# keeping a girlfriend when asked tough questions **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 3, 2009, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774 "2009-07-03T01:59:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/1 "2009-07-03T01:59:33Z")
Hi, I’m planning on auditioning for beauty and the geek but I have a girlfriend (in the past there has been at least one guy on the show who had a girlfriend). Anyway in looks my girlfriend is maybe a 5. (mostly because of her big belly though I haven’t told her that) What if I got on the show and someone asked me if they’re prettier than my girlfriend? Should I agree or say something else? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/2 "2009-07-03T02:00:54Z")
Er, I’m kind of surprised as to why you still have a girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/3 "2009-07-03T02:02:46Z")
I don’t understand it either. BTW she is the first girl I ever went on a date with - at the age of 29… but back to the question… ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/4 "2009-07-03T02:11:13Z")
Well, I mean, the fact that you only rate her a 5 except for her big belly and you’re assuming you’ll see hotter girls. If I were your girlfriend, I’d dump you the minute I read this post. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/5 "2009-07-03T02:14:04Z")
Answer: “That’s impossible for me to answer. I know my girlfriend so well. When I see her, or think of her, I see this whole person, the person she is inside and out. From what I know of you, you seem like a lovely person, you’re certainly beautiful on the outside. But I can only see part of you. So far, anyway…” Good luck. You’ll need it. You’re a rookie zooming straight to the big game in the majors. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/6 "2009-07-03T02:19:33Z")
Is the show a sitcom or a reality show? Do the two of you go on as contestants? Is it something like that show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? Does your girlfriend know you’re trying out? If it’s a good relationship, I’d say the best source of answers will be to ask her. Don’t put her on the spot, but figure out what she’ll be comfortable with and have fun. If she’s going to be compared to models (what it sounds like from your question), she’s probably aware that she’s not as objectively pretty, but you’ve got her back in the subjective department. (That’s a bit hard to describe … if you can track down the Cheers episode where Coach’s daughter is about to marry an oaf (I think the daughter is Miss DePesto), catch the end scenes.) ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/7 "2009-07-03T02:20:49Z")
Freudian Slit: I plan on doing whatever it takes to make sure she never sees this thread… ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/8 "2009-07-03T02:25:40Z")
The internet is a wonderful thing: [Coach’s Daughter Part V](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ6rwZg-J9w&feature=PlayList&p=329CA176A4296D8F&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=14) Compare Coach’s and Roy’s answers. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/9 "2009-07-03T02:26:50Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Is the show a sitcom or a reality show? Do the two of you go on as contestants? Is it something like that show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? Does your girlfriend know you’re trying out? I’d apply to be one of the geeks on the show. She isn’t pretty enough to be one of the beauties. > [@](#): > > If it’s a good relationship, I’d say the best source of answers will be to ask her. Don’t put her on the spot, but figure out what she’ll be comfortable with and have fun. If she’s going to be compared to models (what it sounds like from your question), she’s probably aware that she’s not as objectively pretty, but you’ve got her back in the subjective department. (That’s a bit hard to describe … if you can track down the Cheers episode where Coach’s daughter is about to marry an oaf (I think the daughter is Miss DePesto), catch the end scenes.) Thanks for the suggestion. BTW I told my girlfriend yesterday that I don’t think I’ll fall in love with anyone ever… I used to get obsessed with some girls and they didn’t work out at all. ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/10 "2009-07-03T02:28:12Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > If I were your girlfriend, I’d dump you the minute I read this post. “Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee.” “Nancy,” Churchill replied, “if I were your husband, I’d drink it.” ---
**Author:** ![Randy\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Randy\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/11 "2009-07-03T02:37:15Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, I mean, the fact that you only rate her a 5 except for her big belly and you’re assuming you’ll see hotter girls. If I were your girlfriend, I’d dump you the minute I read this post. Are you seriously suggesting that a man cannot (or should not) be in love with a woman who he finds physically unattractive? Isn’t that a bit misogynist? If this is not what you are suggesting, why do you think the OP’s girlfriend should dump him upon reading that “_in looks my girlfriend is maybe a 5_”? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/12 "2009-07-03T02:41:53Z")
BTW I find her quite attractive… about as attractive as most girls. But some are a lot more attractive. btw, about the Cheers video I got teary at just before 4 mins in. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/13 "2009-07-03T02:48:54Z")
Then at just about 5 mins I started worrying about how I’m a bit like Roy. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/14 "2009-07-03T02:52:13Z")
> [@Randy\_Seltzer](#): > > Are you seriously suggesting that a man cannot (or should not) be in love with a woman who he finds physically unattractive? Isn’t that a bit misogynist? > > If this is not what you are suggesting, why do you think the OP’s girlfriend should dump him upon reading that “_in looks my girlfriend is maybe a 5_”? I just wouldn’t want someone to reduce me to just a 5, that’s all. I don’t know, maybe I’m just insecure, but I’d want to be with someone who finds me totally gorgeous, who isn’t just settling on me. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/15 "2009-07-03T03:07:45Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > keeping a girlfriend when asked tough questions I’m unfamiliar with the show, but I think your best bet is to know what you’d be in for, let her know what you’d be in for, and ask her what she thinks of the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/16 "2009-07-03T03:11:28Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > btw, about the Cheers video I got teary at just before 4 mins in. Heh… I did too. And I kind of think that Roy couldn’t have wondered if he was Roy, so that’s a plus. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/17 "2009-07-03T03:13:49Z")
Polls belong in **[IMHO](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=12)**. Off you go. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/18 "2009-07-03T03:16:33Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > I’m unfamiliar with the show, but I think your best bet is to know what you’d be in for, let her know what you’d be in for, and ask her what she thinks of the idea. Well I said to her that I’d refuse to kiss any of the girls and I’d also tell them when ever I can that I have a girlfriend… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/19 "2009-07-03T03:21:14Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I just wouldn’t want someone to reduce me to just a 5, that’s all. I don’t know, maybe I’m just insecure, but I’d want to be with someone who finds me totally gorgeous, who isn’t just settling on me. She often tells me she finds me gorgeous… also in some books (e.g. “the five love languages”) they say that according to studies the “in love” feeling only lasts about 2 years… BTW, girls that I’ve been really attracted to haven’t liked me back and I never liked girls who liked me (well if I did they’d lose attraction by the time I started to take action) ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774/20 "2009-07-03T03:31:00Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > She often tells me she finds me gorgeous… also in some books (e.g. “the five love languages”) they say that according to studies the “in love” feeling only lasts about 2 years… That’s infatuation, not actual love. Your job as a couple is to work out a deep, meaningful love relationship during that whole “whee, fireworks!” time period - or to figure out that you aren’t good together. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/keeping-a-girlfriend-when-asked-tough-questions/501774.md?page=2)