# Kermit, you insensitive green bastard **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 28, 2002, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472 "2002-06-28T22:44:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/1 "2002-06-28T22:44:47Z")
Sure, you were cute on Sesame Street and various parts of the Muppet Show and the Muppet movies showed you to be a true humanitarian, but it has now become obvious that you are completely insensitive to Miss Piggy’s feelings and completely undeserving of her unlimited love for you. I’m refering, of course, to how you chose to spend your 25th anniversary. Doing a Denny’s commercial. You even say at the end “I’m a frog, I don’t do French”, implying that you’d never eat at the French restaraunt that Piggy desired to eat at simply because they serve frog’s legs. She didn’t ask you to eat the frog’s legs, she didn’t say that she would eat them, she mearly wanted to spend a special occasion at a special place. But no, you little web-toed freak, you take her to Denny’s For a Grand Slam Breakfast. Piggy asks what’s in it, and the waitress gets to “Two pancakes, two eggs…” before she orders three of them, confident that you at least have her best interests at heart, even if you wouldn’t go where she wanted to go. Little does the poor girl know that, with the three breakfasts she ordered, she’ll be confronted with SIX strips of BACON and SIX SAUSAGES. You’re a cruel, cruel frog, Kermit, and I, for one, refuse to continue to support your perverted and self-serving sense of humor. -lv ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/2 "2002-06-28T22:53:15Z")
Hey, give the little guy a break will ya. He showing an interest in her family, that’s all. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/3 "2002-06-28T22:55:03Z")
“But Piggy, you said you wanted me to have a meal with your folks” ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/4 "2002-06-28T22:56:18Z")
Jeez, the guy’s a major TV personality, and all he can spring for is Denny’s. Cheap schmuck. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/5 "2002-06-28T23:09:02Z")
Maybe it’s just that **Kermit** wants to show **Miss Piggy** what a real “Grand Slam” feels like later that night 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/6 "2002-06-28T23:18:15Z")
So, what… he should string her along like he’s interested? Then break her heart later? ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/7 "2002-06-28T23:43:39Z")
Well, she said “Eat Me”, and I guess he’s taking her literally! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jhwood9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9e8a1a/32.png) [@jhwood9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jhwood9)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/8 "2002-06-28T23:53:02Z")
Kermit just has not been the same since the death of Jim Henson. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/9 "2002-06-29T00:04:00Z")
[http://players.gamernic.com/Guinastasia/kermit.gif](http://players.gamernic.com/Guinastasia/kermit.gif) I wonder what Piggy would do if she found out? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/10 "2002-06-29T00:52:48Z")
Just the usual date - dinner and a sow. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/11 "2002-06-29T01:23:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LordVor \* > You even say at the end “I’m a frog, I don’t do French” You would think that a frog is a natural for frenching. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/12 "2002-06-29T01:26:57Z")
Depends on whether one is using the ‘modern’ definition of Frenching…or the older one. The right people will get it. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/13 "2002-06-29T01:32:03Z")
Wait, he doesn’t do “French”, but he obviously eats pork. Now I _am_ confused. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/14 "2002-06-29T01:37:35Z")
Wait, he doesn’t do “French”, but he obviously eats pork. Now I _am_ confused. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/15 "2002-06-29T02:14:04Z")
“Non-human” celebrities tend to have odd inconsistencies about them. Like, I could never understand why Mickey Mouse was friends with Goofy (a dog) yet owns Pluto (also a dog). In the surreal muppet world, you can eat AND date pig. Trying to reconcile it may cause a rift in the space-time continuum. ---
**Author:** ![Victory\_Candescence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Victory\_Candescence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Victory_Candescence)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/16 "2002-06-29T02:50:06Z")
Wow, Kermit is even crueler than the Snuggle Soft bear. ---
**Author:** ![cercaria](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@cercaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cercaria)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/17 "2002-06-29T03:17:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShibbOleth \* > **… but he obviously eats pork.** Heh. Hehhehhehhehheh. Hehhehhehhehhehhehheh! Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/18 "2002-06-29T13:09:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > \*\*In the surreal muppet world, you can eat AND date pig. Trying to reconcile it may cause a rift in the space-time continuum. \*\* \*\* Dr. Kermit Letchter? \*\* ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/19 "2002-06-29T13:14:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > **"Non-human" celebrities tend to have odd inconsistencies about them. Like, I could never understand why Mickey Mouse was friends with Goofy (a dog) yet owns Pluto (also a dog).** [Cecil answers all](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_077.html), grasshopper ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472/20 "2002-06-29T17:18:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Recursion \* > \*\*Wow, Kermit is even crueler than the Snuggle Soft bear. \*\* What’s Snuggle Bear done lately? He always seemed like such a nice bear… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kermit-you-insensitive-green-bastard/116472.md?page=2)