# Kerry Shooting Himself in the Foot Already. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 3, 2004, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063 "2004-08-03T02:01:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/1 "2004-08-03T02:01:22Z")
So, what do you do when you’re in a bind? You’ve got a far-left base behind you who is convinced that you’ll run from Iraq and suddenly peace will break out around the world. On the other hand, you have the undecideds you’re trying to win over, who are worried that you’re a weak waffler who can’t be trusted to fight the war. If you’re John Kerry, here’s what you do… You come up with a SECRET PLAN. From the _Washington Post_: > [@](#): > > When questioned about saying Thursday in his acceptance speech, “I know what we have to do in Iraq,” he would not tip his hand. > > “I’ve been involved in this for a long time, longer than George Bush,” he said. “I’ve spent 20 years negotiating, working, fighting for different kinds of treaties and different relationships around the world. I know that as president there’s huge leverage that will be available to me, enormous cards to play, and I’m not going to play them in public. I’m not going to play them before I’m president.” > > Reminded that he sounded like Richard M. Nixon, who campaigned in 1968 by saying he had a secret plan to end the war in Vietnam, Kerry responded: “I don’t care what it sounds like. The fact is that I’m not going to negotiate in public today without the presidency, without the power.” Got that? Kerry has a plan, but HE WON’T TELL YOU WHAT IT IS. Just trust him, okay? The president has special powers that no one knows about, and Kerry’s ready to use them in a super-secret way. And of course, his super-secret plan is totally unusable by a mere Senator, because in the last twenty years he hasn’t so much as mentioned a way to solve the terrorism problem. You’d think he would have at least called up Clinton or Bush and said, “Hey, why aren’t you guys using your SECRET POWERS? Didn’t you know about them? They’re in the second drawer from the left, right under those old missing Watergate tapes.” What an idiot. How can anyone take seriously a candidate who refuses to tell you what he’d do before the election, but trusts you to believe that he’s got a secret plan all worked out? This is grade school stuff. In other Kerry idiocy news, he wants to [give nuclear fuel to Iran](http://msnbc.msn.com/id/5570503/site/newsweek/): > [@](#): > > Thirdly, he has proposed that rather than letting the British, the French and the Germans do this themselves, that we together call the bluff of the Iranian government, which claims that its only need is energy. And we say to them: “Fine, we will provide you the fuel that you need if Russia fails to provide it.” Participating in such a diplomatic initiative makes it more likely to succeed. This may be the most moronic thing he’s proposed yet. Do we really need to ‘Call Iran’s Bluff’? Is there anyone on this planet who honestly believes that Iran, awash in oil, needs nuclear power for its energy needs? Iran, which exports about twice as much oil as it uses at home? So two things can come out of this proposal: One is that Iran could say no, and Kerry can say, “Hey, they really DO want bombs!” while the rest of us yawn and shake our heads. Or, the Mullahs can say, “Hey, that’s mighty nice of you! Help us get our reactor going, fuel it for us, and take the spent fuel back home again. For sure, that’ll keep us from refining our own!” You know, like North Korea did. Every time Kerry appears in public, his poll numbers drop. The Democrats LOST ground during the convention (New Gallup poll shows Bush with a 4pt gain since the week before the convention - an unheard-of development). Now we know why. Every time the man opens his mouth he proves that he’s unfit for office. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/2 "2004-08-03T02:05:22Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Kerry has a plan, but HE WON’T TELL YOU WHAT IT IS. Like Nixon in '68? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/3 "2004-08-03T02:06:24Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Every time the man opens his mouth he proves that he’s unfit for office. Like Bush in '00? ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/4 "2004-08-03T02:08:20Z")
Exactly like Nixon in '68. And what a great plan that was, huh? You can get away with that crap once. Nixon did. But are people going to fall for that again? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/5 "2004-08-03T02:10:18Z")
It is clear to the meanest intelligence that George W. Bush is completely unfit for office. He’s admitted that he doesn’t read, he has no ability to speak or think unless he’s scripted, he’s lied to the public and to the congress, he has no ideas except the notion that God is on his side. And of course, he’s trying to replace the Republic with a Monarchy (the Bush family as the U.S. royal family). So, now, if Kerry is also unfit for the presidency, then we’re faced with a very difficult decision. I suggest you might vote for Ralph Nader or for Pat Buchanan. OK, seriously: No military leader worth beans would ever announce his military plans. Military plans only work if the other side doesn’t know what they are. Has George W. told us his military plans? He has none – we won the war in Iraq, so there’s no need for any future plans, right? Bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/6 "2004-08-03T02:12:53Z")
**Ukelele Ike** said: > [@](#): > > Like Bush in '00? We’re talking about Kerry, mm’kay? I know it’s a standard tactic by the Kerry folks to deflect attention from their guy by yelling “BUSH LIED!”, but at some point you actually have to try to defend what Kerry is saying. The thing is, I think he’s politically tone-deaf. I watched his speech - that stuff about “being born in the West Wing” sounded pompous and entitled. His salute and “I am reporting for duty!” thing was such an obvious pander to his four-month Vietnam tour that I’ll bet even some Democrats rolled their eyes. I predict a fun run-up to the election. I think Kerry has many more feet he can still stuff in his mouth. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/7 "2004-08-03T02:15:50Z")
> [@Ukulele Ike](#): > > Like Nixon in '68? Exactly, as **Sam Stone** noted in his OP: > [@Sam Stone](#): > > Reminded that he sounded like Richard M. Nixon, who campaigned in 1968 by saying he had a secret plan to end the war in Vietnam, Kerry responded: “I don’t care what it sounds like. \” After hearing a few of his speeches, does anybody still wonder why Kerry stayed silent as long as he did? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/8 "2004-08-03T02:16:43Z")
I go through Cecil’s mail, and I gotta tell you, I’ve never seen so many (contradictory) anti-Kerry stories floating around. He was never in Vietnam, it was all a hoax. He wasn’t really a hero, he wasn’t really wounded, he wasn’t really in the Senate, he isn’t really married, you name it, I’ve seen it floating by. We’ve got four months to go, and this is already the nastiest election I’ve ever seen, full of absolute lies and bull-shit… all of it anti-Kerry. Makes one wonder, what kind of propaganda machines are at work here. I guess when you have unlimited funds from the wealthiest companies, you can spread whatever rumours and lies you choose. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/9 "2004-08-03T02:24:18Z")
_\full of absolute lies and bull-shit… all of it anti-Kerry._ **Dex**! You’ve been spending too much time reading Cecil’s mail and not enough time checking out threads in The Pit and GD. There’s plenty of lies and bull-shit coming from both sides. ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/10 "2004-08-03T02:29:12Z")
For anyone who’s still interested in the straight dope on Kerry’s plans, here’s a couple of links from his official campaign site. These are not hard to find, and certainly contain no talk of “secret plans”. However, anyone who expects that Kerry would or could give details on specific diplomatic maneuvers and negotiating strategems half a year before he’ll be in a position to implement them is, well, let’s just say every bit as perspicacious as the OP. Here’s the links: [Defeating Global Terrorism](http://www.johnkerry.com/issues/national_security/terrorism.html) [Reducing Nuclear Threats](http://www.johnkerry.com/issues/national_security/strategy.html) And just for shits and grins: [Science and Technology](http://www.johnkerry.com/issues/technology/) ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/11 "2004-08-03T02:31:14Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Got that? Kerry has a plan, but HE WON’T TELL YOU WHAT IT IS. Just trust him, okay? The president has special powers that no one knows about, and Kerry’s ready to use them in a super-secret way. Kerry’s lame in words but Bush has been hideous in actions. I’ll take the former any day. > [@](#): > > How can anyone take seriously a candidate who refuses to tell you what he’d do before the election, but trusts you to believe that he’s got a secret plan all worked out? This is grade school stuff. At this point it’s all just marketing and positioning. He and his handlers probably feel that it’s better just to blow off the question than to get into specifics. He might lose some points for this yet gain them on the issues he does choose to focus on. > [@](#): > > This may be the most moronic thing he’s proposed yet. Do we really need to ‘Call Iran’s Bluff’? Is there anyone on this planet who honestly believes that Iran, awash in oil, needs nuclear power for its energy needs? Iran, which exports about twice as much oil as it uses at home? Same thing. Just blowing off or spinning the question to get to the next on which he feels he’ll have the stronger answer. Not a gawddamn thing anything these pols say can be taken literally; you have to read between the spin lines to gather any info. > [@](#): > > Every time Kerry appears in public, his poll numbers drop. The Democrats LOST ground during the convention (New Gallup poll shows Bush with a 4pt gain since the week before the convention - an unheard-of development). Not what I heard. I heard it was 49/45 Kerry-Bush with a 4 point bounce from the DNC. > [@](#): > > Now we know why. Every time the man opens his mouth he proves that he’s unfit for office. His supporters certainly don’t see him that way. I think he’s wishy-washy but likely quite competent. Bush, on the other hand, is the political dregs. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/12 "2004-08-03T02:35:12Z")
Trick worked more than once. Why not try it again? After all, the American people will believe anything, right? ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/13 "2004-08-03T02:35:41Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > an obvious pander to his four-month Vietnam tour. Kerry was in the Vietnamese theater from 66 to 69. Get a fucking clue, or learn some fucking math. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/14 "2004-08-03T02:42:22Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > I go through Cecil’s mail, and I gotta tell you, I’ve never seen so many (contradictory) anti-Kerry stories floating around. He was never in Vietnam, it was all a hoax. He wasn’t really a hero, he wasn’t really wounded, he wasn’t really in the Senate, he isn’t really married, you name it, I’ve seen it floating by. > > We’ve got four months to go, and this is already the nastiest election I’ve ever seen, full of absolute lies and bull-shit… all of it anti-Kerry. Makes one wonder, what kind of propaganda machines are at work here. I guess when you have unlimited funds from the wealthiest companies, you can spread whatever rumours and lies you choose. You know, the government’s been talking about moving the election date because of a terrorist attack. How about we shift it to next month? That way we’ll throw the terrorists off and we can be done with all this bullshit all the more sooner (at least until the 2006 mid-term elections). ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/15 "2004-08-03T02:44:14Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > We’ve got four months to go, and this is already the nastiest election I’ve ever seen, full of absolute lies and bull-shit… all of it anti-Kerry. Like **JCoM** said, where the hell have you been? ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/16 "2004-08-03T02:48:11Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Kerry has a plan, but HE WON’T TELL YOU WHAT IT IS. Just trust him, okay? The president has special powers that no one knows about, and Kerry’s ready to use them in a super-secret way. He’s hiding his plan in Al Gore’s lockbox. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/17 "2004-08-03T02:54:06Z")
**NurseCarmen** said: > [@](#): > > Kerry was in the Vietnamese theater from 66 to 69. Get a fucking clue, or learn some fucking math. Y’know, before you go fucking yelling at someone to get a fucking clue, you might want to fucking make sure you know what you’re fucking talking about. John Kerry signed up in 1966. He was in training until 1967, and then reported to the USS Gridley as a watch officer. The Gridley spent its time in the Philippines, New Zealand, and for a short time it was a support ship in the Gulf of Tonkin. Kerry returned to the states in 1968, at which point he applied for Swift Boat training. He reported for duty in Vietnam on November 17, 1968. On March 17, 1969, EXACTLY FOUR MONTHS AFTER HE FUCKING GOT TO FUCKING VIET FUCKING NAM, John Kerry used his third Purple Heart to apply for relief from combat duty, which was granted. He left Vietnam shortly thereafter. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/18 "2004-08-03T03:00:26Z")
**C K Dexter Haven** said: > [@](#): > > We’ve got four months to go, and this is already the nastiest election I’ve ever seen, full of absolute lies and bull-shit… all of it anti-Kerry. Are we living on the same planet? This board is full of 24/7 Bush bashing. The Democrats have accused him of lying, Joe Wilson has been on a rampage. Michael Moore has a movie out accusing Bush of being in bed with the Bin Ladens. There are tons of anti-bush books and movies out or coming out. [MoveOn.org](http://MoveOn.org) and George Soros have spent over a hundred million dollars attacking Bush. The amount of vitriol aimed at Kerry so far in this campaign is but a tiny fraction of the stuff being hurled at Bush. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/19 "2004-08-03T03:04:16Z")
Kerry’s plan: secret GeeDubya’s plan: the people line the streets strewing roses in the path of our soldiers. Shia, Sunni and Kurds join hands for “Kumbaya” and “I’d Like to Buy The World A Qu’oke!” before they have to go get ready for the giant “Gosh! Do we ever love America!” rally. Iraq then pays for the privilege of being remolded in our likeness by mortgaging their oil revenues forever. Beaming with gratitude at our generosity, the gaze at us with the slobbery devotion of a puppy with a well-chewed tennis ball, imploring you to play. I’ve pretty much seen how Plan B from Outer Space has worked out. Frankly, I think John Kerry could improvise a better plan than that. I’m willing to take a chance on the secret plan. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063/20 "2004-08-03T03:04:52Z")
Anti-Bush stuff-coming from all over the entire fucking planet. Anti-Kerry stuff- coming from the Committe to Re-elect George Bush. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kerry-shooting-himself-in-the-foot-already/258063.md?page=2)