# Kelli's 2000th post lesbian seduction thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 14, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511 "2000-07-14T01:09:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/41 "2000-07-14T13:11:22Z")
Conga Rats, Kelli! (pulls up chair, muttering something about throwing a full scale roman orgy next time he hits a post goal.) ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/42 "2000-07-14T13:13:23Z")
You know, “Straight Pope Causes Lesbianism” would be a great name for a…wait, no, that’s someone else’s job. It would be a fantastic headline, though. Byz: Well, I suppose what I’m doing this weekend depends on YOU, doesn’t it? 😉 VV: There’s no excuse for bad sex. Even if it’s because you’re not experienced with the gender you’re attempting to schtupp. Therefore, I am offering my services as mentor so you don’t have to be embarassed any more. Heck, hands-on training is my specialty! Kelli: Congrats again on a splendiferous post count (because I hate it when people go OT and stay there). And I’ll just say what I’ve said a thousand times: Women are awesome because they’re squishy and they smell good. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/43 "2000-07-14T14:16:57Z")
> [@](#): > > :::Fluttering eyelashes at Persephone::: > > Shall we get into the spirit of this thread sweetie? > Oh man, I am one sick puppy… Um, Bluepony? I’d love to, you know that. But…asking me if I’d like to get in to the spirit, then referring to yourself as a sick puppy…well, is that a compliment or an insult? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/44 "2000-07-14T14:33:38Z")
No scissor kissing?? No dough-nut bumping? Kelli…I clicked on this thread expecting to achieve some wood. Happy 2000th!!! I still love you though. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/45 "2000-07-14T16:29:23Z")
Now wait, Byz…you expect me to flirt with both you AND Chief in one thread? This might be too much for my flirting skills, but I’ll give it a shot. 😉 Speaking of shots…I think lower is…well…occupied, so the salt will have to go on my chest. _grins_ ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/46 "2000-07-14T20:19:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > **Tell me everything… I am going to a wedding on Saturday night of a swinger couple, hell, I might make a life change.** Well, as far as I know Mrs. O has no interest in coming on to this board so I feel relatively safe in putting all our business out in the street. **kellibelli** - swinging is **FUN**!!! We’d both been curious about it for a while and now with the Tzeroling off in the Midwest for a month, well… we went to a club up in PA with some acquaintances we’d met online and jumped right into it. And we’re going back again this weekend. You’ll never know if you don’t try… and we’ve been lucky enough not to have a bad experience yet so we’re all for recommending it to anyone curious about it. Standard rules of caution apply! (i.e. safety, no meaning no, and all that.) ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/47 "2000-07-14T20:42:49Z")
Oh man! Thanks for sharing that… Before me and the ex split up, I had agree to a threesome - girl girl boy, so I have been curious for a while! ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/48 "2000-07-14T20:50:39Z")
Kels, I am having second thoughts about going to this wedding… you are making me nervous after the Jamie talk!!! I’ll just have to hang around the boys ;). ---
**Author:** ![2sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e47774/32.png) [@2sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2sense)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2000, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/49 "2000-07-15T00:19:21Z")
:: reenters carrying beer :: Huff puff… OK I’m back. Did I miss anything good? I mean bad, of course. This is strictly verboten! :: jockies with **Blue Pony** to get the better view :: ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/50 "2000-07-15T00:37:41Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Persephone \* \*\* > [@](#): > > :::Fluttering eyelashes at Persephone::: > Um, Bluepony? I’d love to, you know that. > > But…asking me if I’d like to get in to the spirit, then referring to yourself as a sick puppy…well, is that a compliment or an insult? 😕 \*\* Persephone 😉 It’s neither, it’s a warning! I really am one sick puppy, my wife even bought me a T-shirt saying so. Also I was just LMAO over Homer’s “Donkey Punch” thread, so beware! 😃 Whoooo hoooo!! Here comes 2Sense with the brewskis! Uh ladies, a little less talking and more tattoo licking please! ---
**Author:** ![Brunetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Brunetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brunetter)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2000, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/51 "2000-07-15T00:59:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > \*\*C’mon lesbians! > Tell me everything… whats it like to have sex with a woman?? \*\* _sigh_ sadly, I don’t know yet. I realized about 5 years ago that I am bi, and have been trying on and off to fullfill that side of my personality … but to no avail. After trying a few times to start a relationship with a woman, I wonder how men EVER manage to do it … it’s one of the hardest and most painful things I’ve ever been a party to. Of course, Anthracite, Byzantine, and Pepperlandgirl would be all too pleased to tell me I’ve been dealing with the \*\* wrong women … \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2000, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/52 "2000-07-15T03:09:10Z")
Brunetter: you’ve been dealing with the wrong women. Sheesh…what does a girl have to do to be considered an authority on here? Heh heh heh. Naw, seriously…I’ve had pretty much nothing but shitty experiences myself. Women are BITCHES. They’re fucking psychos with no ability to think rationally. Well…but then there are people like, oh…ME…heh. Quite honestly, it gets easier and easier to figure out quickly who you are _actually_ compatible with. I’m sure every woman has dated at least one guy who ended up being completely different than they originally thought. The same thing happens with women, only it’s harder to recognize because, if you _don’t_ play those games, you just don’t expect them to come from another woman. You dig? Keep trying. 🙂 \*\*trying to become the most successful bi recruiter on the east coast ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2000, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/53 "2000-07-15T10:09:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tubagirl \* > \*\*Don’t you like penetration. **I DO!!! i DO!!!** \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamadryad \* > \*\*I am offering my services as mentor so you don’t have to be embarassed any more. Heck, hands-on training is my specialty! > > Women are awesome because they’re squishy and they smell good. \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Byzantine \* > \*\*Oh, you are excused and all… now, honey, whip off that uniform and assume the position! > \*\* JESUS CHRIST!! What the hell are you women trying to do to me?? “Why, these balls bound; there’s noise in it. 'Tis hard” 😃 😛 –All’s Well that Ends Well (heh), Act 2, Scene iii ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2000, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/54 "2000-07-15T13:00:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\* > JESUS CHRIST!! What the hell are you women trying to do to me?? > \*\* Nuthin’ you won’t enjoy, I bet. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2000, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/55 "2000-07-16T06:42:59Z")
I _always_ get to these things late! Congrats on the post count, kell! I can’t think of any one way to describe the difference between sex with a woman and sex with a man–it just depends on the person. Also, a one-night stand is going to be completely different than sex with someone you have a caring relationship with. In my experience, women can be just as rough (playfully) and aggressive as men but they are also some of the most gentle, wonderful people to be intimate with. Are you really serious about trying this, kell? (Note: the above is not a proposal (as we live too far apart ☹ ) it is simply a question. ---
**Author:** ![Soupy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Soupy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soupy)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2000, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/56 "2000-07-16T07:35:14Z")
Happy 2000th! (All I know about lesbian seduction comes from porno, so I tend not to rely on it.) ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2000, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/57 "2000-07-16T08:01:29Z")
I just don’t get this whole “sex as sport” worldview. Shouldn’t it MATTER when, where, and how you do it, and who you do it with? And I don’t mean matter the way it “matters” whether or not you ever go to Vegas, but it should matter at least as much as paying your taxes on time. All that talk about numbers of partners, etc. is just a touch stomach-turning. People don’t go around telling near-total strangers in person how they use dildos, etc, or how they’ve slept with this or that person. Why would anyone do it online? Is life really so boring that we have to focus on sex all the time as if it were the Super Bowl? ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2000, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/58 "2000-07-16T10:17:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > > \*\* > > JESUS CHRIST!! What the hell are you women trying to do to me?? > > \*\* > > Nuthin’ you won’t enjoy, I bet. 😉 \*\* Guilty, as charged! Now come over here, woman–I don’t need any more “lesbian entertainment” “Lust is but a bloody fire, Kindled with unchaste desire, Fed in heart, whose flames aspire As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher.” –Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 5, Scene V If you’ll excuse us! ::pulls AudreyK out of this thread:: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2000, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/59 "2000-07-16T12:58:36Z")
I shouldn’t even bother fixing my hair and shirt this time. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511/60 "2000-07-17T07:08:58Z")
Hamadryad – well, sugar britches, I guess I missed you this time around but that damn river keeps calling my name! But you used this word, “schtupp” and I just LOVE that word! Falcon – upper, lower, I just like your style, babe… I don’t give a rat’s ass WHERE you concentrate your attention… just as long as it’s on ME! ChiefScott can just piss off, really, we don’t need him to have our fun! 😉 I mean, he’d be a sweet little addition and all but we really don’t need him, I’ve got this whole BEVY of fun toys! 🙂 Brunetter – yep, you have been. But maybe that’s you, not them. Don’t make it a part of your “thing” with a guy. You might find a lot more takers without that particular hang up. This is just FYI and IMHO. DRY – “What the hell are you women trying to do to me??” Nothing. Not one single thing. Why? Did you WANT us to do something to you??? Be clear. Spell it out in detail. Remember: We’re here to help! Okay, really, sex, to me, is a grand and great thing. I have very little problem talking about it. But you have to really want to do it. Not just because your SO thinks it’s sexy or cool. It has to be about you, and me. Nothing wrong with it as long as you’re safe and happy. Don’t do it if you’re not. K? Pretty basic. And I hate to point this out again: Don’t get into something you are not ready to handle or something you don’t want to be involved in. K? And if you do, practice safe sex. K? Good. Now, back to me lusting after the entire board… Hey, I’ve put a condom over my keyboard and monitor. So, yeah, I can’t type well or see what you are typing but at least I’m safe, right? : [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kellis-2000th-post-lesbian-seduction-thread/25511.md?page=4)