# Kids are dolts, wife is fat, I'm an imbecile, and it's all your fault! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 11, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901 "2004-01-11T01:49:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/1 "2004-01-11T01:49:39Z")
Mr. Dimwit has sued the cable company for the intellectual demise of his otherwise Harvard-bound progeny, as well as his wife now rivalling the size of an SUV. Yes, Einstein-they were all forced at gunpoint to watch hour after hour of Dyke Van Dick reruns while consuming cheese curls by the boxload. An appropriate punishment [for people such as these](http://www.wisinfo.com/thereporter/news/archive/local_14044768.shtml) has yet to be devised. :wally ---
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/2 "2004-01-11T01:52:15Z")
Just saw your post. There is another one about this. Give me some time and I will link it. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/3 "2004-01-11T01:53:04Z")
These people are morons who should not be allowed to exist in the same galaxy with the rest of us. Can we put them on the next manned space flight to Mars or something and just leave them there? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/4 "2004-01-11T01:54:10Z")
Why fuck up Mars, **norinew**? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/5 "2004-01-11T01:57:40Z")
Morons will always be morons. There _will always be_ morons. We should be pitting the system that allows people to sue companies for allowing them to be stupid and lazy. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/6 "2004-01-11T02:04:08Z")
Heck, check out this follow-up story of the guy’s press conference! [http://www.wisinfo.com/thereporter/news/archive/local\_14086913.shtml](http://www.wisinfo.com/thereporter/news/archive/local_14086913.shtml) ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/7 "2004-01-11T02:07:51Z")
At least he hasn’t (yet) sued the company/ies that forced food down his wife’s throat until she was fifty pounds overweight. ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/8 "2004-01-11T02:09:21Z")
My cable company sued me for $10,000 after leaving the cable on in my house for about 3 years. This after I had called them to cancel and returned their cable box. Sent a fucking process server to my house and actually took the case before a judge. There was a fucking trial. I have little sympathy for cable companies. I hope he gets the computers. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/9 "2004-01-11T02:15:52Z")
**county** , if I may ask, what was the outcome of the trial? If you don’t want to get into it, I understand and won’t press you. That’s ridiculous, though. ---
**Author:** ![Gomez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d78d45/32.png) [@Gomez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gomez)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/10 "2004-01-11T02:29:29Z")
This cunt is a gutless, spineless, dickless, soulless, gormless, craven, filth ridden, vile, syphilitic little goblin with about as much by way of brains as a laboratory rodent that’s spent all its formative years being tested for the effects of blue star acid on cognitive ability. I’m avowedly against the death penalty but I wholeheartedly advocate the summary execution of this scrofulous subhuman to provide sweet relief to all who are **SICK TO THE FUCKING BACK TEETH** of these shitwitted plaintiffs and their idiotic lawsuits. He, his gargantuan slack cunted gutterwhore wife and his fat fucking tick like children need to die slowly, bloodily and publicly to ward off other moneygrubbing litigious bastards with similar ideas. Only then will we have peace. ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/11 "2004-01-11T02:30:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Big Bad Voodoo Lou \* > \*\ ***county** , if I may ask, what was the outcome of the trial? If you don’t want to get into it, I understand and won’t press you. That’s ridiculous, though. \*\* No problem, the judge found me not guilty. It was an experience though. I had to go to “poor peoples” court about 3-4 times over this (including the trial). That is where they sue all the poor people (And deadbeats if they can ifnd them). It was/is a miserable process to have to go thru. But it was interesting to watch the cable company process all their cases. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/12 "2004-01-11T02:30:35Z")
> [@](#): > > There was a fucking trial. The selection process was…? ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/13 "2004-01-11T02:33:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gomez \* > \*\*This cunt is a gutless, spineless, dickless, soulless, gormless, craven, filth ridden, vile, syphilitic little goblin with about as much by way of brains as a laboratory rodent that’s spent all its formative years being tested for the effects of blue star acid on cognitive ability. > > I’m avowedly against the death penalty but I wholeheartedly advocate the summary execution of this scrofulous subhuman to provide sweet relief to all who are **SICK TO THE FUCKING BACK TEETH** of these shitwitted plaintiffs and their idiotic lawsuits. > > He, his gargantuan slack cunted gutterwhore wife and his fat fucking tick like children need to die slowly, bloodily and publicly to ward off other moneygrubbing litigious bastards with similar ideas. > > Only then will we have peace. \*\* Well, I don’t know them personally, like you, but it is a two-way street as far as I am concerned. ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/14 "2004-01-11T02:34:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by danceswithcats \* > \*\*The selection process was…? \*\* I don’t understand what you mean. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/15 "2004-01-11T02:38:18Z")
Oh Lordy, that press conference was priceless. The best part is when he says his wife is miffed at his reporting that she got fat. And one of the little tykes is thirty. And that when he said to one of the cable employees that she’d be swimming with the sharks soon, he meant the sharks of the media. Oh what the hell, it’s ALL good parts. At least he’s not going to actually go forward with the suit. Damn, I was so looking forward to that testimony. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/16 "2004-01-11T02:41:18Z")
This guy gives rubes a bad name. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/17 "2004-01-11T02:45:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lobsang \* > \*\*Morons will always be morons. There _will always be_ morons. We should be pitting the system that allows people to sue companies for allowing them to be stupid and lazy. \*\* I don’t see anything wrong with the system. The cable company should countersue for legal fees. Providing the morons don’t win, the system works. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/18 "2004-01-11T06:13:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by norinew \* > \*\*These people are morons who should not be allowed to exist in the same galaxy with the rest of us. Can we put them on the next manned space flight to Mars or something and just leave them there? \*\* We should put them all in the first intergalactic transport, and assure them that the rest of us will be following shortly. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/19 "2004-01-11T07:10:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qadgop the Mercotan \* > \*\*Heck, check out this follow-up story of the guy’s press conference! > > [http://www.wisinfo.com/thereporter/news/archive/local\_14086913.shtml](http://www.wisinfo.com/thereporter/news/archive/local_14086913.shtml) \*\* From the link: > [@](#): > > He said his wife is angry at him for his comment about her weight. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901/20 "2004-01-11T14:35:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*We should put them all in the first intergalactic transport, and assure them that the rest of us will be following shortly. \*\* “The ‘B’ Ark is now ready for boarding at Gate 14B. Please have your boarding passes and IQ test results ready for the gate attendant.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-are-dolts-wife-is-fat-im-an-imbecile-and-its-all-your-fault/223901.md?page=2)