# Ketchup Kontest **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [December 21, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244 "2008-12-21T23:50:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/1 "2008-12-21T23:50:03Z")
While contemplating a bottle of Heinz catchup I noted the label read: **MOTHER’S LITTLE HELPER** In the past they have printed other witty comments such as: **GOES GREAT WITH FOOD** They are having a contest. Eight words or less. Any thoughts? **NOW WITH EXTRA RED** ? ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/2 "2008-12-22T01:09:28Z")
**rarely makes you dead** ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/3 "2008-12-22T01:15:55Z")
Ketchup flavored ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/4 "2008-12-22T01:20:01Z")
\*\*Intentionally Left Blank Dogs Love It! nom nom nom nom nom\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/5 "2008-12-22T01:26:36Z")
**makes hot dogs wimpy** ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/6 "2008-12-22T01:30:53Z")
**(Almost) Technically a Serving of Vegetables** **Pedantically Fruit-Flavored** ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/7 "2008-12-22T03:55:42Z")
A ketchup/catsup that won’t kill you! ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/8 "2008-12-22T03:58:20Z")
We all float down here. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/9 "2008-12-22T14:44:34Z")
You want fries with this. ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/10 "2008-12-22T15:03:22Z")
**May contain traces of tomato** **As seen on TV’s _The Rockford Files_. Probably.** ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/11 "2008-12-22T15:24:12Z")
**Makes A Wet Fart Sound When Squeezed. Put This On Your Mom’s Wedding Dress Now. WARNING: Do Not Put Ketchup On Hot Dogs. Heinz Ketchup: Enabling Unhealthy Eating Habits Since 1869.** ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/12 "2008-12-22T15:32:25Z")
**Now contains fewer larvae!** **Tomatoes for people who hate tomatoes.** **Chug! Chug! Chug!** ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/13 "2008-12-22T17:56:32Z")
**This is the best I could muster-d.** ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/14 "2008-12-22T18:16:47Z")
\*\*Don’t sweat on my cakehole and tell me it’s cotton candy! There’s more than one way to pimpslap a yule log. It’s all fuzzy bunnies and ribeyes until someone tweaks a man boob. \*\* Salsa has now passed ketchup as America’s favorite condiment. Isn’t that amazing? You know it’s bad when even our vegetables are starting to lose their jobs to Mexico. ---
**Author:** ![criminey.jicket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@criminey.jicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminey.jicket)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/15 "2008-12-22T19:13:12Z")
**this end up** ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/16 "2008-12-22T20:25:40Z")
[Old thread on same topic](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=134144). Some good 'uns in there! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/17 "2008-12-22T20:43:22Z")
Heinz - the only acceptable brand. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ketchup-kontest/478244/18 "2008-12-22T20:48:36Z")
Objects in bottle are closer than they appear.