# Kel Varnson - Latex Division is a dumdum **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2004, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919 "2004-12-03T17:31:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/1 "2004-12-03T17:31:26Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=289696&page=1&pp=50](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=289696&page=1&pp=50) In this thread he wants to chat about a hypothetical car blowout causing your 7 year old to be trapped and burned alive unless you liberate his soul with your handy .45 . You sir, are a dumdum. Why would you want to think of this, much less have a protracted debate about it. It is a no win situation. People were making light of it because the premise is just silly, and distasteful. It smacks of immaturity and a lack of life experiences, including experiencing pain, grief or the loss of a loved one. :wally ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/2 "2004-12-03T17:39:58Z")
He’s also busy carrying on about the sex imposter scene in _Revenge of the Nerds_. Apparently it’s imaginary wrongdoing week. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/3 "2004-12-03T17:44:43Z")
It’s because he created a thread dealing with euthanasia of seriously ill babies in the Netherlands: > **[Dutch Hospital Euthanizing Gravely Ill Babies](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=289484)** > > I am not really sure what to think of this. What are your thoughts on euthanizing babies? Do you see a chance that this policy could be abused? I am disturbed that the severally mentally retarded can be euthanized under this policy. How retarded do... that I’m thinking didn’t neccesarily get the answers he wanted, so he made the other thread to rephrase the debate. That’s my guess, at least. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/4 "2004-12-03T17:47:39Z")
Wow, that went straight past mental masturbation and into tittyfuck. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/5 "2004-12-03T17:49:23Z")
Yeah, I figured he was making a point about euthanasia as well (which is kind of scummy if that was indeed his intent, since having a “secret” purpose for starting a thread beyond that stated in the OP seems rather dishonest), but he never came back to it, so maybe not. Of course the thread may have been hijacked into oblivion before he had a chance to make his point. My other theory is that he lives in a northern clime and the SAD is starting to get to him, hence all the depressing rape and suffering children threads. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/6 "2004-12-03T17:52:47Z")
I dunno, I think anything that gets you to really think about what you might do in a certain unavoidable situation is kind of cool. At least it gets the blood and the creative juices flowing. Especially when the wise-guys arrive and start hijacking the thread. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/7 "2004-12-03T18:01:08Z")
And if he doesn’t get satisfactory answers in _that_ thread, there’s no telling what the next one will be… ```auto You're in the middle of the Gobe desert, taking a walk with your 3 year old child, who, due to spinacranialitis, has been colostomized, is tube fed, requires a respirator, a catheter, kidney dialysis, has only a third as much skin as she should, is severely mentally retarded, and whose spleen protrudes from a unique hole just above her third nipple. The doctors say she has less then 2 days to live. You're hundreds of miles from civilization. Without warning, the ancient sand worm Slait-Nyarr errupts from the ground in front of you, and threads to unleash a 3000-year long rein of utter domination upon the earth--a period that will see all major nations fall, billions die agonizing deaths of starvation, and the destruction of human culture as we know it. All life would be enslaved to Great Worm (may he live forever)! Just then, Jesus descends from the sky, and hands you a hypodermic syringe filled with enough barbituates to ensure a quick, painless death for your child. He hands you the syringe, and instructs you that if you end your childs horrible suffering, Slait-Nyarr will die instantly and the world will be saved. Do you kill your child in this situation? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~wavy lines~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ``` ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/8 "2004-12-03T18:01:14Z")
Yes but strappin’ your toddler in the front seat of a Molotovmobile right next to your loaded 45 for a reckless drive in the country is a bit removed from “unavoidable.” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/9 "2004-12-03T18:03:39Z")
Argh… please put **lieu’s** cheese abouve **Metacom’s** meat in the **Uncommon Sense** sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/10 "2004-12-03T18:04:18Z")
He _does_ seem to be rather depressed. ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/11 "2004-12-03T18:17:23Z")
I think he’s performed a valuable public service. The flaming-kid thread had at least three certifiable spit-takes; well worth the price of admission. Bravo, Dopers! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/12 "2004-12-03T18:32:13Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > You’re in the middle of the Gobe desert, taking a walk with your 3 year old child, who, due to spinacranialitis, has been colostomized, is tube fed, requires a respirator, a catheter, kidney dialysis, has only a third as much skin as she should, is severely mentally retarded, and whose spleen protrudes from a unique hole just above her third nipple. The doctors say she has less then 2 days to live. You’re hundreds of miles from civilization. Without warning, the ancient sand worm Slait-Nyarr errupts from the ground in front of you, and threads to unleash a 3000-year long rein of utter domination upon the earth–a period that will see all major nations fall, billions die agonizing deaths of starvation, and the destruction of human culture as we know it. All life would be enslaved to Great Worm (may he live forever)! Just then, Jesus descends from the sky, and hands you a hypodermic syringe filled with enough barbituates to ensure a quick, painless death for your child. He hands you the syringe, and instructs you that if you end your childs horrible suffering, Slait-Nyarr will die instantly and the world will be saved. I hate it when that happens. ---
**Author:** ![dasgupta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e56c9b/32.png) [@dasgupta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasgupta)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/13 "2004-12-03T18:46:39Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > You’re in the middle of the Gobe desert, taking a walk with your 3 year old child, who, due to spinacranialitis, has been colostomized, is tube fed, requires a respirator, a catheter, kidney dialysis, has only a third as much skin as she should, is severely mentally retarded, and whose spleen protrudes from a unique hole just above her third nipple. The doctors say she has less then 2 days to live. You’re hundreds of miles from civilization. Without warning, the ancient sand worm Slait-Nyarr errupts from the ground in front of you, and threads to unleash a 3000-year long rein of utter domination upon the earth–a period that will see all major nations fall, billions die agonizing deaths of starvation, and the destruction of human culture as we know it. All life would be enslaved to Great Worm (may he live forever)! Just then, Jesus descends from the sky, and hands you a hypodermic syringe filled with enough barbituates to ensure a quick, painless death for your child. He hands you the syringe, and instructs you that if you end your childs horrible suffering, Slait-Nyarr will die instantly and the world will be saved. I, for one, welcome our new sand worm overlords. You knew someone would say it. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/14 "2004-12-03T18:49:26Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > _snip_ > You’re hundreds of miles from civilization. Without warning, the ancient sand worm Slait-Nyarr errupts from the ground in front of you, and threads to unleash a 3000-year long rein of utter domination upon the earth–a period that will see all major nations fall, billions die agonizing deaths of starvation, and the destruction of human culture as we know it. All life would be enslaved to Great Worm (may he live forever)! > > _snip_ Read “Dune” lately? :dubious: It’s “Shai-Hulud” not “Slait-Nyarr” you rip-off artist!!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/15 "2004-12-03T18:59:03Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > You’re in the middle of the Gobe desert, taking a walk with your 3 year old child, who, due to spinacranialitis, has been colostomized, is tube fed, requires a respirator, a catheter, kidney dialysis, has only a third as much skin as she should, is severely mentally retarded, and whose spleen protrudes from a unique hole just above her third nipple. The doctors say she has less then 2 days to live. You’re hundreds of miles from civilization. Without warning, the ancient sand worm Slait-Nyarr errupts from the ground in front of you, and threads to unleash a 3000-year long rein of utter domination upon the earth–a period that will see all major nations fall, billions die agonizing deaths of starvation, and the destruction of human culture as we know it. All life would be enslaved to Great Worm (may he live forever)! Just then, Jesus descends from the sky, and hands you a hypodermic syringe filled with enough barbituates to ensure a quick, painless death for your child. He hands you the syringe, and instructs you that if you end your childs horrible suffering, Slait-Nyarr will die instantly and the world will be saved. In the Desert \> look at desert You are in the middle of the Gobi desert. You see Jesus here. You see a worm here. Rocky paths lead in all directions. In the Desert \> e The worm blocks your path. In the Desert \> w You enter a twisty maze of desert paths, all alike. You return where you started. In the Desert \> examine jesus Jesus gazes at you with infinite love. In the Desert \> examine worm It is the ancient sand worm Slait-Nyarr. In the Desert \> i You are holding a syringe and a child. The syringe has a needle attached. The syringe contains some barbituates. The child takes after her mother. In the Desert \> stab Stab what? In the Desert \> stab dragon Stab dragon with what? In the Desert \> stab dragon with needle You can’t do that. In the Desert \> fuck it I don’t understand that. In the Desert \> quit You have acheived a score of 0 points. Your moral ranking is worthless scum. Undo/Restore/Restart? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/16 "2004-12-03T19:10:26Z")
Y’know, for a thread that deals with an unpleasant topic, it’s making me laugh my ass off. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/17 "2004-12-03T19:32:34Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > In the Desert \> look at desert > You are in the middle of the Gobi desert. You see Jesus here. You see a worm here. Rocky paths lead in all directions. Holy _shit_, that post was funny! ---
**Author:** ![Kel\_Varnsen\_Latex\_Division](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@Kel\_Varnsen\_Latex\_Division](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kel_Varnsen_Latex_Division)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/18 "2004-12-03T20:40:38Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > In the Desert \> look at desert > You are in the middle of the Gobi desert. You see Jesus here. You see a worm here. Rocky paths lead in all directions. Is this a reference to computer RPG’s? I am probably too much of a dumdum to understand the joke. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/19 "2004-12-03T20:43:33Z")
Is this a reference to computer RPG’s? I am probably too much of a dumdum to understand the joke.\> Question not understood. You see a Straight Dope Message Board before you. Threads go in all directions. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919/20 "2004-12-03T20:43:50Z")
> [@Kel Varnsen - Latex Division](#): > > Is this a reference to computer RPG’s? I am probably too much of a dumdum to understand the joke. Yes it is. Zork is the game. But I hosed it in the middle and accidentally submitted before I’d inserted three more commands. Bummer. Thanks anyway, **Q.E.D.**!!! 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kel-varnson-latex-division-is-a-dumdum/277919.md?page=2)