# Keep it in your pants for 5 years or go to jail. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 19, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937 "2003-06-19T15:29:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![byter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@byter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/byter)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/21 "2003-06-20T12:07:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ender\_Will \* > \*\*I, a reasonably attractive, financially sound guy, don’t even have a girlfriend. \*\* > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Tuckerfan_ > **Really? Think you could hook me up? I’ve got a car and a stable job. (Sort of.)** Whoa, I get to be first in line! I’ve got the same attributes so I should get first crack (so to speak) at it. 😃 What I need to to is to find pictures of the Mrs.'s Talty’s. They are probably so bad that I wouldn’t fuck them with your dick. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/22 "2003-06-20T13:42:26Z")
Dang, I wish we had judges like that here! ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/23 "2003-06-20T17:10:19Z")
Back to the OP. I think the courts actions are reasonable. And there are many reasons the courts should keep people from breeding: Can’t pay child support - don’t have kids Can’t afford to have kids - don’t have 'em. You’re a drug abuser - don’t have kids. You’re gay - don’t have kids. You have issues - don’t have kids. You’re an asshole alcoholic - don’t have kids. You’re an asshole - don’t have kids. If you’re not ready, or are dirt broke and cannot afford to barely afford to feed yourself, don’t make me pay for it. If you’re an abuser, or you have _issues_, or are an asshole of anykind, you should not breed. If you’re gay, you should understand that adopting kids will really screw with their mind. Not that I have anything against gays, but others do and will not understand it and will fuck with your kids minds - that’s society for you, wish it could be different, but for the time being, it’s not a good idea. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this bigtime. I also understand that some kids are grandfathered into problems already. But if you can avoid it until you’re ready, do so… when your ready. Don’t have kids just to have them. Even if it takes you to 60 years old without kids, if the enviroment isn’t right, too bad, your genes will not pass go, or collect 200 dollars. Come on! Bring Baby, bring it! ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/24 "2003-06-20T17:24:43Z")
You’ll get flamed for this: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ParentalAdvisory \* > **You’re gay - don’t have kids.** But I’ll leave that job for the experts … But I’d like to point out that the judge did say in the written opinion that locking up MulletMan™ for X number of years would also effectively wipe out his ability to procreate. Although knowing this guy’s, uh, determination, I’m sure he’d find a way. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/25 "2003-06-20T17:37:28Z")
It wasn’t so many years ago that people said that couples of mixed race shouldn’t have kids because ‘society isn’t ready’. I call bullshit to that and to your gay crap, **PA**. Society can just damn well get over it. Much of the rest of your post I agree with. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/26 "2003-06-20T17:51:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by macabresoul \* > \*\*$38,000 holy shitezer! > > The should give him the house arrest ankle bracelet and attach it to his… or maybe not. \*\* It would need to be packed with C4 and steel ball bearingswith a pregnancy monitoring function… Wait a minute… Macabresoul, shouldn’t you be patenting this? ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/27 "2003-06-20T18:30:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > \*\*It wasn’t so many years ago that people said that couples of mixed race shouldn’t have kids because ‘society isn’t ready’. I call bullshit to that and to your gay crap, **PA**. Society can just damn well get over it. > > Much of the rest of your post I agree with. That is all. \*\* I agree with you. But I look at it like this, if I was an adopted child from a gay couple, I’d be more screwed worse than I am now. I couldn’t imagine going through what those kids go through. Not only being confused about dad…and dad, but also with explaining that to their peers. I agree with, “fuck what society thinks” too, but in reality, the child is the one who has to deal with society. But I could be wrong, maybe the child will be of strong character because of it. I’m just sayin’, it would have to be rough, and I woulnd’t wish it on anyone, that’s all. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/28 "2003-06-20T20:48:56Z")
Marry the guy? I can’t believe anyone even slept with him. Wait… he’s in Ohio. Medina County. That explains a lot. Guys like this serve a very important function: to make me stop whining and bitching about not being able to get a date. See, I can _get_ a date… but THAT guy represents my dating pool. Who would want to… blech. At least six (or possibly seven, according to his rap sheet) did. See, folks, this is why I’m single. I skipped the ugly divorce, gutwrenching custody battle and deadbeat dad scene… I’m headed straight for the second marriage for money! (kidding) ---
**Author:** ![HelenGawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HelenGawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenGawn)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/29 "2003-06-20T20:53:04Z")
The Talty kids would be damn lucky to be adopted by any of the gay couples I’ve known, who would raise them with love, values and self-respect. I don’t imagine them getting any of those things in their current environments. ---
**Author:** ![byter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@byter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/byter)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/30 "2003-06-20T22:00:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by don’t mind me \* > \*\*The Talty kids would be damn lucky to be adopted by any of the gay couples I’ve known, who would raise them with love, values and self-respect. I don’t imagine them getting any of those things in their current environments. \*\* While the 1st Mrs. Talty shows incredibly bad taste, that does not equate to bad mother. How do you think his ass was dragged into court to begin with? I am curious as to what kind of upbringing they are receiving, but since the children are still with their mother, it would seem that she has not been accused of being an unfit mother. It is obvious she has been in the legal system, I would imagine she has also undergone a fair degree of scrutiny too. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/31 "2003-06-21T14:59:32Z")
**PA** that’s just pathetic. Don’t have kids if you have _issues_??? Who, praytell, gets to be the deciding authority on if one is issue-free? Are you fucking kidding here? Yes, all the children currently being victimized in the foster care system, they’re so much better off there than with loving adoptive parents who may or may not be gay. Perhaps if folks like yourself quit projecting their own insecurities onto others, those _poor_ kids would have less potential difficulties. I’d think kids with gay parents would actually have a better/easier childhood, how incredible to know beyond a shadow of doubt that you were wanted and not a biological mistake. All adoptive parents give their kids an extra gift that way, how wonderful for those kids. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/32 "2003-06-21T15:44:27Z")
I think that the reasoning articulated in **ParentalAdvisory**'s post is the best reason of why we shouldn’t give judges the authority to keep people from breeding. It is a slippery slope. While we all may agree that this guy shouldn’t have more kids, whose next? The poor? Gay people? Mixed race? ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/33 "2003-06-21T15:57:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Queen Tonya \* > \*\ ***PA** that’s just pathetic. Don’t have kids if you have _issues_??? \*\* > > That’s what I said. I’m talking major issues too. Ex, If you’ve had abuse your past, serious abuse and are not over it yet (notice I said ‘over it’), you’re in no condition to raise a child. Same goes for a lot of other stuff - depression, anger problems, etc… > > \*\* > Who, praytell, gets to be the deciding authority on if one is issue-free? \*\* > > My state tells me, if I’m drunk, I cannot drive. Who are they to tell me what to do? They can tell me what to do because it’s something that effects society, if I drive intoxicted, i’m liable to hurt someone. If you have major issues and cannot raise a child, that effects society and the kid. My taxes will also be affected if the dad takes a walk and Joe Public ends up feeding the kid. > > \*\* > Are you fucking kidding here?\*\* > > He He. No. > > **Yes, all the children currently being victimized in the foster care system, they’re so much better off there than with loving adoptive parents who may or may not be gay.** > > Okay, ok, my gay example was out of line. I can admit these things. > > \*\* > Perhaps if folks like yourself quit projecting their own insecurities onto others, those _poor_ kids would have less potential difficulties.\*\* > > I’m not saying poor folks shouldn’t have kids. My parents were poor with myself and my siblings. I’m talking BROKE AS FUCK poor. Macarroni and Cheese once a month if you’re lucky poor. Do not have kids if you have no job and expect to live on welfare for the rest of your life. I think this is reasonable. > > \*\*I’d think kids with gay parents would actually have a better/easier childhood, how incredible to know beyond a shadow of doubt that you were wanted and not a biological mistake. All adoptive parents give their kids an extra gift that way, how wonderful for those kids. \*\* > > I agree and again, I was out of line. > > Next? ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/34 "2003-06-21T19:34:02Z")
This guy should get a vasectomy. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/35 "2003-06-23T15:07:33Z")
with a rusty spoon and no pain meds. Sad to say, $38K is not that bad. I know of more than a few cases where arrears total over $100K. Read [this article](http://www.gazettenet.com/05312003/news/6315.htm#top) for a quick glance on another states attempt at collections. Personally, I don’t care if a person (man or woman) has 20 children, _as long as they financially support them_ if/when one parent leaves. Of course emotion support, &c is important, but that’s not what is being discussed. What pisses me off are the people who don’t work, or work $6.00/hr jobs, and expect an order of $50/month to be sufficient in raising a child. The people who ask surprised when they do not receive child support, knowing full well their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife has not contributed financially to previous children. I do not like the title many men are given when they do not pay their support (“deadbeat dads”). It’s offensive. There are many people who cannot for one reason or another pay support. The govenment does nothing to foster openness with obligors. Many people have no clue on how to change their support orders. Conversely, when they have had their hands held through the process and then renege on a plan, and that ennervates me also. What bothers me about this guy is that he continued to procreate, seemingly not caring a whit about his elder children. Asshat. ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/36 "2003-06-23T15:28:54Z")
> [@](#): > > You’re gay - don’t have kids. Slot A, slot A. Tab B, tab B. Erm? _Beagle’s head turns to one side. Paws at ground_ Someone help me out here. Perhaps you are against adoption by gay partners? Ohio has rednecks? Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937/37 "2003-06-24T17:01:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Queen Tonya \* > **PA** that’s just pathetic. Don’t have kids if you have _issues_??? > Who, praytell, gets to be the deciding authority on if one is issue-free? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ParentalAdvisory \* > That’s what I said. I’m talking major issues too. Ex, If you’ve had abuse your past, serious abuse and are not over it yet (notice I said ‘over it’), you’re in no condition to raise a child. Same goes for a lot of other stuff - depression, anger problems, etc… > > My state tells me, if I’m drunk, I cannot drive. Who are they to tell me what to do? They can tell me what to do because it’s something that effects society, if I drive intoxicted, i’m liable to hurt someone. If you have major issues and cannot raise a child, that effects society and the kid. My taxes will also be affected if the dad takes a walk and Joe Public ends up feeding the kid. \*\* Damnit, **PA** , I was all set to defend your original ideas when I got to this post. Then I re-read your original post: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ParentalAdvisory \* > I think the courts actions are reasonable. And there are many reasons the **courts** should keep people from breeding: bolding mine Now I have to explain how I didn’t read your first post closely enough. :smack: IMO, people should _police themselves_, and not have children unless they are ready to provide a proper environment for them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-it-in-your-pants-for-5-years-or-go-to-jail/182937.md?page=1)