# Kids' funny lyrics to well-known songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 1, 1999, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390 "1999-09-01T22:22:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 1999, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/1 "1999-09-01T22:22:00Z")
Quite a few of us must know some of these. When my younger brother was about 13, a friend of his sang a version of the “Colonel Bogey March” (cf. Hitler’s one testicle, as Cecil mentioned in \* More of the Straight Dope, \* and the movie [Bridge over the River Kwai": ) \* Comet, it makes your mouth turn green Comet, it takes like Listerine Comet It makes you vomit So get some Comet and vomit today! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 1999, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/2 "1999-09-01T22:39:00Z")
I hate Bosco! Bosco hates me! Mommy put some in my milk And tried to poison me! I fooled Mommy! I put some in her tea. Now I have no mommy To try and poison me! Bosco was a chocolate drink mix. I haven’t seen or heard of it for years and I couldn’t tell you the words to the real jingle to save my life but I remember the parody. My kids used to sing the part in Jingle Bells about “bells on bobtails ring” as “bells on Baptists ring”. It always brings back memories of wintry nights and romantic sleighrides with grunting Baptists jingling along as they pulled the sleigh! * * * “non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem” – William of Ockham ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 1999, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/3 "1999-09-01T22:43:00Z")
Hey, Pluto: Did you by any chance grow up in or near Venice, CA, in the 50s? My older brother knew those lyrics to the Bosco jingle! We’d never dare sing that within our mother’s earshot, of course. Especially today. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 1999, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/4 "1999-09-01T22:50:00Z")
## No, I grew up in Spokane, WA. But I think we must be near the same age! “non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem” – William of Ockham ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 1999, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/5 "1999-09-01T22:51:00Z")
I was born June 10, 1949. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 1999, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/6 "1999-09-02T02:20:00Z")
I remember the Comet song from my childhood, but I had NO idea what tune was being parodied. Guess you just don’t hear the “Colonel Bogey March” any more … ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 1999, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/7 "1999-09-02T03:22:00Z")
Sung to the tune of “the star-spangled banner” Oh say can you see, any bedbugs on me? If you do, pick a few, and I’ll fry them for you. If you happen to throw up, I will lend you a cup; drink it down, do not frown, for it’s nourishing too… Oh say do those bedbugs ever yet roam over the land of the free and the beds of our home? * * * “Eppur, si muove!” - Galileo Galilei ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 1999, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/8 "1999-09-02T13:13:00Z")
Oh, this brings back memories…our elementary school principals name was Mr. Spicer…This song has been in existence for years before I started school and as far as I know is still being sung. **Ahem** Whistle while you work, Spicer is a jerk, Ennie Meanie bit his weinie, now it doesn’t squirt. Took it for repair, filled it up with air, Overloaded and exploded, now there’s nothing there. What do you want from a bunch of kids? * * * An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 1999, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/9 "1999-09-02T15:02:00Z")
_Jingle bells, Batman™ smells, Robin™ layed an egg. The Batmobile™ lost a wheel and the Joker™ got away… hey!_ ---
**Author:** ![Lucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Lucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 1999, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/10 "1999-09-02T16:04:00Z")
Sung to the tune of “My Country Tis of Thee” My country’s tired of me, I’m going to Germany My name is Fritz. My mother used to sing this all the time. Don’t know why, but it cracked me up. * * * “I think it would be a great idea” Mohandas Ghandi’s answer when asked what he thought of Western civilization ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/11 "1999-09-03T05:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t know why, but it cracked me up. Umm… Because it’s funny? C’mon Lucky, she’s not my mom, but she cracks me up too! Remember “Disco Duck”? When my wittle brother and I were young (he was 5, I was 7), way before we knew any curse words, we’d sing: “Disco, Disco Duck, Risco, Risco Ruck, Misco, Misco Muck, Cisco, Cisco Suck, Fisco, Fisco Fuck…” My dad says he never corrected us. He didn’t _want_ us to know we were cursing or we probably would have done it more! * * * Most common question I ask: “What?” Most common question I get: “Are you really hearing impaired?” ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 1999, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/12 "1999-09-02T20:41:00Z")
Hey, Zette: Didn’t you see this in \* More of the Straight Dope? {/i] Whistle while you work Hitler is a jerk Musssolini bit his weenie Now it doesn’t squirt. And to the tune of the “Colonel Bogey March”: Hitler, he only has one ball Goering has two but very small Himmler Is very sim’lar And Goebbels has no balls at all. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-funny-lyrics-to-well-known-songs/7390/13 "1999-09-03T04:48:00Z")
“Jingle bells, Batman™ smells, Robin™ layed an egg. The Batmobile™ lost a wheel and the Joker™ got away… hey!” Say, AWB, didn’t anybody ever teach you the second verse? Batman’s in the kitchen Robin’s in the hall The Joker’s in the bathroom Peeing on the wall…