# Kelly Osbourne finally hit by reality. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2007, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449 "2007-03-11T04:12:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/21 "2007-03-11T19:12:21Z")
Forget what Kelly _looks_ like - if I were Hef, I wouldn’t want to be the guy who published naked pictures of Ozzy’s daughter. I guess Ozzy isn’t very scary these days, but I wouldn’t want to deal with anybody in that family. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/22 "2007-03-11T20:03:52Z")
How reliable a site is Digital Spy? Hef has always seemed to me to be a pretty tactful and considerate sort of person and this comment doesn’t fit with my image of him. I’m also wondering if he would gratuitously bring up the subject of airbrushing. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/23 "2007-03-11T20:43:57Z")
[QUOTE=hajario] So what? Those with different taste won’t buy Playboy. Someone who “reads” Playboy will generally not be interested in seeing Kelly nude. [/QUOTE] Yeah but, don’t magazines, like any product, want as wide a market as possibe? Why not appeal to catholic tastes? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/24 "2007-03-11T20:50:05Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Why not appeal to catholic tastes? [/QUOTE] I doubt the Pope likes Ozzy or Kelly. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/25 "2007-03-11T20:54:25Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] Do they also like small brains, hideous hair, lots of childish tattoos, a weird, carnivorous smile, bad fashion sense and a total lack of musical talent? Let’s not pretend that this is Helen of Troy with just a fuller figure: > **[UGO](http://www.ugo.com)** > > UGO is a pop culture comedy site. We celebrate our obsessions by cracking jokes and making awesome videos. We kid because we love. [/QUOTE] Well, let’s see. I haven’t noticed a lot of guys who care about small brains, musical talent or fashion sense when looking at naked pictures. Mostly because, how would they know? They don’t really show up on film. Ok, you know more about her than most of them, but a centerfold could be a dumb as a bag of rocks and guys don’t really let that get in the way. And they have hairdressers, and photographers who say things like “You might want to shut your mouth when you smile, dear.” Do you think Playboy models look like that riding the subway? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/26 "2007-03-11T21:02:20Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Yeah but, don’t magazines, like any product, want as wide a market as possibe? [/QUOTE] No. They want to make as much money as possible which are two different things. A wide but very shallow market is not as good as a more narrow but very deep one. A wide market across the entire economic strata might not be as good as a more narrow but much more wealthy one. Should Ferrari make changes to their cars to make them more accessible to the general public? I don’t think that anyone can argue that Playboy hasn’t done extremely well in their niche and that their marketing plan is a poor one. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/27 "2007-03-11T21:32:45Z")
She stood in as host on a big radio show here a few weeks back, and showed a real knowledge of current music, and also was pretty good at the whole hosting side of it. Especially given the audience, she was terrified, but earned a good reception. So I guess an attributed Heffner quote is hardly ‘hitting reality’. Sure, there’s obvious quips about it being radio. But stop and think about who they actually tell us something about. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/28 "2007-03-11T21:36:47Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] I doubt the Pope likes Ozzy or Kelly. [/QUOTE] He’s more into Madonna. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/29 "2007-03-11T22:31:20Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] Do they also like small brains, hideous hair, lots of childish tattoos, a weird, carnivorous smile, bad fashion sense and a total lack of musical talent? Let’s not pretend that this is Helen of Troy with just a fuller figure: > **[UGO](http://www.ugo.com)** > > UGO is a pop culture comedy site. We celebrate our obsessions by cracking jokes and making awesome videos. We kid because we love. [/QUOTE] Kelly attended the Tammy Fae Baker school of eye makeup I see. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/30 "2007-03-11T22:43:37Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] **Argent Towers** & **Secret Volcano Lair** , I find this interesting. Did you also think Monica Lewinsky was cute? At least Monica had a cuter face, Kelly is unattractive by most standards. [/QUOTE] Monica Lewinsky wasn’t cute, she was hot. Definitely better looking than Kelly Osbourne, by a long shot. I’m not saying Kelly is gorgeous, I’m just saying that I don’t find her to be ugly. I also think she shouldn’t be in Playboy - I agree that she’s just not the type - but Hef could have just said that and not taken a shot at her appearance. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/31 "2007-03-11T22:57:09Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] Monica Lewinsky wasn’t cute, she was hot. Definitely better looking than Kelly Osbourne, by a long shot. I’m not saying Kelly is gorgeous, I’m just saying that I don’t find her to be ugly. I also think she shouldn’t be in Playboy - I agree that she’s just not the type - but Hef could have just said that and not taken a shot at her appearance. [/QUOTE] Thanks for answering & clearing that up. Monica was hot? Okay, makes sense in a way. If Monica is hot to you, I can see the shift to Kelly being not ugly. 😉 Jim ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/32 "2007-03-11T23:15:21Z")
[QUOTE=hajario] I don’t think that anyone can argue that Playboy hasn’t done extremely well in their niche and that their marketing plan is a poor one. [/QUOTE] Their original marketing plan was brilliant. Their current one lacks enterprise. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/33 "2007-03-11T23:40:57Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Do you think Playboy models look like that riding the subway? [/QUOTE] Well, I imagine they have their clothes on. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/34 "2007-03-11T23:43:47Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Do you think Playboy models look like that riding the subway? [/QUOTE] Nor do they look like they’ve been struck by it. Kelly is, well, repulsive. Maybe in Field and Stream, but certainly not in Playboy. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/35 "2007-03-11T23:49:15Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] > **[UGO](http://www.ugo.com)** > > UGO is a pop culture comedy site. We celebrate our obsessions by cracking jokes and making awesome videos. We kid because we love. [/QUOTE] OMG! Jonbenet grew up! So who was the body in the cellar? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/36 "2007-03-11T23:49:31Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] Well, I imagine they have their clothes on. [/QUOTE] Please, someone call my travel agent and ask him to cancel my flight to New York… ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/37 "2007-03-12T00:03:48Z")
[QUOTE=Caridwen] She’s not hideous but she does have a rather large Charley Brown shaped head. I take that back, it’s shaped more like Lucy’s head. [http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/peanuts/](http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/peanuts/) [/QUOTE] [Comic book pedant] Actually, I think the gal in that strip is Violet. Lucy doesn’t have a pony tail. [/Comic book pedant] ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/38 "2007-03-12T00:09:01Z")
So you’re saying that she has a violet-shaped head? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/39 "2007-03-12T00:34:30Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] Well, I imagine they have their clothes on. [/QUOTE] Well it depends on which line you’re riding. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449/40 "2007-03-12T00:44:40Z")
the whole thing about Kelly Osbourne is that she is famous/notorius. If she was the girl serving you from behind the mcdonald’s counter, you wouldn’t look twice at her. don’t get the packaging confused with the product… regards FML [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kelly-osbourne-finally-hit-by-reality/395449.md?page=3)