Kids giving presents to teachers, bus drivers, etc?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I live in a fairly small town, and my husband’s family owns a well-known restaurant/bar where a lot of people like to eat and hang out.

He and I will usually slip our son’s elementary-school teacher a little gift card to the restaurant once during the school year usually around Christmas.

Our son rides the school bus also. The bus driver typically drives our son all the way up to our house at the end of the day. We live out in the country about three-quarters of a mile away from the bus stop. There are only about four kids who ride this particular route, and the driver always gives each kid something for Christmas (last year, it was a gift card from McDonald’s). The driver always gets a gift card from us as well.

22

I’ve been to school in Perth and Vancouver and I don’t think this is common in either place. We did give my 6th and 7th grade teacher presents because we were a special class, very small (started with 7, there were 11 when I left) so we were a lot closer than most classes. With that said, I have no recollection of what I gave her :o

23

Speak for yourselves :smiley:

24

In elementary school the parents pooled their money and bought one present for the teacher. The individual contributions always were relatively small. This stopped in secondary school, in part because the parents almost never met each other.

Technically accepting presents as a teacher was illegal but at least for those collective presents nobody really cared.

25

I’m 28 and went to public schools in North Carolina. In the earlier grades, I remember giving my teachers homemade candy and cookies for Christmas. That stopped in the 4th grade, because my teacher was horrible and deserved coal and switches, not tasty treats.

My mother-in-law teaches elementary school and gets a haul every Christmas. It’s mostly small things, like cookies or bath salts. I strongly suspect that she uses the non-edible stuff as stocking stuffers for her daughters-in-law. (She’s never slipped me anything with apples on it, but I have gotten bubble bath with the “From Mikey” tag still on.)

26

1) Is this normal in your part of the planet?

We moved to the south of Holland two years ago this month. One of the problems with being an immigrant is that you are always about a half step off on this kind of thing and you end up doing something well meaning but stupid. So I just quizzed everybody for 50 kilometers on this very subject as the last day of school is Friday.

Grades at our grammar school are team taught, 2 teachers per class, and mixed age. The us equivalents are nursery-prek-K, 1st-2nd-3rd, and 4th-5th-6th.

It is common but not required to give a gift when your child “steps over” from one group to another, so every three years. Teacher birthdays are celebrated in class and a card is considered appropriate but again not common – often one teacher will arrange for the kids to make cards for another teacher during class time. Christmas gifts are Not Done, nor are St. Nicholas gifts (Christmas is here primarily a religious holiday because of St. Nicholas as far as I can make out).

My elder child who is stepping over made packets of homemade fettucine for his teachers and asked me to write out the recipe for alfredo sauce, his own favorite, and put that in.

My younger child is not stepping over so he didn’t give his teachers a gift.

There are no school buses here as far as I can make out, just regular buses which also hold childrne now and again.

2) When did this become standard practice?

I have no idea, lol. It was common when we left the States for parents to get together and buy the teachers each a larger gift, usually a gift card or cash if nobody knew the teacher well enough to have a bead on something they would really like.

When I was young in Catholic School it was done but usually the gift was then made by the parents collectively to the order of teaching nuns. Personal gifts were reserved for teachers you had a special relationship with.

3) Do you agree with this? I mean, if everyone participates, each teacher is taking home a loot of 20-odd presents twice a year. And the bus drivers with double runs could score 100!

In general what I gather is that it is here mildly disapproved of because the notion of giving a gift regularly suggests something difficult for me to articulate about, um, currying favor maybe or possibly showing off or otherwise showing up people who can’t afford it. Also there seems to be an undercurrent of feeling that it suggests they are other than professionals – you don’t give your doctor a gift, nor your lawyer. That kind of thing sort of.

4) I’m thinking this ends in High School with multiple teachers and all, right?

Haven’t got there yet. By High School if my kids want to give their teachers a gift they will have to choose it and buy it themselves and it won’t be my problem.

27

I don’t recall this being a big deal when I was a kid (30+ years ago). I think usually a parent would collect from parents/kids in the class for a Christmas gift (cash or gift certificate) but I was never directly involved.

Nowadays though, it seems to be pretty common at Christmastime. I’ve got two kids, each of which has a primary teacher, a special ed teacher, one or two therapist-types, plus bus drivers. It adds up.

So I usually make a food-type gift - some years I’ve made cheese balls (homemade cheese spread), other years, candied almonds, but most commonly I make cookie mixes in a jar (you layer all the ingredients, tie a nice bow, include baking instructions). Looks nice, gives them something to do on a cold night if they’ve got munchies, and doesn’t clutter things up once the cookies are consumed.

Then at the end of the year usually some “room mother” sends out a notice that if we’d like to contribute, send in a little cash. We usually do. Except when we forget.

Dunno how common it is in upper grade - my older one starts middle school this fall so I’ll have an idea then!

28

I teach high school. I get gifts, but they tend to be from students, not parents, and most of the kids don’t give gifts to everyone–just when they want to. Notable gifts:

A HUGE obnoxious Homecoming mum from the senior class last year. In Texas, girls get these huge ribbon concoctionslike this from their dates; somehow (I didn’t ask questions), one was ordered for me. The moms make them and I kinda suspect it was a leftover, but it was still really sweet.

Lots of carnations at Valentine’s Day and Homecoming, when the Dance Team sells them as a fundraiser. Also lots of Valentines.

An ornamental cabbage, a balloon, and a dozen roses from two kids when I got Lifetime Membership from the PTA. There is a story there.

A block of 15 exotically colored dry erase markers (perhaps my favorite gift ever).

A scrapbook about the works of Thoreau.

Photos, photos, photos and drawings.

I get the occasional gift card and plate full of baked goods, but parents tend to make donations to the scholarship fund in the teacher’s name. I am a bit ambivilant about this: I don’t need/want a gift, and I am glad they are donating, but I don’t really want to feel grateful that they’ve donated money to send their kids to college, if that makes any sense. I’d rather have a gift that was actually given to me, or nothing at all. A really weird gift was an obviously regifted cheap glass plate wrapped in tissue paper. It was mostly weird because the mom that gave me the gift owned one of the largest liquor store chains in the state. I’d have preferred a gift certificate!

We are an urban school with a very wide soci-economic range (literally about equal numbers of millionaires and refugees, and then everything in between). I learned how the other half lived when I was senior class sponsor one year and in appreciation, they gave me a key chain.

It was a Tiffany.

29

In the 60’s and 70’s:
The parents would get together and buy the teacher a present for birthdays, or marrages. All the mothers attended PTA meetings and this is where stuff was collected and decided. The moms took turns being room mothers. They collected things for the kids and bought toys for recess and such. The Room Mother’s would do the set up and serving for the monthly birthday party, and at the end of the year they got a present from the other mothers. The teacher would normaly bring in a treat or class present after they got a nice birthday present.

Now:
In the wealthier neighborhoods every kid brings in an expensive present, and then the teachers are expected to bring in nice individual presents for the kids. It’s a bit rediculous. In the poorer areas the teachers don’t get a lot of individual presents.

30

(bolding mine)
I’ve never heard of this around here. The PTA does buy a book to donate to the library (chosen by the birthday child and with a book plate with the child’s name on it inside) for each kid’s birthday. But I’d be shocked and a bit suspicious if the teacher bought my kid anything.

31

My sister will spend $500 to $1000 a year on stuff for the kids, for which I tell her she’s stupid. She has a tight home budget, and buys stuff I feel the parents or school should buy or do without. Having three relatives that deal with younger kids, I can clue you into something. They haven’t a use for most of the expensive presents, and would rather you spent it on a class present, like games or cash for games. Buying supplies for families that don’t have money for school supplies is good also.

32

It’s a wealthier neighborhood, and the parents try to out do each other. The senior school employee’s pressure non comformer’s to do it, or they give you the stink eye.

33

I certainly never gave a present to any of my teachers. I caught the train to school, so the issue of presents for the driver never arose. Had I taken the bus though, I would not have given presents to the driver either.

34

We got shuttled to some classes not at the school grounds. My senior year the bus driver was retiring and got owe class some food treats. Her daughter I’d known since kindergarden. This lady was a really nice woman. We told her to pop the hood and we would tell everybody the bus broke down and it took us 20 minutes to get it running. The class was advanced auto shop. We had a 20 minute party for her retirement.

35

I remember giving presents to my teachers in elementary school. Nothing extravagant.

36

I remember giving teachers gifts when I was young, it was rather common. And it did indeed end in by junior high.

37

My kids gave their early primary-teachers (like Prep until Grade 2) and then their Grade 6 teachers (signifying the end of primary school) a small gift at the end of school year, which here in Australia, coincides with Xmas of course, unlike in the US where it is bang smack in the middle of the grade-year.

It was usually some nice smelly stuff for the lady-teachers, and jars of lollies/chocolates for the blokey ones. The kids loved giving the gifts, and it was truly an expression of appreciation from them. Don’t begrudge them that.

38

I forgot, in high school the class often pooled their money to buy a card and present for the teacher, but this is a student thing, not a parent thing. It was also much more common for the smaller and more closely knit classes, like drama, than, say intro calc.

39

I’ve done it since I was in preschool.

I’ve always been in Catholic schools. All the teachers get gift certificates on Christmas and sometimes before summer vacation. The principal gets a gift certificate on principal’s day and the secretary on secretary’s day. We had no bus driver. The art teacher and music teacher got presents too, but never the gym teacher. poor gym teacher. I never liked her anyway.

I also have always given gifts to my dance teachers and gymnastics coaches and so on, but those tend to be more personalized because I know them better as people than I know my schoolteachers.

Since starting high school, only certain teachers get gifts and they come from the whole class. We take up a collection and have a volunteer go out and get the gift or gifts. So each student generally chips in three bucks or so.

As for kids’ birthdays… some teachers have “gift bins” full of trinkets like pencils, candy, stickers, plastic rings, and other various useless fun crap that the birthday girl or boy picks from. I’ve never heard of teachers buying individual kids birthday gifts. I would think that would get expensive after a while.

I teach dance and I get a few gifts on Christmas and such… I love every one of them. I guess that means I haven’t been teaching long enough. And I actually do get my kids vaguely personalized gifts before performances. I know all their favorite colors, so I make each one a bracelet with their name on it and their favorite colored beads and a ballerina charm and a tap shoe charm. But I only had eighteen students total at the last show… I guess I probably won’t do that anymore if I ever start teaching large numbers of people.

40
  1. No (Spain). We did buy presents for teachers who’d had babies, but it was one present from the whole class.
  2. N/A
  3. No. My class groups used to be 40 kids; they’re 30-max now. Someone who taught specific subjects to many different class groups (say, phys ed, which we started in 3rd grade) would need a Mack!
  4. I sure hope so.