# Keanu Reeves could not kick Jet Li's ass, who agrees? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 10, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855 "2003-06-10T13:51:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/41 "2003-06-11T04:02:12Z")
Keanu couldn’t kick the ass of a 6 year old wearing Lee press-on nails. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_the\_CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_the\_CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_the_CC)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/42 "2003-06-11T04:05:03Z")
Keanu couldn’t kick the ass of Bruce Lee!! … yeah… ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/43 "2003-06-11T11:32:38Z")
Keanu couldn’t kick Mel Gibson’s ass. In the filming of Lethal Weapon Three, Mel Gibson had to choreograph a type of shadow boxing. Eg, he had to do some moves pretending he was alone because Jet Li was so fast Mel couldn’t even react in time, much less spar. Agreed Jet is getting a little on the older side, but puh-leese ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/44 "2003-06-11T14:03:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by adam yax \* > \*\*I don’t know what else he has done besides _The One_ during the time he could have been working on the _Matrix_ sequels. \*\* Recently he did _Hero_ - [http://us.imdb.com/Title?0299977](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0299977) It is already out in Asian countries. Shall be heading towards US at the end of the year, I think. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/45 "2003-06-11T14:58:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Govindha \* > \*\*Ahh geeze…I’m the schmuck. I sincerely apologize. I was in a rush and your name was on my mind. :smack: > > Also to clarify, d odds is also a schmuck for posting that, kidding or not. \*\* Which part of [ul] [li] [Devil’s Advocate],[/li][li] [hyperbole mode = on], and[/li][li] Who’s going to take me seriously[/ul][/li]was confusing? Or, if you are making a joke, you too could be a liittle more obvious about it. And yes, I know enough about martial arts to know that size doesn’t necessarily equate to skill/power/ability. Jeez, tough crowd. ---
**Author:** ![Govindha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5fc32e/32.png) [@Govindha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Govindha)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/46 "2003-06-11T16:35:48Z")
I sometimes forget words on a screen cannot convey facial expressions and voice pitch. You know you’re not a schmuck. However, I’ve proven time and time again that I am. Sometimes it’s all so confusing to me I just rattle off nonsense, which usually forces someone to put me in check. Again, I must apologize(I’m still a newbie here, I just cant help it…). ---
**Author:** ![Spurious\_George](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Spurious\_George](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spurious_George)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/47 "2003-06-11T16:50:13Z")
Keanu couldn’t kick Ang Lee’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/48 "2003-06-11T16:54:23Z")
All is forgiven. It’s tough for me too, as satire and hyperbole (delivered with as straight a face as possible) are my main communication techniques. I’ve learned it’s best to overdo tone when making jokes in a written forum, hence the three indicators. There’s been several times I’ve had posters take even my most absurd hyperbole literally (such as any Reeves taking on Jet Li and winning :D). ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/49 "2003-06-11T16:56:08Z")
Let’s stop bashing Keanu. He regularly gets his ass kicked by words on a piece of paper entitled _Script_. He’s got it tough enough as is without the additional pileon. ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/50 "2003-06-11T18:14:05Z")
**Govindha** , don’t worry about it, I too have trouble remembering which screename is which. It goes so far that sometimes I forget my own on here, so if I lose my cookies I can’t log in and post! Despite having been registered for a while supposedly, I was a lurker until very recently, when I was drawn into the dark side. So I still consider myself a newbie, despite having recently hit my 100[sup]th[/sup] post. Is that still few enough to make me a newbie? Cheers, Harry ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/51 "2003-06-11T18:30:18Z")
Spike Lee? Gypsy Rose Lee? David Lee Roth? Iacocca, Lee? ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/52 "2003-06-11T18:49:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sublight \* > \*\*Here’s the data for it from the imdb. According to their links, it’s available on VHS from Amazon. > > [http://us.imdb.com/Details?0110200](http://us.imdb.com/Details?0110200) \*\* I’ve found a copy on [Amazon.co.uk](http://Amazon.co.uk), which I’d love, but unfortunately I’m a poor teenage student. If I’m lucky, I’ll get my share of the money for my band’s last gig, and I can afford it. Failing that, I’ll wait till I actually have my part time job, and it’ll be my first purchase with my paycheque. Cheers, Harry ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/53 "2003-06-11T22:09:42Z")
What if Keanu Reeves was attacked by a Star Destroyer? ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855/54 "2003-06-11T23:05:00Z")
Keanu Reeves couldn’t kick Robert E Lee’s ass, even if he exhumed his body! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keanu-reeves-could-not-kick-jet-lis-ass-who-agrees/180855.md?page=2)