# "...keep your laser handy" is from what? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 6, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520 "2006-10-06T17:44:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![born\_too\_late](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@born\_too\_late](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/born_too_late)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/1 "2006-10-06T17:44:18Z")
“Stay alert, trust no one and keep your laser handy.” Where did this saying originate? It sounds like a movie quote, but my googling skills failed me today. ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/2 "2006-10-06T17:49:40Z")
You should Google up an old role playing game, recently re-released, called _Paranoia_. There you will find your answer. I love the Computer! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/3 "2006-10-06T17:51:57Z")
Well, if you google “keep your laser handy” you’ll find references to a RPG named Paranoia, published by Mongoose back in the 80’s. Another familiar quote from the game is “The computer is your friend.” ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/4 "2006-10-06T17:57:10Z")
Greatest RPG ever. Hokey storyline, clumsy combat rules (if you even knew them!)…completely addictive. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/5 "2006-10-06T17:58:20Z")
[QUOTE=Ethilrist] Well, if you google “keep your laser handy” you’ll find references to a RPG named Paranoia, published by Mongoose back in the 80’s. Another familiar quote from the game is “The computer is your friend.” [/QUOTE] Mongoose is the current publisher. The 80’s publisher was West End Games. ---
**Author:** ![born\_too\_late](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@born\_too\_late](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/born_too_late)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/6 "2006-10-06T17:59:10Z")
I saw reference to the ‘paranoia’ game on my google results, but I thought that maybe they had in turn taken it from somewhere else. Has anyone played it? Is it any good? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/7 "2006-10-06T18:11:19Z")
[QUOTE=born too late] I saw reference to the ‘paranoia’ game on my google results, but I thought that maybe they had in turn taken it from somewhere else. Has anyone played it? Is it any good? [/QUOTE] If you don’t spoil it for yourself (the referee really should be the only one who knows the plot and the rules - totally unique), it’s really, really cool. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/8 "2006-10-06T18:22:58Z")
\ > **[Paranoia (role-playing game)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoia_%28game%29)** > > Paranoia is a dystopian science-fiction tabletop role-playing game originally designed and written by Greg Costikyan, Dan Gelber, and Eric Goldberg, and first published in 1984 by West End Games. Since 2004 the game has been published under license by Mongoose Publishing. The game won the Origins Award for Best Roleplaying Rules of 1984 and was inducted into the Origins Awards Hall of Fame in 2007. Paranoia is notable among tabletop games for being more competitive than co-operative, with p Sev... ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/9 "2006-10-06T18:55:00Z")
We play it sometimes and have a blast. Haven’t done in a while. I’m our Hygiene Officer. I keep us clean in thought, word, and deed! (I hand out fines for grammar violations - got yelled at by the GM by not doing it _enough_. I didn’t want to spend all game yelling about grammar, but evidently that’s what he had in mind when he gave me that task. 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/10 "2006-10-06T19:35:37Z")
I haven’t checked out the Mongoose Stuff in great detail – got the newest rulebook, but don’t have the time for RPG’ing any more – but the Second Edition from West End Games was perfect (Friend Computer says so! Praise the Computer!). At least, until they started getting off the deep end with the “post-Crash Alpha Complex” stuff… (For the Troubleshooters out there, my homebrewed unpublished second-edition _Paranoia_ adventure module can be found [here.](http://www.electric-escape.net/JBYP)) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/11 "2006-10-06T19:38:11Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] clumsy combat rules (if you even knew them!) [/QUOTE] Back when I played _Paranoia_, our sole combat rule was “GM decides what the result is based on what he thinks is funniest.” Worked out pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/12 "2006-10-06T20:23:47Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Back when I played _Paranoia_, our sole combat rule was “GM decides what the result is based on what he thinks is funniest.” Worked out pretty well. [/QUOTE] Absolutely. That’s the best way to play it. Of course, rolling the dice behind your screen, and tut-tutting mournfully lends an air of versilimitude for the doubting Thom-O-SES out there … ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/13 "2006-10-06T20:27:24Z")
[QUOTE=Daithi Lacha] Absolutely. That’s the best way to play it. Of course, rolling the dice behind your screen, and tut-tutting mournfully lends an air of versilimitude for the doubting Thom-O-SES out there … [/QUOTE] Well, years later, I now know that’s what our GM was doing most of the time. But there was a feeling of real danger…OK, scratch that. Real uncertainty…when you didn’t really have any idea what was going to happen when you pointed your red-orange laser at the red-suited dude and shot. It’s a far cry from D&D, where I know down to a percentage point my chances of hitting the hill giant with my sword, even as a player. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/14 "2006-10-06T20:58:19Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] But there was a feeling of real danger…OK, scratch that. Real uncertainty…when you didn’t really have any idea what was going to happen when you pointed your red-orange laser at the red-suited dude and shot. It’s a far cry from D&D, where I know down to a percentage point my chances of hitting the hill giant with my sword, even as a player. [/QUOTE] You know, of course, that the rules are classified Ultraviolet, and for a low-level Red Troubleshooter to even _look_ at them would be treason punishable by immediate execution, _right?_ Your benevolent GM was merely looking out for you there. 😉 But that’s what made _Paranoia_ more fun than _D&D_ IMO – the first rule is Have Fun, not Fuss Over the Stupid Arcane Rules. _Paranoia_ is fun. Other games are not fun. The Computer says so. Play _Paranoia._😃 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/15 "2006-10-06T21:08:45Z")
[QUOTE=rjung] _Paranoia_ is fun. Other games are not fun. The Computer says so. Play _Paranoia._😃 [/QUOTE] **sweating and twitching** The computer is my FRIEND! Gosh, I miss those days! ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/16 "2006-10-06T21:23:05Z")
Happiness is mandatory. Those who are not happy will be used as reactor shielding. ---
**Author:** ![MrJackboots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MrJackboots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrJackboots)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/17 "2006-10-06T21:50:11Z")
[QUOTE=rjung] You know, of course, that the rules are classified Ultraviolet, and for a low-level Red Troubleshooter to even _look_ at them would be treason punishable by immediate execution, _right?_ Your benevolent GM was merely looking out for you there. 😉 [/QUOTE] Well, duh. The books are printed on white paper, aren’t they? The fact that some of them have red covers only means that it is OK for the troubleshooters to know that they exist. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2006, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/18 "2006-10-07T19:33:48Z")
I’m sorry, Citizen, but that information is not available at your security clearance. Why are you asking about information that is not available at your security clearance, Citizen? Are you a Commie Mutant Traitor? When did you quit your secret society? Are you _sure_ you aren’t a loyal citizen, Citizen Born-R-LAT-2? Go visit HPD & Mind Control’s nearest Maximum Fun Education Center. They’ll set you straight. Or turn you over to Internal Security; maybe your next clone will do better. Serve The Computer. The Computer is your friend. Scub-Y-BEN-4 ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2006, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/19 "2006-10-08T02:13:27Z")
This Flash animation gives you a nice introduction to Paranoia: > **[HoodyHoo.com is for sale | HugeDomains](https://www.hugedomains.com/domain_profile.cfm?d=hoodyhoo.com)** > > Short term financing makes it possible to acquire highly sought-after domains without the strain of upfront costs. Find your domain name today. ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520/20 "2006-10-12T21:50:48Z")
[QUOTE=born too late] I saw reference to the ‘paranoia’ game on my google results, but I thought that maybe they had in turn taken it from somewhere else. [/quote] It’s a line from the Duran Duran song “Rio.” 😉 > [@](#): > > Has anyone played it? Is it any good? It was awesomely funny before funny games were popular. “Excuse me, citizen… is there a Tank-Bot on our requisition form?” 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keep-your-laser-handy-is-from-what/375520.md?page=2)