupine** , after giving my serious replies to **Govindha** , I realised that this was most likely what had been done. Li would still win though, he’d kick his ass. That is final. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/36 "2003-06-11T01:57:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pretend My Name Is Witty \* > \*\*I’ve not yet seen Fist Of Legend, **Sublight** , I’ve not been able to find a copy anywhere, I guess I should check out Amazon. > > Romeo Must Die is one of my favourite films though, along with the Once Apon A Time In China trilogy. > > Thankyou all for agreeing with me how much of a tool the producer is for suggesting such foolishness. \*\* Here’s the data for it from the imdb. According to their links, it’s available on VHS from Amazon. [http://us.imdb.com/Details?0110200](http://us.imdb.com/Details?0110200) ---
**Author:** ![Govindha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5fc32e/32.png) [@Govindha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Govindha)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/37 "2003-06-11T02:28:37Z")
Ahh geeze…I’m the schmuck. I sincerely apologize. I was in a rush and your name was on my mind. :smack: Also to clarify, d odds is also a schmuck for posting that, kidding or not. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/38 "2003-06-11T03:02:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Peg \* > \*\*I think Jet Li would have played … is it Seraph? Whatever, the bodyguard guy. He passed for some reason - maybe not big enough role, maybe doesn’t want to get stuck in yet another martial arts flick. > \*\* Li gets about $13 - 15 million per movie. Appearantly no compromise could be made on his salary that would not have thrown the whole salary structure for the movie out of whack. I don’t know what else he has done besides _The One_ during the time he could have been working on the _Matrix_ sequels. ---
**Author:** ![Nightime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nightime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightime)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/39 "2003-06-11T03:22:36Z")
I don’t know if Keanu could take him, but Jet Li is not very impressive in real life. Wushu is not really a fighting style. Wushu is more like an art or a sport - It is for show, not real fighting. In fact, Jet Li has never once in his entire life participated in a full contact tournament. He is an actor, not a fighter. He also uses wires and camera tricks for his movies. He would get destroyed by a real fighter. But don’t take my word for it. Jet Li himself admitted as much: “I never say I’m the good fighter in the world. I’m just a martial artist, an athlete. I make some movies. I’m just a normal guy. I play the role,” he says with a laugh. “I’m not a tough guy. Anybody can beat me up. It’s very easy.” - Jet Li ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/40 "2003-06-11T04:01:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by green\_bladder \* > \*\*Reeves couldn’t kick Pamela Lee’s ass \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by green\_bladder \* > \*\*Shit… I meant Keanu Reeves, not Christopher Reeve! Just to clear up any misunderstanding. But you knew that. Ok, I’ll leave now. \*\* Hey, that’s OK. Christopher Reeves would also have trouble with Pam these days. He could still take Keanu, though. He’d roll up to Keanu and start an intelligent conversation, causing Keanu’s head to explode. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855.md?page=3)