# Keep it in your pants for 5 years or go to jail. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 19, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937 "2003-06-19T15:29:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![byter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@byter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/byter)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/1 "2003-06-19T15:29:05Z")
It’s not new but it is approved, by the 9th Ohio District Court anyway. [(registration required)](http://www.dispatch.com/news-story.php?story=dispatch/2003/06/19/20030619-03104.html) or just Google “Sean Talty” > [@](#): > > A judge acted within his authority when he ordered a father with delinquent child-support payments to make “reasonable efforts” to avoid getting women pregnant for five years, an appeals court ruled Wednesday. > The 9 th Ohio District Court of Appeals upheld the probation restriction imposed by Medina County Common Pleas Judge James Kimbler when he sentenced Sean Talty, 30, of Akron, in September. > “We believe that such a condition is reasonably related to rehabilitation,” Judge Beth Whitmore said in a unanimous three-judge ruling. I wonder how Mrs. Talty is taking it? > [@](#): > > Talty has married since Kimbler’s ruling, and the issue of whether he may legally impregnate his wife could complicate the case, Carro said. What if he doesn’t make it? > [@](#): > > Talty could have received a two-year sentence for two counts of felony nonsupport for children of his ex-wives and girlfriends. [a pic of the cockmeister](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/stalty1.html) Maybe they should neuter him? ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/2 "2003-06-19T15:39:18Z")
You would think the mullet would keep women away. Guess not. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/3 "2003-06-19T15:44:46Z")
If I were a Creationist, I would use this guy as an emotional appeal against the theory of evolution. After all, he’s quite successful in Darwinian terms, but… look at him. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/4 "2003-06-19T15:52:32Z")
He must have been telling those women he was the singer for Nickelback… ---
**Author:** ![Trob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Trob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trob)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/5 "2003-06-19T15:55:59Z")
What kind of a pathetic wretch would marry this guy? Especially knowing his history? THe mind boggles. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/6 "2003-06-19T16:12:46Z")
Maybe he has a car. I know girls that would marry a guy if he had a car and a stable job. Seriously. As for SANE people, though…yeugh. Love may be blind, but…yeugh. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/7 "2003-06-19T16:18:04Z")
> [@](#): > > I wonder how Mrs. Talty is taking it? Hopefully up the ass. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/8 "2003-06-19T16:23:24Z")
**lieu** , I…I…think I love you… ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/9 "2003-06-19T16:25:52Z")
Lieu, you’re a genius. ---
**Author:** ![presidebt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c37758/32.png) [@presidebt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/presidebt)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/10 "2003-06-19T16:31:41Z")
I’m with \*\* Giraffe \*\* and \*\*TwistofFate \*\*. Too freakin’ funny **lieu**! ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/11 "2003-06-19T16:34:09Z")
Between Brickers post and lieu’s, this thread has been enough to give me a lift at the end of a shitty day. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![macabresoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@macabresoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/macabresoul)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/12 "2003-06-19T17:17:33Z")
$38,000 holy shitezer! The should give him the house arrest ankle bracelet and attach it to his… or maybe not. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/13 "2003-06-19T18:28:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by macabresoul \* > \*\*$38,000 holy shitezer! > > The should give him the house arrest ankle bracelet and attach it to his… or maybe not. \*\* Oh, please no…then it would be like one of those french-tickler cockrings and she’d want it all the time. 😃 Sam ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/14 "2003-06-19T19:00:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by byter \* > \*\*… make “reasonable efforts” to avoid getting women pregnant for five years … \*\* Yipes! If **I** got a woman pregnant for **five freakin’ years** , the last thing I’d be afraid of was what some **judge** would do to me! ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/15 "2003-06-19T19:08:57Z")
Lieu, I now have salsa on my monitor. Thanks! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/16 "2003-06-19T19:27:31Z")
Joe dirt! He looks like Joe Dirt! ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/17 "2003-06-19T19:38:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spiff \* > \*\*Yipes! If **I** got a woman pregnant for **five freakin’ years** , the last thing I’d be afraid of was what some **judge** would do to me! \*\* Nah, she’d hafta catch ya first. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/18 "2003-06-20T00:30:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by byter \* > > I wonder how Mrs. Talty is taking it? > > \*\*Hopefully up the ass. \*\* Well, you know what they say about mullets. Business in the front Party in the back Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/19 "2003-06-20T04:20:11Z")
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT!?!?!??! Jesus Christ, this fucking Joe Dirte wannabe has to get a fucking COURT ORDER to not go knocking up more women because he already has more kids than he can handle and I, a reasonably attractive, financially sound guy, don’t even have a girlfriend. The fact that some wacko married this dude is more than I can handle. **Mtgman** ’s post is the only thing stopping me from being irate enough to rage on for another three paragraphs. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/20 "2003-06-20T04:45:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Little Plastic Ninja \* > \*\*Maybe he has a car. > > I know girls that would marry a guy if he had a car and a stable job. > > Seriously. > > As for SANE people, though…yeugh. Love may be blind, but…yeugh. \*\* Really? Think you could hook me up? I’ve got a car and a stable job. (Sort of.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937.md?page=2)